Apres Vous is a romantic comedy that takes place in Paris. The DVD is subtitled in English, at least here in America.
In a way, it is similar to Ratatoille, only not animated. A lot of the action centers around an up-scale restaurant in Paris. Things get complicated when Antoine (Daniel Auteuil) (he was nominated for a Cesar for best actor), the headwaiter, takes a shortcut, scaling the gate, through the park late one night. (I was trying to figure out what park, and if I’d ever been there.) He is late to meet his girlfriend, and he is about to be even later. In a humorous scene, filled with pathos, he saves Louis (Jose Garcia) from hanging himself.
This random act of kindness snowballs into more, when he takes Louis home; doesn’t tell his girlfriend the whole of it; and eventually gets Louis a job in his own restaurant in a funny scene in which Louis is clearly out of his element during the job interview.
The same night he rescues Louis, Louis remembers he sent his grandparents a suicide note. Antoine and Louis take an all night road trip to intercept the letter. But the letter has already been delivered. The grandmother is a hoot, and Antoine reads her his version of the letter. (It would have been fun to know the whole of what the other letter said. I could catch a lot, but I suspect it is even funnier than I knew.) The grandmother is to blame for a lot of it. I bet the actress had fun with this role!
Louis is despondent, because his love for Blanche (Sandrine Kiberlain) was not reciprocated. Louis is just strange enough — and funny enough, since you know this is a comedy — that it makes you wonder how anyone would take him home without being afraid. And make no mistake, he is strange. But against all odds, he manages to conquer the restaurant, strange or not.
Later Antoine finds Blanche, saves her from a disastrous fast-approaching marriage, and falls for her in a big way. He tries to leave the field open for Louis, but there are pitfalls in the way. And the better Louis seems to be, the more Antoine has followed in Louis’ footsteps by being unable to function.
It has a believable and satisfying ending. There are many, many funny scenes, where people just miss each other — or run into each other — scenes in the restaurant; the restaurant owner; scenes in the kitchen of the restaurant; etc.
By the time we had watched half the movie I was picking up a lot of French phrases again. In some cases I know it was subtitled perfectly. In other places I know the subtitles were not complete or were translated easier than it would have been if you knew the language. Scenes in the restaurant, with people talking in the background are not subtitled, but you’d catch the words if you were French-speaking. Same goes for the songs played during the soundtrack, the words are not translated.
Have you seen it? I give it a 3.
Karin
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I think respite care begins with ourselves. We have to know (or seek to know) what we need, then take some steps, even baby steps, to find space in our lives for respite. We need to ask and let others know, if we need it.
Respite care is talked about in the adoption community, for some children have needs (or problems) greater than one or two parents could fulfill or even handle. It can be very tricky finding any kind of care, and it sometimes involves residential care for the child/teen.
Respite care is likely also talked about in other communities of folks dealing with specific health issues or other.
Of course, there are other kinds of caregiving and caregivers, but the bulk of caregiving still falls on a woman’s shoulders, whether she is caring for her or her spouse’s parents, for a child, a house, or for her husband.
The need to call 911 can be life defining whether it involves something as ’simple’ as lift support or as complex as emergency care or transport.
A friend writes:
I guess we don’t really understand how much we need people until there’s a crisis. Without the health issues [that some face with their husbands], I’m having the same feelings about my husband. I don’t think I’ve ever been so solicitous or considerate of him as I’ve been these last two months since he took this new job. Maybe __________’s husband is seeing what I’m seeing- just how much he needs her.
Meanwhile, I think that we get caught up in the non-reality of a situation and don’t really grok what exactly is going on. That was true on the street in NYC when I almost lost our son while my husband went to get the wheelchair. We didn’t seem to have much of a clue. I think that could be said for another friend and her son, that the surreal-ness of the experience at the end there had so overwhelmed them, created a disbelief and an inability to actually SEE what was going on. I think calling 911, for the average person, is an act of huge significance. We are taught to be so polite and to ask for little, not to take up too much space.
I’m currently reading Inner Peace for Busy Women
by Joan Borysenko. I’m a little put off by the cutsy green ink, but I like what she writes about, and it is another book that I will own.
I was surprised to find a chapter on caregiving. Again, I borrowed this book from the library, as I’m reading several of her books having just ‘found’ her as an author.
She writes:
On a trip to India in the 1980s, I spent a few weeks in a small village, where a schizophrenic woman, talking to herself continually with great agitation, lived under a large banyan tree. Different villagers visited her every few hours, brought food, and cared for all her needs. But most of us no longer live in extended families of close-knit communities where such care is common. We live neither in the welcoming shelter of a banyan tree, nor in the warm embrace of one another. Those who do reap significant benefits as far as health and peace of mind are concerned. p 141
I think especially this phrase stood out to me: warm embrace of one another. I suspect many of our homeless have been left to fend for themselves now that they have been de-institutionalized, but there wasn’t another embrace for them, nor a way to be sure they were sound enough to care for themselves wisely.
Contrast the scene in the Indian village with a trip my then 11 year old daughter and I took to Paris about 10 years ago. We were surprised to find in the heat of summer, in a new hotel, there was no air conditioning. Our first room was in the back among sheltering trees and whether it was hot or not, the trees made the heat bearable. Through the night there was a woman who yelled continually, but there was no traffic noise. It was impossible to sleep. At some point, a man yelled out the French equivalent of SHUT UP! The next day we moved to the front of the hotel, no trees, with tremendous road noise right up until about 3 am when it quieted down until about 5 am, and not a breath of air, but the sounds of the traffic muffled any noises she was making. I saw her on the street at one point later in the day. I think I prayed for her just about the whole night.
We could learn a lot from societies such as India. How many of us would long for a banyan tree, for the warm embrace of another to help us get through?
Take the time to figure out, if you can, what would nurture you, if you are care giving. Often it comes in unexpected ways, if we are open to it.
Karin
The Lord is my care-giver
written for all those in need of care and for all those who are giving it
Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.
Psalm 23 and Luke 10:25-37
The Lord is my caregiver; I will not fear.
How precious is this thought: that He cares for me!
I love the parable of the Good Samaritan –
its gentle message stands forever,
as the epitome of God’s own care:
the wounded left for dead by thieves in certain dread
the passersby who left him for their own chagrin
the neighbor true who bound the wounds, though not a Jew
the hotelier who offered place in which to find embrace
the simple ease with which the wounded had release
the money found to deal with every round
the needs all met by tender ministration in this vignette.
The mercy of the Lord is shown in ever-sweet accord:
whether I am care-giver or care-receiver,
I will not fear that I am alone, or that I will be uncared for.
The presence of the Lord ensures my care.
He enables care to be given that is not a burden.
He brings the care I need so I have intercede.
Both care-giver and care-receiver are in His plan.
O Lord, I give this care to You, for I know
that You are both my care-taker and my care-giver.
With You, I know that my burden is easy, for You are there.
Help me to appreciate my neighbor: each one to know as he is known.
Help me to see myself as You are seeing: forever in the care that You have shown.
Surely care-giving and care-receiving have followed me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in His mercy, well-cared for everyday, forever. (c)
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