The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green. -- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer

Sometimes I think we feel we need to be doing something really huge to justify taking up space, but this quote puts it into perspective for me. I just love this one.

It's enough just to be. And we water the ground around us. Maybe we even make a wilderness bloom. And it is not that we do it consciously, we just do it because we are.

Even the simple things of life that we take doing for granted, such as washing dishes, are seen to be important if they are not done.

It's enough just to be who we are. Going through our day with as much enjoyment and as much courage as we can muster, hitting some hard or low spots, or even high spots, but carrying on carrying on is really doing a good work.

And yes, sometimes it is work...

Without a word our lives can be a counterbalance to the difficult places or people in life, and that's saying a lot.

Karin

He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. Jesus in John 7: 38

Originally posted 2007-03-17 07:48:31.

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H = S + C + V
Happiness = Set Point + Conditions of Your Life + Volunteer Activities

The S and C account for ...60% of our happiness. "But that still leaves 40% which is really quite a lot." [Lyubomirsky] Liz Seymour

I'd like to know where they get their percentages. I think there are times when C can be a lot more than 60%. It can permeate the whole of life, even if we have happy moments.

We have to fight for the kind of life we want -- and that includes our happiness. Make the choices that increase our overall sense of well-being.

Martin Seligman, originator of the term 'positive psychology' [director of the Positive Psychology Center at the U of PA] divides the building blocks of happiness into two broad categories: pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures are sensual and emotional (a good meal...a back rub) but generally fleeting in their effect. Gratifications are those activities that call on our skills and strengths and give us a sense of a job well done. [He] divides [these] even further into what he calls 'signature strengths' -- marks of character such as perseverance, kindness, curiosity, and humility that make each of us the individuals that we are.

...[Haidt] assigned [psychology students] four activities: attend a lecture, perform an act of kindness, express gratitude to someone, [or]eat an ice cream cone. Only the ice cream cone failed to lift the student's mood for the whole day. ... "We are most fully engaged in life when we are part of something that isn't just for ourselves." Liz Seymour

Well, no wonder food is not really a comfort, if this holds true. Of course, we knew that empirically, but now it is confirmed. I'm still not ready to give up chocolate, but if I go for a while not eating it, I find I don't want it.

What things give you the best day or the best feeling about yourself or your life? Kindness and curiosity rank up there with keeping involved in life.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-09-24 21:04:27.

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Sherry and I were emailing one day. She shared some difficult things she'd been through with her kids. I liked this and asked her permission to share it.

Karin

But it's a thread in our lives now, not the entire fabric, and sometimes it's almost hidden within the warp and weft of our lives. And laughter adds a little sparkle to that fabric as well.
Sherry B

Originally posted 2007-01-10 23:22:43.

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I appreciate Dorothy Parker's wit. Nearly everyone is familiar with this particular one, though they may not know she was the one who originated it -- it has passed into familiar lore:

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

During her lifetime (1893 - 1967) she was referenced in many different venues, including music and plays. She is still relevant today, as evidenced by many modern-day references. I suppose that shows the on-going influence of her life. Just a few are:

* In the movie Girl, Interrupted (film), Angelina Jolie's character, Lisa, quotes Parker's poem, Resume

* Part of her poem, Coda, was read in an episode of Gilmore Girls by Jared Padalecki.

* Canadian musician Ron Hawkins refers to Dorothy Parker in a song titled "Out of the Black".

Lyric: And just like Dorothy Parker would say, its no shame to call it a day ...

* The songs Afternoon and Ballade at Thirty-Five from No Promises, by Carla Bruni were adapted from the poems by Parker. Wikipedia

Today at Curves, they had one of her quotes on the board. I'm not surprised it is attributed to DP because it has her same witty ring to it. Her quotes usually make you think twice.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. (Attributed to) Dorothy Parker

Makes sense to me, speaking as one who is curious.

While looking through some of her other quotes, this one made me laugh:

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker

I laughingly say, if you want your children to talk to you, just pretend to be on the phone. They will talk to you every time.

This quote illustrates her clever use of double entendre:

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-02-06 17:30:54.

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One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if it were possible, speak a few reasonable words. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet, dramatist, novelist, and philosopher (1749-1832)

I think I live by this philosophy. I bring into my life the elements I need for happiness, things of beauty.

Even fragrance exists outside the bare utility of life. It adds to life; it does not subtract. Recently someone remarked that because her month had been hectic, stressful and hard, she chose to wear scents that she felt would anchor her when dealing with the issues -- scents that felt either grounding or comforting. I thought that was very astute. I also choose my scents by how I feel on a particular day. Her remarks made me think again of the mood altering effects of perfumes. We can change the way we feel by the elements we bring into our days.

And when I am happy, it brings happiness not only into my experience, but lightens those who know me.

Contrast this to the following:

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person. -William Feather, author, editor and publisher (1889-1981)

What is happiness, anyway? I believe it exists entwined in the rest of life, including intelligence, which presumably would lead us to the things that bring us happiness, such as Goethe suggested.

Perhaps happiness is also entwined with a degree of solution-thinking. If we believe that a solution exists or could be brought to bear upon the difficulties we face or see, then we are less apt to sink into despair. I don't have to be the one to find a particular solution. It may be enough for me to acknowledge that a solution can be found. I like to think this makes it easier for the one who is searching for a solution to find it.

I don't think happiness is ignoring the world. Rather it is refocusing on what is beautiful in the world.

What brings you happiness? Do you make a conscious effort to include more in your life?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-03-12 07:23:39.

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Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy. Milton Erickson, M.D.

One of the servers in a restaurant the other day was talking with me about the new year and her hopes for it. She said she wasn't making any resolutions, because they don't work for her. Among other things, I said, maybe we are to try to find happiness in our life just as it is, as best we can. (Which is, of course, sometimes easier said than done.)

This quote reminds me of that.

Have you ever known anyone who is a joy-sucker? If there is any joy in a situation, a person like this can manage to wring it out, leaving you feeling worse and having something else to deal with. I try to limit my time with someone like this, as much as possible. It brings me down too far.

It's so much better consciously to be a joy-bringer, a creator of joy, so that others will be glad you are around.

It's too much to say we can do this all the time. But creating joy, to me, is a big part of it -- finding something that makes us happy, then doing it or bringing it into our life; or being like the child who finds treasures of joy along the sidewalk vs. being in such a hurry to get somewhere that we can be oblivious to the good around us.

It's not for nothing that it is said to stop and smell the flowers along the way.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-01-15 13:39:45.

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Habit is God's way of making good automatic in your life. Robert Russell in You Try It

We tend to think of habits as mostly negative or merely negative.

What a lovely take on it, to think of habits, in the good sense, as making good automative (and evident) in our lives. It doesn't require talk; it just requires presence.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-02-08 09:15:21.

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I thought this was one of the most beautiful metaphors/examples of the divine spark that shines through us all. I hope you enjoy it like I did.

Karin

I got up early one morning to catch the sunrise. There had been some freezing rain overnight, which coated all the trees with ice. It was breathtakingly beautiful. As the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, the trees sparkled with that reflected light.

When I looked to the north of the house where the sun hadn't yet hit, the trees looked so ordinary. But when I turned back to where the sun shined, the trees were extraordinarily beautiful.

To me this was a glimpse of what it means to be the reflection of God. There's a divine dimension of life that makes us beautiful and good and kind, both inside and out. That life link with God's light takes us beyond human limitations and lifts us into that spiritual point of view where things become possible that we didn't think were possible...

Someone said to me years ago, "Everyone has a divine spark and it's up to you to find it and fan the flame." Each of us has some quality of God that's distinctly ours, that shines through us and makes us the special individuals that we are.

For the full article, go here.

26 ¶ And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them...
31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Genesis 1, KJV

Originally posted 2007-06-21 13:19:26.

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What a lovely song...

I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I get lost inside my tears...You're angry...You're angry...You're lost inside your tears, and there's nothing I can do.

Originally posted 2007-02-07 12:16:39.

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I need a certain amount of quiet time to function well. If I don't get it, life becomes too hectic, when it is busy already, or I find myself wakeful in the night, the only quiet time. Music can count as quiet time too. I'm finding as I have more of it in my day, it flows better.

I need to be replenished before I have anything to pour out.

I worried a bit with my littles being off this week for Spring Break -- and the irony of it not coinciding with College Girl's Spring Break which was a coupla' weeks ago.

But we have survived, and more than survived. We've had a nice mix of fun and play with work, which is about all you could ask for.

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lie happiness. Gelett Burgess

I know it's possible, and sometimes I have done it, to have quiet time in the midst of everything going on around, a little pocket. Multi-tasking par excellence. But on a forever basis, this isn't really the best thing. It feels too rushed.

At times it seems like the moments I've set aside for myself are filled with interruptions. I remember reading about a minister who began his day by praying for his interruptions because, of course, he couldn't know what the demands on his time would be for a particular day with his congregation. This is true for ourselves in our own work too, but we don't always realize it. Sometimes I remind myself to do this, but generally it is after a particularly hectic day or hectic few days. Then I regain a balance again. Other times, it's a matter of teaching my children not to interrupt every 10 seconds, which they are pretty good about now, thankfully.

I laugh and say, if you want your kids to talk to you, just pretend you are on the phone! They come every time, from wherever they are with something very crucial to say.

Cherish your quiet time and make it happen. What do you do to replenish? (I don't think gym time counts as quiet time, but it does replenish. You can prove me wrong, however.)

Karin

March 28, 2007
Your Most Vital Commitment
Finding Time For You
Within each of us there is a well of energy that must be regularly replenished. When we act as if this well is bottomless, scheduling a long list of activities that fit like puzzle pieces into every minute of every day, it becomes depleted and we feel exhausted, disconnected, and weak. Refilling this well is a matter of finding time to focus on, nurture, and care for ourselves, or "you time." Most of us are, at different times throughout the day, a spouse, a friend, a relative, an employee, a parent, or a volunteer, which means that down time, however relaxing in nature, is not necessarily "you time." Though some people will inevitably look upon "you time" as being selfish, it is actually the polar opposite of selfishness. We can only excel where our outer world affairs are concerned when our own spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs are fulfilled.

Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however.... You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. "You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. ...it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself. Daily OM

Originally posted 2007-03-30 07:16:54.

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