I’ve been thinking about Owen Wilson lately with sadness, as I imagine many of us have been.
I think at one time or another in our life most of us have secret sorrows, where our public persona is different than/from our private persona. And our thoughts may be far different than most people observing us from outside would expect.
It’s so important to have a support team!
Sometimes it is not the folks we thought might help us who are the ones who actually do. That’s an interesting observation too.
Is there someone you can confide in? someone who is in your corner? who will keep your confidences? someone (maybe a different someone) for whom you are their support team or on it? is there someone you can encourage to have a support team (and maybe you are that someone — maybe you need to remind yourself that you are the one who is in need of a support team and that you should not delay?)
It’s hard to let down the mask sometimes, to let someone in, or find an activity that supports you, whether it is church or temple, Weight Watchers, Curves, the Internet, the gym, an exercise buddy, a book club, art lessons, a knitting shop, or etc.
What is it that stands in the way of reaching out? depression? feeling (wrongly) unworthy or unloved? feeling, at least for the moment, that it is hopeless, that there is no help, or that no one would or does understand?
Do you know what gives you comfort if you feel down? a cup of tea? convo with a friend? window shopping? having more quiet time? pacing your tasks at home better? getting help? realizing you can’t do it all and figuring out a better way to do it? doing something to lessen anxiety, stress or tension? getting out in nature? making sure you or your life doesn’t get out of balance with too much running around and not enough thought?
If you are a caregiver, it’s important to let others share some of the tasks. Do you have a someone? or several someones? are you able to let them do it their way, to give them the space to help, even if it is different than the way you might do it? (who cares, if it shares the burden?) do you feel people would judge you if you didn’t do it all?
Do you have someone who counsels you in some manner — and do you listen? (Not all counselors are equal — some we would do well not to listen to.) A pastor? a therapist? a peer? a coach? a spiritual adviser? someone who’s BTDT and is farther along the road than you are?
Do you have a book — or several books — that you turn to consistently for solace and support? (Would you share here?)
Do you notice if things don’t seem right around you? are you open to intuitively knowing if someone is hurting? how do you know when to speak up or just to support silently? at what point would you feel it is imperative to ‘interfere’ or even do an intervention? are you deepening your level of friendships (and your compassion) so that someone might confide in you if they were in need?
Do you have a support team? do you need one? (we all do)…are you ready if you suddenly had a need you weren’t expecting? is it already in place? could you strengthen it in some way?
Do you have a support team? have you ever had to call in your cards and use it?
Karin
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