When I entered into adopting from China, I wondered if my Chinese children would ever resent the time frame in which they were born. I figured that the door to China would close, likely sooner rather than later. And they were caught up in a specific time frame.
In many respects it is a different program than it was when I began. We were told we would have our first Chinese child in 4 mos. But it took me 4 mos to gather my paperwork (as fast as humanly possible)…and that put us squarely into the first slow down.
I figured sooner or later there would be an imbalance in girls and that would make girls a valuable resource (they are anyway…and even in China they are considered to hold up half the sky…hence the Half the Sky foundation’s name)…and then things would change more or less in a hurry.
And, in case you didn’t know, there are boys available to adopt in China. Our second agency has brought home many boys.
It is a misnomer to think that Chinese people do not love their girls. They do. Many of the things that are said as throw-away phrases are not true. I always want to ask people if they have ever been to China. Most times they have not.
What is a necessity for them, and down through the ages, is to have a boy. In olden days, girls would marry into a neighboring village and her family would likely never see her again. She became, literally, part of her husband’s family. Boys were expected (and still are) to support their parents in old age. There is no social security system to fall back on. Girls are now beginning to take that place in their families also.
This article details a riot.
It is interesting to note that many grown adoptees from other countries do resent that they were adopted, while at the same time they love their adoptive families they grew up in. (Not always.) Korean adoption began as a specific ’solution’ to the Korean War…and here we are 50 some years later — Korean adoption is still on-going. Many KADs (Korean ADoptees) feel as though they are an export item, sold by their countries. And that adoption is a money making business by agencies and governments. If it were not for adoptive families standing in line with money (causing the problems) then governments would have to find other solutions, including acceptance of unwed mothers.
Likely they are correct.
And likely my own girls will feel this way. (I would, if I were in their shoes.)
Karin
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