Savvy Thinker » What were they thinking

Baby selling in China

Karin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:18:36 +0000

What a tragedy for all the babies and their birth families. While I was aware of baby selling in parts of the world when I adopted from China, 10 and 12 years ago, I didn't believe it happened in China at the time I adopted. Who knows how much of it went on in those days.

Where there is money to be made illicitly, there always seems to be some degree of greed/need. But there is no thought given to the innocents in this, to the babies. Will they reunite them with their families? will any families come forward?

Tragic that families feel the need to sell their children or are swindled into doing so.

Every child deserves a loving family, but in this world it doesn't always happen. Let us work and pray for a more equitable world, for the safety and health of children everywhere, so that no child is separated from their family, from necessity or neglect or scandal, and can grow into their selfhood unencumbered and in joy. So let it be.

Karin

Henan police break up alleged baby-trafficking ring

By Chen Qian | 2009-1-8 | ONLINE EDITION

HENAN Province railway police caught 11 suspects of an alleged baby-trafficking ring after finding seven infants less than one month old taken onto a train.

The seven infants were girls. They were saved by police at Zhengzhou Railway Station in Henan. The girls are now at a social welfare home in the city, Xinhua news agency reported today. Two more suspects are still at large, police said.

Police were suspicious of eight women with infants at the railway station on October 21, Xinhua said. Police couldn't understand their dialect so they stopped them for questioning.

They soon confessed the infants were not their babies and they were taking them to Shandong Province for sale. Four of the suspects are Guizhou Province natives and four are from Yunnan Province, the report said.

The alleged leader Long Fang confessed to police that she asked her in-law Liu Yongqiong to buy babies in October. Liu later contacted a man surnamed Huang and three other suspects to purchase infants in Yunnan.

Liu and Huang remain at large.

Long purchased five infants for 14,600 yuan (US$2,147) in mid October and organized five women to transport them to Shandong, where her accomplice Zhang Li was waiting for the babies, the report said.

Six suspects took a train from Guiyang in Guizhou Province and met two other accomplices half way. The pair had two babies they purchased for 8,000 yuan in Guizhou. They arrived at Zhengzhou Railway Station on October 21 and planned to take a bus to Shandong with the others, the report said.

After catching eight women in Zhengzhou, police caught five more suspects in Shandong, Yunnan and Guizhou in the following three weeks. Among them, 11 have been detained and two are still being investigated, according to the report.

Originally posted 2009-03-20 19:11:15.

Online Stores

Tamping down prejudices

Karin — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:56:21 +0000

I don't think there is a single soul walking around who doesn't have some prejudices. Maybe our prejudices serve to keep us safe -- or maybe we think they do anyway. Or maybe they come out of life's experiences. Who knows. I suppose we fall into two categories: those who drop prejudices over time or those whose prejudices settle in more pronounced.

I was interested in what Sandra Bullock says about her husband who hosts cable-TV Monster Garage, sports a bunch of tattoos and knows his antiques.

I assumed he was a homophobic chauvinist, a bigot who killed people. And later I felt saddened by my assumptions because I wondered how many times had I written off people who truly were real. Sandra Bullock

I hope I'm overcoming a few of my own too. How about you?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-02-21 10:25:41.

Online Stores

One decision away

Karin — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:40:26 +0000

Reading Leap!: What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives? makes me think we could all be one decision away from a more interesting life or at least a changed one.

Of course, I already did this with two Chinese adoptions. Never in my life did I ever think that was in the offing until it was.

It's interesting to me to see how many things are out there, if we knew of them or were willing to follow our bliss, take the risk(s).

Of course, many of the people she interviews in her book are very capable of doing most anything. They have made (and maybe lost) fortunes because of their ability to look at life creatively. They haven't lived a straight line yet, so why would they into the sunset years? Money is not necessarily a problem in choosing anything. OTOH, some live interesting lives and have never had much money, they just think outside the box.

The important thing (not things) might be either to look before leaping...or take the leap and go where it leads.

I suppose I have a tendency to be or do a bit of both. I don't know that I'd leap without thought, but some leaps seemingly come together without thought, while a whole lifetime of decisions has led up to that leap.

She asks the question, if you are going to live another 30 years, what are you going to do?

I'm open to a lot of things, but I don't know that I'll ever be at a point to do them. And then doing them, perhaps it would be bliss or it would be: what the heck was I thinking, LOL. I always say, nothing is written in stone; you can always make another decision.

How about you? will you leap? are you leaping? do you even consider it? (somehow it reminds me of Star Trek...beam me in, Scotty.)

What would you do if you could do anything? would you do what you are doing now?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-06-16 14:21:43.

Online Stores

Dear Abby’s column two days ago about revealing secret adoption

Karin — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 22:45:15 +0000

A couple of days ago, Dear Abby's column had a question from an aunt to a 50-something, asking if she should tell her niece she was adopted, since her sister, the woman's adoptive mother had kept it a secret was now dead. Dear Abby's answer was an unequivocal "yes"...I suppose I would have added, you know the dynamics of the family, and what it might mean. Ultimately it is your decision (and perhaps she already knows.)

I tend not to give advice for other people. How are you going to open a conversation that should have been opened 50 years earlier by someone else? I would not want to be in that position.

That said, it's hard to believe at one time it was counseled not to tell children that they were adopted. (And I do know at least one family today who has not told.)

I remember a few times being asked in a Chinese restaurant by one of the servers if I was going to tell my daughter. Then she realized how silly she sounded and just kind of waved her hands at us (because it would be obvious to any observer)...but another server in another restaurant couldn't believe she was adopted because she felt we looked alike, and we kinda, sorta do sometimes in the right light, at least at that time...

It's hard not to tell when it is so obvious, but it really is the adopted person's right to know their history and their genetics.

I think we will see big changes in counsel regarding telling (v. not telling) about donated eggs and sperm and embryos...and...

It's a brave new world out there with a whole lotta choices there didn't use to be. Not all of them are going to turn out hunky-dory. And we are on the cutting edge. That, of course, makes it harder for the children too, as they are walking a path hitherto unknown.

It's easier, in some ways, to be adopted if you look like your family, because it isn't the first thing people discern about you. Though for some adoptees there is a constant disconnect, whether one'sappearance fits or not. Some transracial adoptees say that sometimes they don't want to be taken to college by their parents, for instance, because at college no one knows them and they have the opportunity, for once in their lives, to be seen separate from the adoption issue, unless they wish to tell it.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-02-02 08:28:53.

Online Stores

Conquering the mountain

Karin — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 08:07:59 +0000

What an idiot! I'm laughing here, because obviously the guy knows what he is doing. My question is why.

It's not what you think. He isn't mountain climbing. He's descending the mountain at umpteen mph on roller blades and wheeled knee and arm pads. Alrighty then!

I suppose you'd call this an extreme sport, and maybe we have others like him to thank for setting aside limitations that the rest of us know would be foolhardy for us.

And maybe it is safer than risking one's life to actually help someone in danger. But the latter seems like a 'better' way to risk life and limb, if there is such a thing. Or maybe, the sheer joy of this makes it completely worthy of doing. Yikes!

I kept thinking of the motorcyclist being overtaken and passed by this guy. Seems like it would be startling to see something out of James Bond hurtle towards and around you. Or one of the drivers coming up the mountain.

Does it endanger anyone else? Do we need to take other people's fears and attitudes into account?

At any rate, it is exhilarating to watch. I, frankly, would be an idiot to even contemplate it.

I think this could be used for a movie stunt!

What do you think?

Karin

Originally posted 2009-12-02 08:55:18.

Online Stores

Cosmetics for Un femme d’un certain age

Karin — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 14:02:09 +0000

Have you ever noticed
...that most makeup blogs (and images) are written by younger women...

...that advertising shows young women, even if they are advertising a product for an older woman, 90% of the time or more... What's up with that!

What if you fall outside the youth category, but you still have a lot of good years left!
...the short answer: find what works for you...

...if you intuitively know that something isn't working, be satisfied only when you figure out how to tweak it...

...ask MUAs, ask SAs, ask your hair stylist...

...ask a woman on the street if you love her look what makeup she is using or who cuts her hair or does her color...ask her what color she uses...

Colors
The older you are, the more it matters what colors you wear on your face or on your body. While you could get away with it when you were younger, you can't any longer. Wrong colors are no longer forgiving.

Warm or Cool colors
Find out if you look best in warm or cool colors. Most neutrals are also either warm or cool. So, for example, one gray or brown might be good on you; another not so good.

Softer or deeper
Because your skin tone changes some -- it might become pinker, asher or sallower -- you might need to go softer, brighter or deeper in your makeup colors to balance your skin tones better. You might need a darker or brighter lipstick -- or the opposite, one that is softer and more neutral. Same for your blush and shadows.

Hair color and style
Taking care of your hair will take years off your look. Keep your style in style.

If you color your hair, be sure to really look at yourself. Check the crown area. You might need to color more often. While you could get away with roots when you were younger, they aren't flattering now. Truthfully, they weren't flattering then either, but they are less so now. Or if you are quite white and your color washes out, you might need to color to keep the tone. If you let your hair go white, keep it white, not yellowed.

If you are used to being blond, you might have to change the shade of blond to one with more gold for it to look best.

It never hurts to look at illustrations in magazines and ask your hair stylist for other ideas. If you want to choose something different, give it some serious thought and go to someone who is really talented.

Eyebrows
Eyebrows becoming white
If your eyebrows are coming in strong with white, they are likely becoming more wiry too. Brush them upwards, then trim them even across the top. Then brush them back into place again.

Color the white
You can do this with permanent coloring. Some coloring is made strictly for brows. You can use some of your hair color, if you are careful. Disclaimer: don't get it in your eyes.

An alternative is to use a brow mascara made to color brows. Here's one.

Revlon also makes one that is duo ended, one end having a brow pencil.

A friend uses the following Lancome one, but in a different color. It has made all the difference in her appearance. Her natural brows are almost black, but she has about 50-50 white. This covers perfectly and looks natural. The brush is different than a mascara brush and covers better. I would recommend Lancome's. The Revlon (in blond) is more of a gel fixative; I don't think it covers my small amount of white, which fortunately doesn't show.

Hands
Don't forget your hands. If you need to, use hand lotion. You can even use a mask on them (some are made specifically for hands). Moisturize your cuticles before they start to ravel. After they ravel, a few applications of cuticle cream will take care of it nicely. I usually use the back of my hand for facial product; then I rub the backs of both hands together to distribute whatever is left on my hands. That works!

Body
There comes a point when you need to moisturize your body. If you are especially dry, you can shower, but eliminate any soap products. Just use water, except for the places where you need soap.

Arbonne has a fabulous Body Serum and Body Lotion. It cures what ails you. The difference in my arms is remarkable. Whereas before, my arms were moisturized, they felt like there was product on them. Now, my arms are moisturized, but it feels as if my skin can breath.

Contact Book Girl, if you are interested and do not have a consultant.

Use sunscreen and limit time in the sun
'Nuf said.

Teeth
Make sure your teeth are clean.

Bleach them with a drugstore product or at your dentist. All those years of coffee, tea and simply years do not have to show up on your teeth.

Change your products with the weather or by location
You will likely need more moisture in winter months than in summer. And if you go from a place with high humidity to a place with low humidity, you will need more moisture. The reverse is true also. If you go from a dry area to a humid area, you can use a lotion instead of a cream, for instance. Or simply use a little less product. Some products are considered smart products -- they deliver only what your skin needs at the moment. If you fly, moisturize your skin during the flight.

Think about tweaking your products depending on life stresses
We all know about skin break outs with stress or time of the month. Be proactive. If you are in a particularly stressful situation, take better care of yourself than you might on an ordinary day. It never hurts to be good to yourself. Change your moisturizer to one that defends against breakouts or that will give you added moisture. You know yourself and what you need.

Smile
If you look happy, you will draw people to you, and they will notice your happiness, especially if the rest of you matches the same image and doesn't get in the way of your smile.

What have you changed in your makeup or style as you have gotten older?
Have fun with it, and remember to be happy! Experiment a little; you might love it!

Karin
www.savvythinker.com
don't steal my posts -- you know who you are

Originally posted 2009-08-24 13:51:47.

Online Stores

Airbrushing celebrities

Karin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 08:12:11 +0000

In case you ever wondered how much airbrushing takes place in the unreal real world, you might like to see this.

It's apparent that what sells to the public, whether it is advertising or not, is the perfect version of the imperfect woman. It sort of reminds me of the Stepford Wives.

And then some regular folks (and celebrities) feel the need to live up to that.

But even movie stars with presumably mega-$$$ have yellow teeth on the big screen. Sometimes it gets in the way of the acting.

I know that it's possible to get good pictures minus airbrushing, given the right light and a good photographer. We had some wonderful pictures taken where we all looked our very best because the photographer had a gift for knowing how to pose us.

I think it also helps to have digital photos because you can tell immediately if you've got the picture you hoped for.

I can understand why a person would want to be the one choosing which images of his/herself are the ones that are released. After all it is their image, in one sense, even if it was taken by someone else.

I looked at a fashion blog last night, and I wondered who was taking the photos. It was obvious the person photographed was not, so who was? I wish they had said. The creativity between the blogger and the photographer was exceptional. This was a function of the blogger being easy to photograph and being creative in their clothing choices, as well as the partnership with the photographer who knew how to capture the images. I doubt there was any airbrushing, but then again, the blogger is 19.

I think the photos and blog could catapult the blogger into modeling, if that is her desire. It's another example of being able to market oneself outside the way it was done in years past. The Social Media Revolution again.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com
don't steal my posts -- you know who you are!

Originally posted 2009-09-11 07:38:51.

Online Stores

We need a hero — ethics in adoption

Karin — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 23:40:57 +0000

We thought we had done everything we could to ensure an ethical adoption, yet here we are parenting children who have been stolen and sold. Anonymous poster at IAT, with permission, known to me

The first step is being willing to look at reality and not blink or wink and own it as reality, even if it's painful. The next step can't be taken until we do the first. And get angry and upset and passionate about what we see. (and not deciding instead to more comfortably stick our heads back down in the sand).

The next step is asking what can be done, figuring it out concretely, and then applying all of our many, many talents to the task of making a difference.

Desiree at IAT, with permission

I consider Desiree and her husband David modern day heroes in the fight for ethics in adoption. I will ask her to share some of what she and her husband are doing here at my blog. And I have also asked her how we can muster the forces and resources at IAT in the fight.

For those of us who have no specifics about the background of our children, we can hope (and did hope) for ethical adoptions, but any one of us might be surprised. It behooves us to support the fight.

I put this in the section, What the hell were they thinking, not to fault the adoptive families/parents, but to point out those who perpetrate evils.

Please also, replay the song, I need a hero/Holding out for a hero that I posted a day ago.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-02-03 18:57:34.

Online Stores

India

Karin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:15:15 +0000

In her book Leap!: What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives? Sara Davidson also heads to India. She knows some Boomers are living in India; some are living in Ashrams in India (and one long time Ashram dweller decides to leave the Ashram); and some are volunteering in India.

She goes to India to volunteer, teaching English in an orphanage, because of an interesting interview with Ed Wayne, an American Jew, who has retired from the oil business but uses his money in Belgrade to get things done. Because he can; because he can do things without red tape or government interference; because his interpretation of "never again" is "never again for anybody.'

Along the way, she goes to an Ashram and to another Ashram that someone tells her she must go to.

She also meets a sculptor who ships his things back home after he sculpts in India.

Anyway, her volunteer trip is definitely not 5* and she changes the names to protect the innocent. It is the trip from hell in many ways, not necessarily so much where she is or the accommodations, though they are very primitive, but the folks she associates with who are volunteering.

I have never been to India and I haven't volunteered over seas. Have you?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-06-16 14:08:54.

Online Stores

Do you find this ad offensive?

Karin — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 21:03:42 +0000

Does this ad offend your sensibilities or do you find it clever?

A German lingerie firm, Liaisons Dangereuse, has an ad featuring Middle Eastern music, a beautiful, thin, dark haired woman, stepping out of the shower, discretely naked, getting dressed in Liaisons Dangereuse black lingerie including garter belt and high heels, no other clothes, then putting on a niqab, similar to a burka. "Sexiness is for everyone."

And, of course, the shock factor from sexy lingerie to niqab is carrying this ad around the world. The company is getting a lot of free advertising.

My take
An observant Muslim woman would likely never allow herself to be photographed in such a manner, I wouldn't think. (I have Muslim friends.)

Sure, we who are not Muslim tend to think wearing a niqab or burka is because of the regulations of men. In some cases, it likely is, but being circumspect or modest in dress is something honored by many, religious or not. I have friends who are equally circumspect who are Mormon and religious Jews.

It just feels disrespectful to me.

What do you think?
Does this make you want to rush right out and buy this lingerie -- or the opposite?

Is there another way the lingerie could be marketed to Muslim women? Or do you think this ad is not appealing to Muslim women at all, but rather to others?

In a perfect world, would you like to see more respect of varying beliefs? I wish to honor the spiritual journey of others, not denigrate it, as I feel this ad does. Is nothing sacred?

Karin

Online Stores