We were happy to adopt these kids at ages 6 & 7. It never occurred to us that for them it was a funeral. For them it dashed every hope they ever had of returning to their bio family. Of course they didn't tell us that then but they sure acted it out.

I wish I could somehow make people who are adopting understand this. Everyone thinks we are doing something wonderful and that the children will be happy. Often the kids even state they want to be adopted and seem happy at the time. I think the truth is these kids often harbor dreams and hopes to return to their bio families and feel a deep sense of loss as the reality of what adoption means settles in for them. I think for many kids adoption is just another loss and does not hold the meaning that it does for adults. with permission

Originally posted 2007-03-01 07:08:22.

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