Years ago I read a book by Christian author Joyce Landorf Irregular People
As I remember it, at the time it didn't offer me a lot of new insights, but I loved the title of the book, as it gave me a kind of humorous handle on thinking about difficult people or situations.
A recent New York Times article delves into the same topic: Help, I'm surrounded by jerks and the plethora of books that deal with the subject now.
But in an age when no problem goes unacknowledged or unaddressed, living with such people is no longer the only choice. Stephanie Rosenbloom
Having somebody who is really difficult can actually be good for the workplace.If everyone really hates this one person, it becomes the basis of social bonding for the rest of the group. Jo-Ellen Pozner, a researcher in the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern.
Are there more jerks today or are we only more sensitive to them? Are we simply less willing to put up with them? Those are the $64,000 questions.
Is it possible they might be us, LOL.
Hmmm, does a jerk ever recognize they are one? or do they know and they are just being intentional about it, because they can get away with it or are bullies and no one has stood up to them, or whatever?
Karin
Originally posted 2007-01-25 09:18:26.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
The book was an aha moment for me, but as I remember it , she didn’t offer hope for your irregular person to change. Last week I blew up at mine and as a result she changed. Wouldn’t have thought it possible.
My favorite book for negotiating thorny relationships is David augsburger’s “Caring Enough to Confront.” in it he In it he introduces concept of “carefrontation” that helps conflict scooters and contributes to sit the difference. Gotta love those Mennonites. They have gift of creative/effective reconciliation.
It’s been a long time since I read the book, and yes, as I remember it, she doesn’t offer change for the irregular person — maybe more often than not that is the case.
But confronting at the right time in the right way can bring surprising change (maybe just in ourselves not to put up with it) — maybe it takes enough guts to do it too.
It’s great you saw change!
These are good questions. I wish everyone could ask themselves…
Here is a book I have found to be useful (I like the title, too): Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People, by Mark Rosen
http://tinyurl.com/6knlb9f
I like that title too (though I haven’t read it)! It sounds like it might be a good one.