This comes from a friend of mine who helped another friend celebrate her 102nd birthday! I asked her to tell me something about her friend. I think we tend to hear more of decrepitude than elders who are still going strong. I like to collect stories of folks living life well into their elder years. It counteracts what we hear way more of than we should for our own good.

Karin

My friend who is celebrating her 102nd birthday this week, is so inspiring to me. She stays up to date with news and current events and is always interesting to talk to. She knows what's going on and often has a thoughtful comment to offer. She has friends of all ages. I know that each of her friends feel just as I do.....they visit her because they WANT to, not because they feel obligated. They enjoy talking to her and they enjoy being with her.

One day, when she was 98 years old, I took her to the bank because she had two c.d.'s that were coming due and she wasn't sure what to do with them. I waited while she went in and talked to the bank officer. A few minutes later she came out of his office and with a little smile on her face, she told me that she had renewed the cd's for another two years. We both kind of chuckled at her decision, but that was just another example of how she lives each moment of her life, always living in the here and now. I don't know what she did with the cd's when they came due again. She would have been 100 that year and I'd be willing to bet that she renewed them for another two years. (and if so, it's now time to renew them again!) She lives each day with anticipation and appreciation.

About two years ago the apartment building which she had lived in for more than 25 years was being turned into condos and everyone had to leave unless they wanted to buy a unit. She knew she would have to leave, and after much help from several friends she moved from her spacious two bedroom apartment into a much smaller one-bedroom apartment a few blocks away. She could not fit all of her furniture into the one bedroom apartment, but instead of selling the furniture that she couldn't use, she rented a storage unit and stored the excess furniture.. I saw that as one more example of her living for the moment. She seldom talks about the past unless she has an interesting story to tell you. She's a real inspiration!

You asked me to include any comments that she might have made at her birthday party about life or birthdays, but she just simply thanked everyone for being there and for their kindness. She seems to take each birthday in stride without ever making a big deal about it . Amazing! Love, J.

Originally posted 2007-02-18 14:00:35.

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I do not know the source for this story. But I like the moral.

Karin

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.

From a distance, each looks like every other horse.

But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.

His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing. Listening, one will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, one will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her bridle is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As one stands and watches these two friends, one sees how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by God and those whom he places in our lives.

Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see God. Author unknown.

Originally posted 2008-06-02 11:29:37.

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3 Proven Skin Care Ingredients

Just because it's pricey and comes in a pretty jar, it doesn't necessarily mean a product has more effective skin care ingredients.

Often, "lower-priced products may work better than their more expensive counterparts," says Arthur W. Perry, MD, author of the book Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery (Yale University Press Health & Wellness). Whether it's $9 or $99, here are three key ingredients to consider . . .

3 Proven Ingredients
According to Dr. Perry, vitamin C (also known as L-ascorbic acid), alpha-hydroxy acids (also known as AHAs, fruit acids, and glycolic acid), and retinoids or retinol-like compounds (tretinoin, retinol, etc.) are a few of the handful of skin product ingredients backed by strong scientific evidence that they boost skin health and appearance.

What About the Rest?
That doesn't mean other ingredients won't benefit your skin; it's just that the scientific proof isn't as solid for them. The main reason some skin care ingredients fail to deliver? Their molecules are too big to penetrate your skin when applied topically. Real Age tip of the day

Originally posted 2007-05-04 12:38:37.

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...these issues are issues I deal with as an adult adoptee...issues do not stop with childhood/adolescence, no matter what researchers or adoptive parents might think. Because part of opening myself to this list [IAT] is helping adoptive parents to see the ways that adoption shapes/touches/influences even those parts of our lives that seem separate...and to say that the hurt inside of me created first when I was abandoned and continued during my entire life no matter how much I mature... that hurt is part of my identity. For good and for bad. It gives me empathy, it gives me a need to love, and it gives me tenderness...but it also gives me a terrible vulnerability.

I open up that vulnerability to be of service to others because it is the only way for me to make meaning of this terrible loss, this unresolvable grief.

It is who I am. boamseng at IAT, Korean Adoptee (KAD) with permission

She would be willing to talk with parents who would like to know what she means more concretely. For now, email me and I will forward the messages to her.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-10-14 19:25:42.

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"It is complex, it is challenging and sometimes it can be painful. What I think everyone like me feels is that it's not something you grow out of, it is a lifelong experience and it's vital that people who have been through it talk about their experiences." Perlita Harris, Indian, adopted in Britain

Originally posted 2007-03-02 08:18:58.

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I always like a good beauty quote, and Andrea Claire had a few good ones in her interview with Makeup Junkie. You can read the full interview and learn more about Claire's makeup, hair and style career here at MJ's blog. You can also see some of Claire's print work. I'm glad MJ is back online posting again.

Here are some highlights:

Fall 2009 Beauty Trends
Claire feels smokey eyes, matte red lips, and 80s revival will be the top trends this fall. This was confirmed in the MAC videos I posted earlier.

Advice to women of a certain age
Avoid trends such as 80s revival, if you already lived it once. Makes sense to me.

...if you had been there done that and bought the lime green shadow you cannot do that again! Besides, it is very much a 'must have young skin' to pull it off. Bold colour blocking with eye shadows can age you and have you looking like you are stuck in a time warp. This look is only carried off if you are an adolescent so if you are 21 and under I say rock it, over 21 opt for another trend of the season.

Claire gives the following makeup tricks:
Smokey Eyes

*layer carbon/charcoal shadows with metallic colour. [You notice that I have done this, as it works better for my eyes.]
*If you find shadows are difficult to blend with your dark base then layer MAC's Smolder pencil with a Lise Watier's Metallic Eye shine pencil, smudge together with a Q-Tip. [Or use the MAC smudger brush as I have done. And use a lighter base. MAC's Smolder moved on me and made a mess. Blackgraph stays put. They are two different formulas. Smolder would likely smudge better.]

Matte Red lips

*apply the lip liner after the lipstick so it doesn't appear to[o] geometric.
*dot a smidge of vitamin e on top - not to add gloss but just a little moisture -- if matte is too drying for you.

What I really loved is her beauty mantra:

Be realistic. Be real... Beauty is not serious - beauty is a moment in your day that can convey confidence, flirtiness, calm. What I mean is, all women 'take 5' in their day by touching up here and there ... Beauty is a moment in time that is forever changing. Embrace those little moments but don't be those moments just live in them.... HA! Life is short - enjoy it - have fun with it. That's what beauty and fashion is all about; ... A form of expression that can change day to day, season to season - enjoy the trends but remember to enjoy life too. Andrea Claire at Makeup Junkie

Be sure to look at Makeup Junkie's blog.

Karin --I do wear the lime shadow, just judiciously.
www.savvythinker.com
don't steal my posts -- you know who you are!

Originally posted 2009-08-27 19:21:47.

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For AP's--Join online groups like Adoption_Agency_Research and learn and
participate.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption_Agency_Research/ (The Adoption Agency Research Group was formed to help prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) in their research and selection of an international adoption agency. If you have already completed an adoption, please share your experience with us! This group is for CONSUMERS ONLY -- EMPLOYEES OR AFFILIATES OF ADOPTION AGENCIES are NOT WELCOME in this Group!)

--Contribute whatever you can according to your own experiences.

--The best way to continue to support bad agency practice is to keep your mouth shut about the corruption, fraud, and bad adoption practices that you yourself experienced. The best way to support better agency practice is to SHARE YOUR BAD EXPERIENCES with others. Silence is the best friend of corruption, fraud, and bad adoption practice.

--Membership in groups like AAR is useful not just in terms of learning about agencies, but in learning about the realities of current adoption practice.

--Note the lacks and loopholes in adoption law and enforcement as you see how real life adoption practice plays out in the lives of real people.

--Note who the especially problematic actors are and how they freely they appear, disappear, and then reappear in one agency and then another.

--Note also how ineffective the laws, enforcement, and oversight are as you watch the very, very few agencies and actors who are finally disciplined by government or voluntary bodies simply show up in another jurisdiction or another agency reincarnation to continue freely to do whatever they do.

--Note also the lack of real recourse that adoptive parents have with agencies. What would make this situation better?

--Now imagine this lack of laws, lack of enforcement, and lack of recourse and power multiplied a hundredfold in the case of impoverished first families dealing with corrupt sending country operatives and governments. What would make this situation better?

Originally posted 2007-03-05 20:50:22.

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Above All,
Trust in the Slow Work of God

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown,
something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time
-- that is to say, grace --
and circumstances
acting on your own good will
will make you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God,
our loving vine-dresser.

Amen.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French Jesuit, paleontologist, biologist, and philosopher. 1881-1955

Originally posted 2007-03-07 07:59:42.

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Norris Burkes again. You can find a link to his complete columns on my front page link section.
Karin

Our quest for life's answers never ends

March 17, 2007
BY NORRIS BURKES

Truthfully, I think atheists have a thing or two to teach people of faith. I think they teach us to not be so sure of ourselves and that's a good thing.

Over the years, I've received a lot of e-mail from people who are sure of themselves. I've gotten e-mail from religious readers who, bless their hearts, have called me everything but a Child of God. Not too surprising, really.

But what does surprise me is the e-mails from self-described atheists or agnostics. These readers tell me they regularly avoid religious writing, but they often read my column.

Perhaps their endorsements boost the likelihood that I'll be nominated next year, but I'd like to think these readers aren't stereotypical atheists. These readers admit they are locked in a struggle with deeper questions. And I believe God will honor the sincerity of their struggle and will embrace those who continue to look for the answers to faith questions.

The problem I find in the hard line positions of some theists and some atheists is that they've become certain they now know all there is to know about God.

I'm not sure how they do that. Does one just get up in the morning and say, "I've researched the question of the universe and decided that I'm done now"?

How do you stop looking for the answers to spiritual questions such as: How did I get here? Not just in terms of molecules and genes, but in terms of how did I get into this moment? What does this moment mean for those I touch?

How does the hard-liner theist or the atheist exclaim with certitude the definitions of life and death so easily -- especially questions that pertain to what happens after this life?

...we were able to struggle in a search for the holy.

Originally posted 2007-03-18 12:14:52.

No related posts.

February 22, 2007
The Past In Light Of The Present
Knowing Better Now

When we look back at the past, knowing what we know now, we often find it difficult to understand how we made the mistakes we made. This is because once we learn new information, it is nearly impossible to reenter the headspace we were in before we learned that information. And so we look back at parents who spanked their kids, for example, and wonder how they could have thought that was a good idea. Similarly, our personal pasts are full of mistakes we can't believe we made. We did things then that we would never do now, and this is precisely because we have information now that we didn't have, or weren't able to access, then.

From ideas about how to raise children to how to treat the environment, our collective human past sometimes reads like a document on what not to do. In many ways, this is exactly as it should be. We learn from living and having experiences. It is from these past actions that we garnered the information that guides us to live differently now. Just so, in our personal lives, we probably had to have a few unsuccessful relationships or jobs, learning about our negative tendencies through them, in order to gain the wisdom we have now.

In order to live more peacefully with the past, it helps to remember that once we know better, we tend to do better. Prior to knowing, we generally do our best, and while it's true that from the perspective of the present, our best doesn't always seem good enough, we can at least give our past selves the benefit of the doubt. We did our best with what knowledge we had. Beyond this, we serve the greater good most effectively by not dwelling on the past, instead reigning our energy and knowledge into our present actions. It is here, in this moment, that we create our reality and ourselves anew, with our current knowledge and information. Daily OM, see link at front page

Originally posted 2007-02-22 12:56:33.

No related posts.