I’m happy to share this online interview with Jane Porter. She was gracious to spend some time with us. I think you’ll agree that she is a voice we’d like to hear more of.
Jane, I so much enjoyed your book Flirting with 40, and I’m really looking forward to it being a movie! Thanks so much for joining us today.
I understand you have options on another book(s)? I have a friend who has had options also. It’s quite exciting to see it come to fruition on screen. Did you write the script or have any say in the script?
Hi Karin, thanks for inviting me! It’s a pleasure to chat with you. I didn’t write the script. Sony contracted a scriptwriter for the job and she did it beautifully. I was lucky enough to get a peek at it while it was in progress and it was really cool to be included, even briefly, in the process.
The whole book-to-movie experience is great. I spent a week on the set in Hawaii and had a lot of fun. I got to be an extra in beach scenes on two different days, and then wear a headset and sit behind the director and listen in as they filmed. I have to say that it’s been a bit surreal having a movie made of my book, especially starring Heather Locklear.
Were you able to give any input into the casting?
I was asked for suggestions so I got my readers who hang out on my board to help me. We had lots of fun coming up with possibilities but in the end, it was really up to the studio. I n the end it was great that Heather could take the role as she’s a Lifetime viewer favorite.
How did you find yourself writing in the genre that you write in? How did you become an author?
I wrote my first story in pre-school. I was four or five and I’ve written stories ever since. My father was a professor and he wrote-and my mother loved literature and was already reading to us-so writing seemed natural to me. I thought all kids sat down and made up stories, and growing up my favorite books featured girls who wrote as well like Jo from Little Women or Laura from the Little House on the Prairie.
I chose to write stories that appeal to women – that are about women and real life because it’s a topic that fascinates me the most. I love women. I think we women have to be compassionate towards each other, but also ourselves and being a teacher, I just found it easy to write stories that encourage and support each other.
What is your favorite type of romance to read? Is it the same as what you write?
I love historical and paranormal romances! I was on a Mary Balogh binge for a few months, and because I go on binges I’ll read as much as I can by a particular author and then rotate authors to get a new style. Some of my favorite authors this past year include JR Ward, Loretta Chase, Mary Balogh, and Anna Campbell. Outside romance I read everything I can by Marian Keyes, although Watermelon is probably still my favorite. One of my favorite books I’ve read this year is Seeing Me Naked by Liza Palmer. It’s wonderful and I highly recommend it.
I notice that you have a book title contest. That’s fun! Have you done this before? I often wondered whether it was the author that titles a book or the printing house.
They are fun! I’ve done them before and it’s always interesting to see what titles everyone comes up with for the same story. Unfortunately as an author, I don’t really have much say in the title but the publisher asks for input and that’s my purpose for hosting the title contest. I want ideas and suggestions and I send them all to my editor once they come in and after that, it’s out of my hands. Marketing has the final say on titles because they know exactly what has better chances o selling the book.
How do you decide character names?
Sometimes the names just pop into my head as I think of the story and I know it’s the right one. Other times, it takes some time and inventive research to find the right name to fit the right character.
What advice do you have for others who are interested in writing?
As with anything, don’t give up. Don’t accept defeat. Keep learning, keep applying what you learn about the craft, about the world, about you to the story. Writing is a muscle and requires muscle. Learning to write well takes time. It’s like hitting the gym to build a bicep. You only get a better, stronger muscle by working it. Well, the same is true for writing. Of course good writers make it look easier than it is so don’t be discouraged if you have to write and rewrite.
What are some challenges in writing romance? Any particular genre of romance more difficult to pull off? What kind of research do you do, if any? Is there anything you wish you’ve seen in a romance novel — and are you writing it for us?
I love writing romance and find it very rewarding as love really does make the world go round. I don’t know if one genre is harder than another to pull off. I’m fascinated by them all and enjoy researching for my Harlequin Presents. I tend to read lots of historical accounts, biographies, travel logues, travel books, cook books, and magazine articles when outlining and planning a new book. I want to know as much as I can about a country and culture and the conflicts between men and women in that culture. Obviously a sheikh from Dubai will have a different way on interacting with women than an American or an Italian. The climate is different in every country, as are the foods and customs and I don’t just want to write a ‘romance’, I want to write a rich layered fantasy that seduces the reader and the senses.
I prefer personally to read a more emotional, intense romance. I love deep conflict and angst and sensual love scenes but those love scenes must come out of the character’s emotion and conflict, not just stuck on top. Great writers are writing these books and I’m just lucky I’m able to read them!
Do you ever get writer’s block? If so, how do you handle it? What do you find difficult, if anything, about writing? And what do you like the best?
I don’t believe in writer’s block. I see difficulties in writing related more to craft or knowledge, or sometimes physical fatigue. Sometimes I make a mistake writing a story which leads me to a dead-end. I won’t know I’ve taken a wrong turn until I can’t seem to move the story forward, or if I’ve begun to make a series of wrong decisions. Then I just end up in a muddle and I won’t write for awhile until I figure out where I went wrong.
The most difficult part of writing for me is the time alone, and also the wear and tear on the body from sitting in one place so long and typing like mad for hours. I have to be sure to get lots of exercise when I’m writing hard as the days tend to be long and it’s easy to get carpal tunnel like symptons in my wrist and elbow.
Was it difficult to get published? How did you find your agent?
It was hard. Lots of hard work – but totally worth it. It took me fifteen years to sell my first book. I had over twelve rejected manuscripts before I finally sold my first book in January 2000. I actually write for two publishers–very different stuff–and since January 2000 I have written and sold 30 novels. It’s been an a lot of work but I’m living my dream. I’m read around the world. I’m published in over twenty-five countries and nineteen languages. I even have Sony and Lifetime making a movie out of one of my books (Flirting with Forty). This is why I didn’t quit. I wanted to see if I could do it. I wanted to know I could achieve it. I wanted to prove that anything is possible.
Do you work on deadlines now? How long does it usually take you to write a book?
Yes. I think every writer’s life revolves around deadlines. We just have to develop a system to handle them as works best for us.
I try to plan in advance as much as possible and then block out time. If I know I’m on deadline for a book, the last 4-6 weeks will be grueling with 10-18 hour days at the computer so before and after I block out dedicated mom time, time where I don’t need the sitter over, and I plan a fun trip or weekend activity with the boys. Same thing for my social life. Once I’ve been freed from my deadline, I try to catch up with girl friends and have coffees and lunch as when I’m writing hardcore I literally only leave my house to take kids to school and sport events. When the pressure is on me, everything falls away but work and kids.
What about bedroom scenes? What makes a good one? (I know I’ve been turned away from books where it was crude.)
These can be tricky and I can read things I can’t write, but I’m writing fewer love scenes than I used to. I think we all know what sex is and in a book where there isn’t a lot of emotion a love scene reminds me of a game of Twister–right hand on yellow dot, left foot on blue–so for me, the love scene must not just be about physical desire and physical pleasure but the emotional, psychological and spiritual connection between the two.
How do you define love?
Love validates the self. Love makes one feel important and valued and real. Which is why I like to write about all kinds of love in my books–not just romance, but love between friends, sisters, parents and children. Love really does make the world go round.
What do you hope your readers will gain from your books?
As I touched on above , I write about women, for women. If we want the world different for our daughters we have to be the ones to demand change and although I have boys not girls, I want the world different for all the little girls coming after me. I want to be strong, powerful, courageous and encourage children to be the same. We should teach our girls to be brave and encourage them to face discrimination and talk about what makes us hurt and what makes us hope and make sure that we’re part of the decision making. It’s important girls understand that life’s hard, sometimes very hard, but it’s also gorgeous and fascinating, challenging, rewarding and complex and that there will be times life is going to smack you and hurt you and knock you to your knees but you can get up. Falling down won’t break you. Falling down is just part of getting stronger and smarter and more compassionate. Falling and failing happen to all of us. And this is why I write. I want women to know what it’s taken my forty years to figure out–that life is only as good as you give, and you have to fight hard for what you want, including fighting for happiness. We all deserve love, joy, freedom, peace and respect. We all deserve the good stuff but the good stuff doesn’t just fall into our laps. We’re going to have to work for it.
What do you do to relax and get away from writing? I’m sure you find ideas all around you! Is there something that really gets you away from it all?
When not writing, I read, and travel. Love to travel, be with my kids, love new places and new experiences. I am always looking for a new adventure!
What are your hopes for the future?
More books, more time with friends, more travel, and hopefully, one more baby.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with us? When can we expect your next book?
I’m so glad you invited me to join you. This has been great fun. I always have lots of contests and conversations over on my website, www.janeporter.com, including info on my next book which is a July ‘09 release from 5 Spot. For the Harlequin fans, I’ll have another book out late in 2009 as well.
Thank you, Jane, for being here.
Jane has offered us a signed copy of Odd Mom Out, her September book which is the first of the two connected novels set in Bellevue. If you’d like to be included in this contest, leave a message here, and we will include you in this contest.
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I simply love this quote, not much else to add to that. I like it for me as both the parent and the child I once was, but still embody. I too had an excellent childhood, or at least a plenty-good-enough one, but I wasn’t taught the rest of this. I had to pick it up for myself in the parades of life. And I have to encourage my children in this direction.
As an adult, once when I was going through what might possibly have been a difficult situation, someone said to me to view it as if I were sitting in a parade stand. I should think of it as if I were (or had been) watching it pass by, not as if I were in it. I thought that was very helpful to remember. I had sort of felt that way at the time it was happening, not exactly removed from it, but not within it either. It helped me feel freer of any repercussions. And it seemed a kind of grace.
Karin
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If kvetching is second nature to you, I heard today of rubber bracelets to be worn to help you stop complaining. I guess even Oprah talked about it on her show. I’m behind in finding out about things.
It is worn on one wrist, until you complain, then you move it to the other wrist and begin to count again. The hope is to get to 21 days without changing wrists. Thankfully, it doesn’t register complaints in your mind, only spoken complaints.
And I don’t think it counts for legitimate complaints (though we should be honest with ourselves which are and which aren’t, LOL)
It’s spreading around the world. So far, more than 3.5 million have been ordered, going to 78 countries. If you want to read a story about it, go here; or to order bracelets and read more about it, go here.
See my later post on this here. I added pictures from this post below:
My bracelet
I thought about making a bracelet with the words No complaint, but for me, I wanted a positive reminder of what I hope to bring.
I was playing around with alphabet beads to see what letters I had to work with. It isn’t necessary to put much money into making a bracelet like these. I made two bracelets that I alternate wearing. If I find I really enjoy them, I will remake them in silver beads. I added crystals and carved beads to make them more interesting.
Create-Imagine-Appreciate
Bring Joy-Love-Pax
What do you do if you find yourself chronically complaining? What do you want to bring to situations? How do you keep resentments and complaints from sizzling?
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If you loved Harry Potter, be sure not to miss Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.
Book Girl and I went to the midnight showing last night, crazy people that we are. The medium sized theater was about 2/3 full.
But you can bet that the second movie, for there will surely be one, will pack in more than one theater in each complex.
First, I just really couldn’t get into the book(s). I read them. But couldn’t have told you what they were about. Then, I listened to parts of the audio books as Book Girl wended her way through all of them.
Ah, but the movie is a different sort. Immediately understandable. Highly entertaining. Great CGI. My only caveat is that the fight training scenes looked amateurish, which may have been the whole point.
The background
The author wrote these books to help his own son understand the gods. His son is both ADHD and dyslectic. So is Percy Jackson.
The story
Percy finds himself in the middle of a coming war between Zeus and Poseidon unless he can return Zeus’ lightening bolt, which he has been accused of stealing.
Not only did he not steal it, but he has no idea that he is a demi-god — the son of Poseidon and his human mother.
Three friends
Once again, we have three friends, similar to Harry Potter. Percy, Annabeth, and Grover play are older. Together they survive and conquer.
Special effects
The CGI will have you on the edge of your seat more than once.
The characters
Assorted gods, demi-gods, centaurs, satyrs, and humans, etc.
The actors
Pierce Brosnan plays a prominent part. I won’t give it away.
Brandon T. Jackson is Grover, Percy Jackson’s bodyguard. He adds a lot of humor to the story. In a way, he reminds me of the taxi driver in Total Recall.
Alexandra Daddario (Annabeth) plays a much more likable character than Kate in White Collar, USA Network’s television series that we love. She is the daughter of Athena and is also a demi-god.
Logan Lerman is perfect as Percy Jackson. I don’t know him from any other work.
Jake Abel is Luke and will feature in other films. He is the son of Hermes, and is also a demi-god.
Rosario Dawson plays Persephone. She is key to Percy’s survival.
And don’t forget Ulma Thuman as Medusa — she makes the part. And there is some comedy in it too.
My take
Definitely 4 out of 4 star.
I think I’d like to read the books now that I’ve seen the movie.
Some of the special effects might be too scary for young children on the big screen. OTOH, no one has seen creatures like these, so we don’t expect them in a dark alley — though I was watching the lights coming home at 2 am.
It’s definitely interesting to think that not so very long ago these gods and goddesses were believed and feared. I was wondering who thought of them in the first place, how did they evolve into a religion at the time.
I’ve been to Greece and seen what is left of the temples and thought of what they might have been like when brand new and people believed.
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Just when it seems like a bit of good news would be exceedingly welcomed, comes this true story (I’ve checked it with Snopes) about a woman hand feeding hummingbirds.
Isn’t it great that with the Internet we have a way to easily share these experiences that we might never hear about otherwise?!
Thanks to Cathy for sharing with me in the first place!
It’s a reminder to me that “God’s in his heaven; all’s right with the world.”
from “Pippa Passes”
The year’s at the spring
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hill-side’s dew-pearled
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn;
God’s in his Heaven -
All’s right with the world!
Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Is it possible that in these difficult times we could trust more deeply that God will feed and clothe us, as he does the birds and the lilies? Whether we are literally in need of food, shelter, clothing, water, health, employment or any of a myriad of other needs, the most basic need is for the ideas that will lead us in the right direction and out of limitation.
Ideas are always limitless! (This goes along with the short movie I posted earlier.)
Not too long ago while pondering how I should schedule my day, though my first inclination the night before had been to get on down the road and back home, I felt it was all right to meander a bit. In doing so, I had a number of interesting conversations with strangers, some welcome time with a friend, and a bit of fashion enjoyment, including some time with perfumes.
After I’d been back on the highway for a while, an electronic sign informed me of an accident 26 miles down the road. One lane was closed. (I learned later that it had only cleared about an hour before I got there.) If I had hurried my way home, I would have been stuck for hours while they cleared the road. I was able to get past it without any lost time.
Sometimes we do not know what we or others are protected from, but this time it was apparent. And it could have been far worse, but thankfully wasn’t. On this busy stretch of road, many more could have been involved in this accident but were not.
That’s just a small example of how ideas will clear our day for us. Expect ideas today and always that will help you!
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Stabilizing Your Life: How Long Will It Take?
Day 13
Each person’s recovery experience is unique, and there is no guarantee on how much time it will take until you feel whole again. Although you cannot be certain about the date, you can be certain about the healing, and in order to heal, you must take some specific steps. The first step, as we have said before, is to point yourself in the right direction. Second, make a commitment to moving forward. Third, acknowledge that what you are experiencing is normal. The fourth step is to understand that you must go through the recovery process.
“Let the pain run its course,” says Rob Eagar. “As humans we are so focused on wanting to feel good all the time. Then when hurt and pain come into our lives, we do anything to get rid of it. Understand that it is going to hurt for a while. Having that realization helped me to face my pain and to be able to say, ‘Okay, this is how it’s going to be.’”
An important part of your healing is based on your understanding that recovery is a process, and it is a process you must go through, despite the pain. http://www.divorcecare.org
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I learned through years of parenting that usually there is one of three things behind a child’s tantrum: either they need food, they need sleep or they need love.
That’s such a truism for life, really. When I have a hard day, it’s generally because I need some rest, but the other two factor in also.
It reminds me of the time Elijah was under the juniper tree. He’d just fled for his life after a seeming spiritual victory (but you note God didn’t tell him to do what he did). And there he was, exhausted, asking God to take away his life, he wasn’t any different than the others.
Did God do it?
Nope. First he had him sleep. Then he fed him. Then he appeared as the still, small voice and re-energized him. And he gave him a friend in the work, Elisha.
These three things are almost a spiritual law, and I bet the rabbis had a word for it.
What is there about food that represents all the good in life. Is it because it is such a basic need?
Not too long ago I watched a friend invite another to come over. I’ll fix you breakfast, she offered. In that simple offering was all the power of providing a few wings in a free fall.
The next time you have a hard day, ask yourself if you are missing one or all of these elements, then try to consciously give them to yourself.
And if you are dealing with a recalcitrant child or some other in your life, you’ll find these help also.
I laugh when I think of the truism: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. There’s a reason for that adage, and it applies to more than men.
I think there’s something about food disorders that gets back to the base line of love. If you struggle with this, know that you are loved and that you can love. You can rest in that.
10 reasons we might look better as we age I have noticed for myself, that there are times when I know I've aged -- and other times when I'm OK with it. Well, ya gotta be OK with it, within reason, because I want...
Last Chance Harvey I saw this movie last week. It was an enjoyable slice of life, well acted by its two veteran actors: Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman. This is not a romantic comedy; rather, I would call...
Life isn't fair, but it's still good This was an internet forward. I do not know if the attribution is correct. Enough of them hit the spot to pass them on. Karin Lessons for Life By Regina Brett The Plain Dealer, Cleveland...
Life can change in a moment College Girl just learned that one of her good friends died in an accident that also involved his brother and his girlfriend, both of whom are in intensive care. They are brothers of another good...
Love Tricks - Getting Your Ex Love Back Dealing with a break up is an emotional challenge that may leave scars for a long time, especially if you invested time and feeling in...
Player Profile: Tiger Woods Tiger Woods may be out of commission for the 2008 season, but he is never really out of mind. When he first burst onto the...
Moonies - The Original Truth of God Ever wonder what "The Moonies" actually believe? Before we go further, let's clarify that Unificationists, member of the church founded by Rev. Sun Myung Moon,...
Can he or can't he? : Keanu Reeves I have been a fan of Keanu Reeves ever since I saw Speed. I guess it is not a surprise, since he became the ultimate...
I know our son would tell you that his dad was the best. He gave his all and learned how to work the system to our son’s best advantage. He spent hours with him perfecting his basketball skills and worked with him to get him into the best college for him. This involved countless hours at ball games, making hours of demo tapes to take to college coaches, then taking him on a road trip to visit the coaches. All done for the sheer love of him.
Here’s another heartwarming story of a dad and son. I’m so glad they have the videos of Patrick Henry Hughes as a very young child! From an early age he showed musical ability which his father fostered.
Patrick Henry Hughes was born blind but plays in the University of Louisville pep band thanks to the aid of his father.
Patrick says that he feels blindness is not a disability, but being able to see is. He is not hampered, he says, by anyone’s appearance, their clothes or hair style. He’s sees the inner person. There are many videos of him on youtube. I have only shown a few of them here. I was unable to find one of him playing Amazing Grace at the Crystal Cathedral.
Comparing Mandragore to Bigarade Concentree Yesterday I decided to compare these two fragrances to answer Morticia from POL's question. Mandragore by Annick Goutal is characterized as Fresh, woody, elegant; Bergamot - mandrake - black pepper - ginger. I bought the...
KEM How did you find your way back into my life Kem has a beautiful voice. If you aren't familiar with his sound, he is sound-worthy. He is a Nigerian American R&B/soul singer, songwriter, and producer raised in Detroit, Michigan. Many of his songs deal with...
A convocation of eagles Robert Klose, as a single man, has adopted two sons, both from Russia, I believe. They were adopted separately a number of years apart and are now brothers. He has written extensively in essays for...
Review Vitus (movie) Vitus is a charming movie, full of love, and I highly recommend it, if you have not seen it already. It is a slice of life I'd like to return to more than once. Beautifully...
Spiritual Wounds The truth of physicality is the common sense of our culture, yet everyone ignores it as they busily manifest their spiritual wounds. Excess leading to...
Link roundup: Ukrop's edition I'm really thankful for little kindnesses. Ukrop's, a regional grocery store chain, has been great to us. After we found out our daughter had a...
Joseph Smith, Mormon Prophet I love that we have so many uplifting videos to share with our own families and all those around the world who are curious as...
It's Not About the Money The following guest post is from Ben of Money Smart Life. He graciously sent over this post when he learned of our family emergency in...
Mickey Mantle Sports -> Baseball Memorabilia When asked to list some of baseball’s greatest players, many people would list Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Ty Cobb, but...
Our paper chronicles today a woman who is 105. She looks good! They say she has a spark.
Here’s some highlights:
She began playing the drums at 12.
A neighbor says of her:
She’s an inspiration to me. I enjoy being in her company. I look forward to visiting her; we’re both happy to see each other. She is a very popular woman. People don’t forget her.
She says she doesn’t have a formula for long life…no magic to it…other than being blessed to be happy in her home life, happy in her marriage and determined to find beauty of some sort in everyone.
I just worship the Lord, try to help add positive things to people’s lives and try to find happiness in everyday life. Maurine Engel
Bless her! I want to be her when I grow up. “Determined to find beauty of some sort in everyone…” I hear her. She also says she enjoys being around young/er people.
Chinese adoptive child finds her family in China I was watching one about a young boy. But the one that finds her Chinese family is a 10 yr old girl. The video is in Dutch. Scroll down the left side to: spoorloos. The...
Costa Rica Have you ever noticed how things come together? if you are reading about it in one place, you see it in another? I've had that with a couple of things lately. One was Costa Rica;...
Trees, part 3 ...a divine dimension of life I thought this was one of the most beautiful metaphors/examples of the divine spark that shines through us all. I hope you enjoy it like I did. Karin I got up early one morning to...
Difficult birthdays Here's something that's been on my mind as I rocket towards Birthday #49. I am surrounded by women who are seriously younger than I am. These women are so young and their kids are barely...
Finding beauty People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty...
Getting Even (One Minus One Equals Zero) [/caption]I've always been amazed at how sloppy some people are when it comes to the Math of Life. One example is the concept of "getting...
Why Wait for That "Ideal" Weight? One of my goals has been to eat for health and not solely for looks. I must have forgotten this important goal because the other...
Wifey 101:Guys Are Clueless Sometimes So these past few days I have really enjoyed reading posts about what other people do or don't do for Valentine's day. There...
Sunday Money Madness: Bootacular Edition Happy early Halloween! Welcome to yet another edition of the Sunday Money Madness Roundup. I hope you enjoy the posts presented below. Start browsing! Debt...
MonaVie and the Placebo Effect There are times where people will give a testimony that MonaVie helped them with [medical condition X]. I assert that it is really impossible to...
To love is to approach each other center to center.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I just love this quote. It sounds so simple, but has such complexities.
In loving, there’s a certain sharing of the inmost being, not all at once, but by degrees, and the safety in which to unfold each other to each other.
The most vulnerable part of the body is the center, so to meet each other center to center is to make oneself vulnerable to the other.
And maybe even to become centered in each other.
Some Native Americans, maybe all, speak of the middle ground, a place in which we center ourselves, in perfect balance, in the middle of North, South, East, West, Above, Below. We are centered there.
Another Elizabeth Buchan book: The good wife strikes back Elizabeth Buchan has the ability to get into your head, if you are lucky enough to be the subject of her novel(s.) Maybe unlucky enough. Who knows where self-knowledge or self-revelation would take you. In...
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Juno, some spoilers, maybe Juno was recommended to me by a friend. I was told I'd like it, but I had my doubts. First, the subject of adoption, birth mothers, birth fathers, birth family, and desire for a child...
The work of an unknown good man (or woman) The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green. -- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer Sometimes I think we feel we need...
Love us, tell us, support us (blog entry on adoption) I found Love us, tell us, support us in Ramblings of a Shadow's blog very compelling. It was posted as a link at IAT. When first person narratives offer insight into the thoughts of adoptees...
A Tough Love Treatment Plan for Money Envy Money Envy Pervades Our Culture How much of your budget-busting, discretionary spending on entertainment, cars, clothes, electronics, and vacations is motivated by what you see...
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Path Of The Flaming Sword An apple seen by a person where no apples grow is a strange and perhaps amazing thing. An apple seen by an apple orchardist is...
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I need a certain amount of quiet time to function well. If I don’t get it, life becomes too hectic, when it is busy already, or I find myself wakeful in the night, the only quiet time. Music can count as quiet time too. I’m finding as I have more of it in my day, it flows better.
I need to be replenished before I have anything to pour out.
I worried a bit with my littles being off this week for Spring Break — and the irony of it not coinciding with College Girl’s Spring Break which was a coupla’ weeks ago.
But we have survived, and more than survived. We’ve had a nice mix of fun and play with work, which is about all you could ask for.
There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lie happiness. Gelett Burgess
I know it’s possible, and sometimes I have done it, to have quiet time in the midst of everything going on around, a little pocket. Multi-tasking par excellence. But on a forever basis, this isn’t really the best thing. It feels too rushed.
At times it seems like the moments I’ve set aside for myself are filled with interruptions. I remember reading about a minister who began his day by praying for his interruptions because, of course, he couldn’t know what the demands on his time would be for a particular day with his congregation. This is true for ourselves in our own work too, but we don’t always realize it. Sometimes I remind myself to do this, but generally it is after a particularly hectic day or hectic few days. Then I regain a balance again. Other times, it’s a matter of teaching my children not to interrupt every 10 seconds, which they are pretty good about now, thankfully.
I laugh and say, if you want your kids to talk to you, just pretend you are on the phone! They come every time, from wherever they are with something very crucial to say.
Cherish your quiet time and make it happen. What do you do to replenish? (I don’t think gym time counts as quiet time, but it does replenish. You can prove me wrong, however.)
Karin
March 28, 2007
Your Most Vital Commitment
Finding Time For You
Within each of us there is a well of energy that must be regularly replenished. When we act as if this well is bottomless, scheduling a long list of activities that fit like puzzle pieces into every minute of every day, it becomes depleted and we feel exhausted, disconnected, and weak. Refilling this well is a matter of finding time to focus on, nurture, and care for ourselves, or “you time.” Most of us are, at different times throughout the day, a spouse, a friend, a relative, an employee, a parent, or a volunteer, which means that down time, however relaxing in nature, is not necessarily “you time.” Though some people will inevitably look upon “you time” as being selfish, it is actually the polar opposite of selfishness. We can only excel where our outer world affairs are concerned when our own spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs are fulfilled.
Recognizing the importance of “you time” is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however…. You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.
Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. “You time” prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. …it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself. Daily OM
Live and wrestle in this time God has brought us into this time; He, and not ourselves or some dark demon. If we are not fit to cope with that which He has prepared for us, we would have been utterly...
Review Handbags and Homocide by Dorothy Howell Handbags and Homicide is a Haley Randolph Mystery. If you like Stephanie Plum, you will love Haley Randolph, with a cast of characters as quirky and loveable as the SP books, what's not to love!...
Love in a perfume bottle A recent article details the love a woman's father had for her mother in buying her what he considered a luxury, Royall Lyme Toilet Lotion. Along with the gift came the admonition to use it...
What about the future? I read something interesting the other day that likened life to a boat with rowers. When four rowers are in a boat, with their backs to the bow, their simple office is to pull the...
Review Percy Jackson movie If you loved Harry Potter, be sure not to miss Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. Book Girl and I went to the midnight showing last night, crazy people that we are. The...
Learning the Acoustic Guitar Quickly pt 3 10 - Take the time to learn different barre chords in addition to open chords. You should not skip learning barre chords simply because they...
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The dailiness of life brings many challenges. Often we think there is little we can do, or that anything we might do would likely have little effect. So we end up doing nothing. Or worse, we may fall into an attitude of mad-itude, constantly aggravated over even small events, largely complaining to everyone around us, adding another annoyance to their day. We then become the challenge!
I like this little poem for the truth it offers:
What if the little rain should say,
‘So small a drop as I
Can ne’er refresh a drooping earth,
I’ll tarry in the sky.’ Unknown author.
Each of us has a voice, and it is needed.
I was struck this morning by the power of one voice — then others joining with it.
What happens when a favorite teacher is laid off?
Rather than accepting the news defeatedly, when Christina Gutierrez (better known as Miss G. to her students) was notified in mid-September that she would be laid off due to low seniority, her students at Hamilton High School in Los Angeles rallied.
The last day she worked 500 students organized a sit-in protest. They wanted to voice their disapproval of the decision.
Prior to this 4 students and friends Noemi Rodriguez, Jimmy Biblarz, David Kamins, and Maya Festinger felt there had to be something they could do about it. They teleconferenced twice a week, investigated rules and regs, and thought about the logistics. Using word of mouth (I was surprised it wasn’t texting) they publicized their plans, and the day of the protest they handed out information for all that were protesting.
I won’t be surprised if any of them become lawyers.
They lined the halls the day of Gutierrez’ departure, careful not to block any exits or disrupt traffic flow in the building. When the principal asked them to be quiet, they started to snap. By day’s end, the students had gathered 300 letters of support.
This did not prove to be a solution, however. Rather than letting it end there, the students kept forging on.
Gutierrez took a substitute teaching job at an elementary school. Meanwhile her replacement wished to work at an elementary school. The simple solution was: why not switch the two teachers?
And I ask, since she had a replacement, why was she let go in the first place!
The students prepared to present their solution at a school district board meeting.
We want to create a legitimate student representation. We don’t want to be belligerent or bludgeoning. A lot of what we are about is proposing solutions, rather than listing grievances. Maya Festinger
The result? The board members conceded and allowed Gutierrez to return to Hamilton High.
What do I conclude?
It began with Gutierrez whose voice meant something to the students.
What does it take to have a voice that others rally to support?
I suspect she respects her students and genuinely likes them. I’m sure they feel this.
In a situation such as this, it would appear that those who are powerless (in this case the students) must accept without murmur the decision of the powerful (the school board.) But in this case, the powerless showed their acumen and ultimately that they were not powerless at all.
It’s inspiring! In the midst of seeming hopelessness, we don’t have to cave! Perhaps it is only rarely that we are ever powerless. With a little heart, we can accomplish a lot.
Where can you add your voice today? Don’t be silent! Let your voice be heard.
Trafficked children in Nepal Conor Grennan, another hero, backed by a small NGO that he started Next Generation Nepal is walking back roads in Nepal trying to reconnect families with their trafficked children. Here's part of one of his...
Review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I loved this review from Times Online Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows By J.K. Rowling Reviewed by Alice Fordham Death and vengeance hang over this book from the outset. Readers know that this is...
100 Thing challenge What do you think, could you do it? I have to admit I've pared down some this week -- as have my kids without even being asked! -- and I've given away clothes and other...
Vote! The US election I woke this morning thinking that it's a great privilege to live in a country where one can vote, male and female. There are still dictatorships in the world and places where women cannot vote....
The Thank You Campaign A friend sent me this youtube video today. It seems appropriate to post at this time of year, Thanksgiving in America where I live, and while it is directed at thanking the military men and...
I NEED HELP ON MY ESSAY (REVISING)? I'm not a good writer,, please can anyone revise my essay and tell me which part i have to fix? final draft is due on...
Supplementary Solutions for Debt Repayment There are a number of other things that you can do in order to improve your current money situation at the same time as you...
Can a VoIP Solution Lead Us Into The Future? Voice over IP is the process of an IP network to carry telephone voice signals as IP packets over the internet or other data networks....
All:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure – Measure A Year?
In Daylights – In Sunsets In Midnights – In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches – In Miles In Laughter – In Strife
In – Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?
How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love
Seasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.
Joanne:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A Man
Collins:
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died
All:
It’s Time Now – To Sing Out
Though The Story Never Ends Let’s Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure In Love
Joanne:
Oh you got to you got to remember the love, You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.
ALL
Seasons Of Love(2x)
Joanne: Measure your life, measure your life in love
Receiving good things If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come. Unknown author I particularly love this quote. How can we expect good things to light upon us, if we do not...
Thinking of an adoptee's rejection by her APs "In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm." - Isaac Rosenfeld...
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This article is written by a woman raised by her mother and step-father and her desire to know her biological father. She also says how many of their mannerisms are similar even though they hardly knew each other.
It offers some interesting insights if you are raising children or have divorced or are considering divorce.
What it's like to be a teen in China/choosing an English name For those of us who wonder what it might be like if our Chinese child were still in China in their first family, here is an interesting article. I also thought it was interesting that...
Do you accept your children/other people for who they are? One of the best things I've read on acceptance comes from an online friend of mine: I would no sooner want my daughter straight than I would want my son white. It is the world...
Thinking of an adoptee's rejection by her APs "In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm." - Isaac Rosenfeld...
Universal emotions I know anger is a universal emotion. But the juxtaposition of my short remark yesterday about dealing with my own angry anger was followed by receiving this message into my email box. I had to...
The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage [/caption] Why same-sex marriage is an American value. By Theodore B. Olson | NEWSWEEK Together with my good friend and occasional courtroom adversary David Boies,...
Choosing a Spot to Hunt Continued from part 1... The more that you know and understand about the preferences and the behavior characteristics of the animal that you are hunting,...
Lending Money To Friends And Family J.D. at Get Rich Slowly recently shared a tough story from one his readers about lending money to family. Twenty year-old Rachel wrote in to...
Kids Say the Darndest Things v2 [/caption] From the Humor Files: Kids Say the Darndest Thing A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How...
Comparing Summer Wine Lee to Eliza Doolittle by Kathryne Kennedy, guest blogger and author of My Unfair Lady It’s a pleasure to be here today on Love Romance Passion! Thanks so much...
Thinking about grief here and one who is grieving…grief can be so deep, we haven’t any idea how to climb out. Passage of time isn’t always an answer. But being there for someone, can shorten the journey that we all make. The need for comfort calls forth the best in us as we walk alongside one who is grieving.
Believing that life is eternal still needs to be worked out in the nitty gritty of living. God values our hearts, both our joys and laughter and our sorrows and tears.
There are as many ways of getting through grief each day, as there are individuals who have the need to. Whatever works for you, is your answer. Honor yourself and your feelings. Try to find something that makes you happy each day, even as simple as appreciating a flower.
I haven’t anything profound to say about grief, except that the love we express to each other goes a long way to healing the heart. Love helps in place of words, and words without love are platitudes.
I would rather engage in life with my whole heart, even if that means there are times that are painful.
Here are some favorite quotes of mine that helped me along the way. Some I took as a promise; others as a confirmation that where I was in my journey was OK.
Please share any thoughts you have that would help someone who is grieving.
Karin
Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either. Golda Meir
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. -Eileen Mayhew
Grieving is the last act of love we perform for our loved ones. Father Tobin
When you believe you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of others. Andrew Solomon
… put … my tears into your bottle: are they not in your book? Ps 56: 8
…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Ps 30:5
God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give him all the pieces. Unknown author
"There Is A Reason You Are There" "There Is A Reason You Are There" Wherever you are, you are there for a reason. There are times when the reason will be patently evident. At other times you will need to be patient...
Another Elizabeth Buchan book: The good wife strikes back Elizabeth Buchan has the ability to get into your head, if you are lucky enough to be the subject of her novel(s.) Maybe unlucky enough. Who knows where self-knowledge or self-revelation would take you. In...
The Good Samaritan and the things we must do Norris Burkes has written a wonderful column again. Sometimes, we must do things. He tells of a time when he was asked to baptize a newborn who was not expected to live. His answer, at...
On prayer As a physician, I have seen men, after all other therapy has failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the serene effort of prayer. It is the only power in the world that seems...
1 Corinthians 13 for parents If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper -- not a homemaker. If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative...
Conditions of Life People speak of temptation when they experience instinct and they say it is a distraction. This nature. Why supposedly is this nature unholy? This instinct....
101 Quotes About The Environment. Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. ~Henry David Thoreau Environmentalists have long been fond of saying...
DKNY Be Delicious Perfume Review This is a review of the DKNY Be Delicious perfume by DKNY: Donna Karen New York. The DKNY Be Delicious perfume by DKNY is a...
Some Thoughts on Why I Homeschool My Children If you homeschool your children, you've probably heard comments from others like, "I really admire you," or "I could never do that!" For those of...
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