Mother’s Day

Mother's Day can be a very difficult day for moms-to-be when they are waiting for an adoption.

It can also be difficult for adoptees who long to know their other mothers.

I know it was very hard for me, and I already had two children. But I was waiting and waiting for our first Chinese daughter after a lot of other doors had closed, and there was a part of me that wasn't all too sure it was really going to happen. And then, I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me. Even when I went, it seemed more like a dream than reality.

I've thought today so much of all of you who are waiting...APs, PAPs, adoptees...even first mothers.

Remember, if you are an AP or a PAP, you are already a few steps ahead to be actually waiting, and however slow it is, you are moving up the line.

Fortunately, my church has never asked mothers to stand. I think if they had, I would have had to miss the services during the years that were so difficult.

No matter what part of the triad you are, be good to yourself. Do only the things that you can do. Treat yourself gently and kindly.

When you have your child/ren or know your first mother or as a first mother you know your child/ren, you won't forget how hard it is now, but you may decide to help others in some way who are going through the same thing.

If you are an AP or a PAP, tomorrow is another day, and you are one day closer.

And there are other mothers, our children's first mothers, who may be grieving for other reasons. I don't believe my children's mothers are grieving more today than other days, because today is not a day celebrated in their country. OTOH, there are days when I might not think of them more than I usually do when it might be especially difficult for them, such as Children's Day. May we be compassionate with each other's griefs and joys.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-05-13 20:42:20.

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