Recently I've been thinking about the subject of youth and age and what constitutes beauty. Is beauty cookie cutter, the way some plastic surgeons make their patients? Does everyone have to look the same?
Is there a difference between elderly and aged?
A friend's mother was elderly at age 50, but she wasn't aged. She was actually younger looking at 60. That's something to ascribe to!
And others who are clearly aged (in years) are not elderly. I laugh sometimes to see in a newspaper, "elderly woman, 63, in accident," most likely written by someone a lot younger.
I have a very dear older friend who will never be aged. She keeps too current in her thoughts and attitude.
What constitutes age?
How does one get from thinking they will never age to thinking it has either begun or already happened?
How old is old? How old will old be?
There are claims that someone alive today will live to be 150. I don't think it's out of the realm of reality. It might be you; it might be me. Why not! I say I'd like to live to be 150 and look 60 -- and I'm working on looking 60.
How old are some of the oldest today?
Yesterday, AOL had picture links to the world's oldest, ranging in age from 112ish upwards to 140 (not verified, because there's no birth certificate, but there is a passport.)
What about projections?
Projections of what beauty is are everywhere! Images, images, images, everywhere!
April 2009 Allure Magazine's cover, which you can see here jumped out at me.
On the left side of a gorgeous picture of Taylor Swift are the words:
Younger
Fresher
Happier
Seriously, do they think younger and fresher equate to happiness? OK, OK, I'll give you that no one wakes up in the morning thinking that older, haggard, and out-of-date equal happiness, but surely happiness is linked to something a bit deeper.
And seriously! how could she be any younger or fresher. Give me a break.
And while fresher can be achieved with cosmetics, it also refers to a state of mind. All the cosmetics in the world -- or surgeries -- won't help an attitude if it is stuck and unwilling to be renewed, fresh, or modern.
Then it goes on to say:
* Anti-Age Creams
That Really Work
*Foods That Fight Wrinkles
*Timeless Ways to Dress
And More
I want to go on record to state that I categorically am sure that Taylor Swift uses them all. Not.
Let's get real on a cover, shall we? I doubt she is giving a moment's thought to what she will look like at 40 or 50 or (gasp) 60 or (double-gasp) 70 and beyond.
And she is a seriously beautiful young woman who knows what it is like to look different than her contemporaries when she was in school.
And let's not forget that she had a stylist for this cover. Who wouldn't want one!
Not to mention that finding any mention of eye creams is about impossible. How about putting the page on the cover? There was a mention of which eye creams sell the best in different areas of the country (p 60.) That doesn't count.
And p 170-177 are seriously ugly. Ugly eyeliner. Ugly hair. But the model got the job. I bet she's really quite lovely. Do we have to uglify ourselves in order to be beautiful?
Here's a new book -- surprise! -- with the same subject matter:
Have you read the book? I'd like to!
Beauty Snob called it to my attention with a review that had me laughing. Thanks for reminding her that 40 was around the corner -- and she was 'pissy' besides!
"I continue on and found my self laughing out loud at the "shout outs" author Charla Krupp (long time Beauty Editor of Glamour magazine) gives at the beginning of each chapter. "Nothing Ages You Like.... Too Long hair that's parted down the middle, a solid block of hair color, gray or white brow hairs, obvious lip liner, yellow teeth etc etc". To make a long story short, I ended up staying up half the night giggling over the photos and fast tips Krupp gives throughout the book. There were more than a few instances when I gasped and thought "I MUST STOP DOING THAT!" I went to bed with a smile on my face and excited about waking up to utilize some of the tips." beautysnob
How about eyeshadow making one look old(er)?
"Some of the most notable tips are eye shadow
application. She shows photos of the "old" way and the "just right way". For example, bright bands of shadow color and a single strip of false lashes? OLD! Blend nutral shadows and add small clusters of fake lashes are more natural and youthful. Another example is shadowing your eyes: The Old Way: Paint three distinct color blocks on the lid, one atop another, with the top tier a pearly white up to the brow bone. (So many of my friends are guilty of this! They think they're blending but it looks scary!) The Newer Way: Use two neutral colors and blend them so they look natural. Oh, and there are lots of tips from experts like Chanel's Chief International Make Up artist Susan Sterling who advises to never match your shadow with the color of your eyes because it's "TACKY!". The author and her friends do not mince words and you must read it for yourself! The book is highly addictive and funny to boot." beautysnob
To tell you the truth, I'm a little tired of all the emphasis.
I'm tired of all the emphasis on the negativity of aging. Consider the alternative!
I'm tired of images of very young women superimposed with words stressing over aging.
How about you?
Several years ago, there was a photo spread in one of the magazines targeted to older women (likely 45 and up, LOL!) of women in their 60's and 70's. While each of them was different than the others, each was beautiful in her own right. There was the older woman who looked like my elderly grandmother did. There was the older woman with medium length layered hair who still looked like a coquette. There was a beautiful older black woman...and more. I clipped the photos. This was real life.
We can contribute our own pictures as the time comes.
How about the most obvious ways to look old?
Don't take care of your skin.
Don't take care of your hands. Allure talks about this too, on page 134.
Wear no makeup. Or conversely, wear the same makeup you wore at 18, unless you are only 22 or hit the right thing for you right off the bat, and it is still in style and modern. Or you are projecting a look.
How about staying fresh?
Be open to new ideas -- don't automatically be critical of or dismiss them.
Get out and about. Mingle with others who think differently than you do.
Get rid of things -- and beliefs -- that are no longer appropriate, don't make you happy, or aren't beautiful.
Learn something new everyday. If you're not a reader, find someone who loves to share new ideas. Let them do the reading. Encourage them to share.
Make choices that lead to happiness.
Try to surround yourself with positive people. Be that positive person. Don't be a joy-sucker.
Let by-gones be by-gones. Insofar as possible, forgive others, while being wise.
Be forward looking. Look to the future expecting good things.
Help someone.
Give a compliment.
Smile.
Last, do things because you are healthy, not to make you healthy.
When you are active, be like a child who is active because it is what a child does. And as you are active and receptive, you will be less inclined to think or act differently.
I have a dear friend who is up to 7 miles a week on his bike after a severe biking accident. Not only is he demonstrating increasing health, but he is expressing health every day. You rock!
Here's a Bible promise I try to take to heart
Job 11: 17 And thine age shall be clearer than the noonday; thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning.
18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.
19 Also thou shalt lie down, and none shall make thee afraid;
And what do you think about all this?
Do you know older men or women whose spirit shines through, and they are beautiful, whether conventionally or not? What makes them beautiful? Is it that you love them?
Who is the most beautiful older person you know?
My Chinese friend tells me that the Chinese believe that you become beautiful if you surround yourself with beauty. That's not that difficult!
And I want you to know that I always find something of interest in Allure. I am not down on Allure.
Karin
Originally posted 2009-03-29 12:58:29.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This was a wonderful article for you to write. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks, Phyrra!
Karin, this was a very insightful, beautifully written article! some of the most physically beautiful people I’ve ever met became quite unattractive the instant they opened their mouths; and some physically plain, unprepossessing people have become remarkably beautiful b/c of who they are, how they act and speak, and how they treat others and interact w/the world around them… true beauty is SO much more than worrying about wrinkles and grey hair!
I remember reading something when I was in my early teens, and it’s been my life’s aspiration ever since: “you can take no credit for beauty at 16, but if you are beautiful at 60 it is your soul’s own doing”
thx again for such a great post!
*MWAH!*
Tanya
Thanks, Tanya. I like that saying!
I think I’ve heard it something like this: at 20 you have the face God gave you, at 60 the face you deserve.
Ouch! I can’t find the actual quote, but if I do, I’ll correct it here.