So what can you do to maximize happiness and minimize the opposite?
Some things seem like common sense (not revolutionary):
...the revolutionary idea that true happiness lies in building on our strengths, not rooting out our flaws. Liz Seymour
If I'm going through hard times, I try not to beat myself up over it. That just gives me two things to handle: the problem and my reaction to it. The problem is bad enough without feeling badly over how I might or might not think about it.
This analogy came to me: We use a hammer to pound something into the wall, not to beat ourselves over the head with it, which would only make us black and blue and not yield the results we'd like.
If we fault ourselves for the flaws we all have, we aren't using the hammer on the problem, but on ourselves. Ouch!
Martin Seligman's website authentichappiness.org is an interesting place to visit.
Here's some easy things you can do to increase your happiness, from the article by Liz Seymour:
1. Write a letter of gratitude to someone from your past who has been particularly kind to you, but who you've never properly thanked, and hand deliver it, if possible.
2. Every morning for a week, write down 3 good things that happened and explain what brought them about. [Make it a habit to do it at least in your thinking.]
3. Take the signature strengths questionnaire on the above site, then use one of your top 5 strengths in a different way every day for a week.
Sometimes I think these ideas are contrived, in the sense that if you have to consciously think about doing them, then they may be just on your to-do list, but not internalized enough to be anything but something else to stress over. So take the ideas and make them your own in a way that is a help, not a hindrance to making your days easier. Make it a habit to use your strengths every day, then to recognize that you have, don't beat yourself up for the things you are still unable to do or accomplish. There is another day and plenty of other opportunities. There is value in just being you.
Karin
Originally posted 2007-10-02 09:04:29.
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