I heard possibly the most helpful thought for me about grieving at a friend's funeral. The priest made the statement:
The last act of love we perform is grieving. Father Tobin
I've never heard anyone else say anything remotely like this. I have heard people say we grieve only for ourselves, or some such, but never that it is an act of love we perform for the one who has gone on. But, after all, outside of tragic circumstances when we grieve for all humanity, if we had not loved the person, we likely wouldn't grieve. Their life would not have touched us.
As I was thinking about the Easter story, I put Father Tobin's quote with:
Mark 16:1 And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him [Jesus].
It again highlighted the idea for me. Their desire was to have been both an act of love and of grieving. But Jesus was resurrected.
In the meantime, if you are grieving for any kind of loss, be gentle with yourself. Every day is a new experience; some days might be better than others; there may be some setbacks.
It helps, at times, to find others who understand your experience, because it has been theirs or because they have empathy or they love you. Asking others to walk through it with you in prayer or with their good thoughts is another help. In the meantime, be good to yourself. Give yourself the space and time to heal. And like a flower unfolding its petals you will experience a kind of resurrection yourself.
Karin
Originally posted 2007-04-09 15:52:47.
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