Somebody passed this to me today, and I thought it was worthwhile to pass on.
Have you ever had a day when it just started out wrong and got worse? Or maybe it started out OK and went downhill from there. Yes, it’s a truism that we take ourselves with us wherever we go — and maybe we do contribute to the over-all sense of life we are experiencing.
But what if…what if…we could see what others are going through…what if…
Got it?
What if that made our day…what if when we reach out, our day changes and so does theirs.
Pink Panther 2 We had a lot of fun seeing this movie yesterday. Of course, you know it's going to be silly, and it was. And some of the visuals were especially funny, how they ever thought of...
The girl in the cafe A friend was telling me I would enjoy the movie The Girl in the Cafe. I loved the scenery! Richard Curtis (who also wrote Notting Hill) wrote this movie. I remember reading about it when...
Review Flipping Brilliant A Penguin's Guide to a Happy Life Flipping Brilliant is a short little inspirational book based on penguin life, but it is filled with wonderful, wonderful pictures of penguins. It is also available as a Kindle book for $6.39. But I'm not...
The elusive nature of happiness, part 1 I got a chance to read a bit on the flight we took recently. The US Airways September 2007 issue had some insights on happiness worth thinking about. The editor, Lance Elko, began the issue...
First, the serums What is a serum? A serum is the first step of your skin care, after your cleanser and toner. Does a serum hydrate? It does not hydrate much, if at all; it is not a...
Your Life Meditation is not something you can achieve. When you sit and allow yourself to be where you are, and maybe not do anything in that...
Save Time, Money and Space in Over 80 Ways If you're looking for handy gadgets, tools and various items that can save you time, money or space (or all three!) this list of more...
Thanks for 2007 and goals for 2008 The year 2007 will be history in less than an hour here. Thank you everyone for visiting, reading, linking to, subscribing to, and commenting on...
So What Does A Man Want In A Woman... by Tessa Radley, guest blogger and author of Millionaire Under the Mistletoe. I’ve been thinking a lot about heroines lately. About the careers they have,...
Finding a market for an idea — and not taking no for an answer.
I recently read an article about David Rowland and his 40/4 stackable chairs. (40 chairs stack in a 4 foot high space.) Likely you’ve even sat in one.
Never let an idea go, if you think it is inspired. Karin
He told church friends for 8 years that he was working on his chair, and they likely thought he was crazy. But in October 1964, The New York Times put his chair on the front page because it won the Gran Prix award at the Milan Triennale (an international showcase honoring emerging design quality.)
His motive was that he wanted to help provide for his parents in their elder years.
But to get to this point, he networked with others in the field who at times told him, among other things, that there was no market for it.
Ultimately he was led to see how many chairs he could fit in a small space.
My only answer was that the idea came from God…And if it came from God, then I’d better fight for it. David Rowland
He was first offered $20,000 for the rights to the chair — a lot of money even today. He was led to turn it down, instead taking a percentage for each chair. He found that some in the company were working against him. So the contract was canceled. A short time later he ran into the national sales manager for the same company and was led to offer his hand. As they spoke together, because he acted in kindness, not resentment, the man suggested another lead. When he called them, they needed 16,000 of his chairs. That paid for the manufacturing. Millions of the chairs have been sold in 43 years, even in Europe.
He was able to provide for his mother in her retirement. (His dad died before the chair was produced.) In the years since then he has also designed other chairs for mass production.
Not only did he design the chair, but he wouldn’t give up until he found a market for it. Never let an idea go, if you think it is inspired.
Neil Morris Fragrances, Part 2 his bespoke fragrances I could tell how much Neil loves creating perfumes by his gentle enthusiasm when he spoke with me. He is knowledgeable and enjoys sharing his gift with others. He speaks plainly but in layman's terms,...
Making our lives a prayer Norris Burkes had another thought provoking column this week. Andi Bowsher, author of Praying the Pattern ...says , "Paul [when he said to pray without ceasing] was suggesting making life into prayer rather than making...
One decision away Reading Leap!: What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives? makes me think we could all be one decision away from a more interesting life or at least a changed one. Of course,...
A convocation of eagles Robert Klose, as a single man, has adopted two sons, both from Russia, I believe. They were adopted separately a number of years apart and are now brothers. He has written extensively in essays for...
The 100 Unsexiest men of 2007 This one made me laugh out loud. I didn't read all of them, but I looked through all the pictures and read some of the comments. These guys couldn't turn on a radio. Considering Ellen...
Self vs. Ego What’s the difference between presence and present? Present is ego. Presence is self. There are two types of instincts? No, there is one type of...
Social Media's Impact On Internet Marketing Social media's impact on Internet marketing has caused many, if not all, online marketers to rethink the way they do business online. Gone are the...
A friend loaned me her copy of the book eat, pray, love, because she liked it so well and felt I would too. I knew by the first few pages that I wanted a copy of my own.
It took me quite a while to work my way through the book, but in that way I could savor it. It’s a rare book that is so enjoyable.
Gilbert has a wonderful way with words.
And the good news is that it is being made into a movie with Julia Roberts starring. That should be interesting!
The book is her chronicle of searching across Italy (where she eats her way, while learning Italian), India (where she is in an Ashram searching for God, finding herself in silent devotion and in words and communion with others), and Bali (where she finds love and helps a woman buy a home.)
Along the way we see her work through the angst of her difficult divorce. She moves from a sense of no belief to profundity. It is by turns funny, touching, endearing, sad…
If you’ve read it, how did you like it? And if you haven’t, treat yourself.
Over my dead body (movie) College Girl and I went to see this movie tonight. I wasn't sure if I'd want to see it, after reading the review, but I had seen a preview. There was a lot of laughter...
Review Kiss and Tell by Cherry Adair (Book 2) It's always fun to find a new author -- especially when they have beaucoup books already in print! Thanks to Susan for sharing the author, Cherry Adair who writes a genre I enjoy reading, romantic...
Review: Update: Kindle 2 ebook reader UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE NEWS FLASH Amazon is keeping up with the competition This arrived in my mailbox this morning: Dear Kindle Customers, A new Kindle software update is now available and will be automatically delivered...
Books, books, books Life has been so busy lately with extra things on top of regular things that my reading has gone somewhat by the wayside. I love to read when there is something interesting to read! All...
Reading and movies What is reading, but silent conversation. Walter Savage Landor, writer (1775-1864) I love the idea that reading is silent conversation. The books that touch us most fall into that category. Right now I am especially...
How Much Does It Cost In Life Energy? A few years ago I went through sort of a financial awakening. I hit bottom one day when my check card was declined for a...
Why I like Your Money or Your Life One of my money goals is to "continue following the YMOYL program" (affiliate link) but it occurred to me that I've never really explained what...
Renewal Cycle Why does our stress effect physical health? Disruption of the renewal cycle. Stress is a big factor in heart disease is it not? It is yes,...
BBAW: Reading Meme Okay so brevity is the name of the game with this meme and I honestly don’t know how I pulled it off, but every one...
Recognizing the signs of a family facing foreclosure Free Money Finance recently had an acquaintance of his go into foreclosure, and the signs of trouble were clear in retrospect. People don't advertise that...
It seems like everyone and their brother is jumping on the bandwagon with inspirational sayings. I was surprised this morning to see the words on the side of one of my girl’s Marble Slab ice cream cup: Find happiness within. That was a good one! What a perfect reminder.
It goes along with my not-complaining post from yesterday.
Find happiness within sounds like a catch phrase. It might seem like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. Instead, we might really have to fight for happiness and on the side of happiness to hold onto it — or even find it.
But it is worth it.
If there isn’t some happiness within, would we ever notice it without? If we are full of complaining (or anger or unhappiness or resentment or…) would we really notice the good around us? Would it make much of an impression?
Maybe the word find gives us a clue that we might have to search for it. Or it might be that in looking for something else, we find happiness as a sort of surprise.
I like the idea of being surprised by happiness!
I hope you find yourself surprised by happiness today. Do something good for yourself that makes you happy.
I’m going to look for it too so I recognize it when it lights.
Tell me about it, I’d love to hear!
And here’s another company that has jumped on the band wagon: (New) Nivea Touch of Happiness Body Wash with orange blossom and bamboo essence. I haven’t tried it. I just thought it was funny to run into an ad for it today after I wrote this.
Karin
Long or short hair? Katie Holmes, whose change from long to short hair made women everywhere want to chop their locks and was the sound of shears heard round the world, has done it again. She's gone to instant...
Cosmetics for Un femme d'un certain age Have you ever noticed ...that most makeup blogs (and images) are written by younger women... ...that advertising shows young women, even if they are advertising a product for an older woman, 90% of the time...
Failing Fast The ability to move on from failure is something we all must learn. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn...
Review: Rimmel Kiss and Stay Lipgloss I was gifted with two shades of Rimmel Kiss and Stay Lip gloss. It comes in a dual ended wand. One end has an opaque color; the other end is a glitter gloss. Here's what...
8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine - By Ylonda Gault Caviness Here are the 8 things listed in a Redbook Magazine article, 8 Things No One...
6 ways to become famous About a month ago, before I started problogging, I was walking in midtown Manhattan when I saw a strange sight: a young woman walking down...
How it began
Perhaps you’ve heard of the church that gave out rubber bracelets with the words No complaint. The idea was to wear the bracelet on one wrist, moving it to the other when you caught yourself complaining, with the hope of going 21 days without complaints. I’m not sure, if this was only for expressed complaints or included complaints in thought, but unexpressed to others.
They offered these bracelets to others for a donation. Later they added a charge for them.
My little complaint — sorry! — is that I ordered some bracelets for myself and a few friends which were never grandfathered in, so I never received them. I thought it would be a good exercise for us.
Prone to complaining
Some personality types seem more prone to chronic complaining. It’s not easy to be the person thinking complaints all the time or the one around them.
For the most part I try not to complain — perhaps I do more of it than I think!
I knew someone who would express negatives, then say, “I’m not complaining; I’m explaining!” However, it was voiced just the same.
Habit of complaining
The habit of complaining can be routed out of ourselves, sometimes with difficulty, if we desire it to be and are willing to work — and sometimes pray — toward it.
We can leave the negatives of our personality type behind and pick up the positives from other personality types as we become more Christlike.
Is complaining ever a good thing?
It’s hard to know what part of complaining is a good thing. It’s almost a truism that progress comes when complaint turns to action. If we were always satisfied with the status quo, we’d still have gas lights and live in caves.
Yet complaining for the sake of complaining, or being in the habit of complaint, works to suck the joy out of the very air around us — and out of the consciousness of those around us who might most need a little boost, not something to drag them down.
If our complaining doesn’t add up to our own happiness or the happiness of those around us, then it is time to be free(r) of it.
I venture to say that nearly everyone has a joy-sucker in their life — it isn’t always a person, it can be a situation — but hopefully we are not adding to the negatives!
Gratitude is riches
There’s a hymn with the words:
Our gratitude is riches, complaint is poverty. Vivian Burnett
It’s something to contemplate: that every bit of gratitude or appreciation expressed or even thought — no matter how small — adds to the riches of ourselves and those around us.
And then, the reverse: that every time we complain for the sake of complaining it depletes us in some way — or perhaps even worse, shows up on our face — ouch!
We would be less quick to complain about vexing situations, without some action following it that might bring change, if we would just catch ourselves with these reminders.
My bracelet
I thought about making a bracelet with the words No complaint, but for me, I wanted a positive reminder of what I hope to bring.
I was playing around with alphabet beads to see what letters I had to work with. It isn’t necessary to put much money into making a bracelet like these. I made two bracelets that I alternate wearing. If I find I really enjoy them, I will remake them in silver beads. I added crystals and carved beads to make them more interesting.
Create-Imagine-Appreciate
Bring Joy-Love-Pax
What do you do if you find yourself chronically complaining? What do you want to bring to situations? How do you keep resentments and complaints from sizzling?
A happiness analogy -- searching for happiness Sometimes I think the harder we look for happiness, the more elusive it can be. It's like searching for Mr. Goodbar. But if we just sit quietly, appreciating and in the moment, it sneaks up...
Quitcher bitchin' If kvetching is second nature to you, I heard today of rubber bracelets to be worn to help you stop complaining. I guess even Oprah talked about it on her show. I'm behind in finding...
The elusive nature of happiness, part 1 I got a chance to read a bit on the flight we took recently. The US Airways September 2007 issue had some insights on happiness worth thinking about. The editor, Lance Elko, began the issue...
Review: NYX Lips Update: I added Golden Luster and Rhea to the swatches. NYX had a really great sale on these, so I took the package 30 lippies, out of 60, regularly $120 for $24. How could I...
Thinking about friendships What is said in the chair, stays in the chair. My hair stylist. To have a friend, you have to be one. Karin Yesterday I found myself thinking about what constitutes friendship. Why are we...
Work, Love and Relationships How does work affect love and relationships? Nowadays it takes an entire family to work together to make ends meet. When families work together, they...
Happy New Year! photo credit: claudmey It's a brand new day and a brand new year! Let's take this "clean slate" and live our lives as joyful, healthy,...
Merry Christmas To All... I know I'm jumping the gun by a whole day but I'm not intending on doing any work tomorrow. Merry Christmas to everyone! From next...
Happiness (and Money) We've all heard that money can't buy happiness. Some proof can be found in the number of lottery winners who had come upon tough times....
Welcome to Prosper Week For the rest of this week, I'm going to focus on peer-to-peer lending via Prosper.com. I think I just heard a groan from most of...
I enjoyed this book by Fern Michaels. It is only the second one I’ve read by her.
Central to the story are three sisters ranging in age upwards from 69. They were so funny to me, especially when they instigate a ‘kidnapping’ of sorts, which is really a rescue. I suppose what I like about them is that I want to be like them when I get to that point in life — feisty, involved, loving, fun to be around, engaged in what is going on around them, taking care of their families. I wasn’t enamored of the amount of drinking they did. And there is a brief mention of a child born and left to be raised in Japan.
Alongside their stories (and two brief forays into romance for two of them) is the story of their grown niece, interwoven with the stories of the historical nature of where they live, as well as those who live in their neighborhood.
Also central to the story is the subject of organ donation (which was done against the will of well-beloved character.) It ultimates in finding those who received the donations (by computer hacking) — and ultimately redemption.
It is a story of love, affirmation and good will, with a tidy ending, perhaps tidier than real life would be, but evidencing forgiveness.
I think I enjoyed it as much for the older women and their relationship to each other as anything. In some ways they reminded me of a beloved grandmother. While there are difficult subjects tackled, they are tackled in a light way. Sort of like the substance of whipped cream. Not real satisfying, but an attempt to be deeper than the average romance novel.
Alice in Wonderland Book Girl and I went to see Alice in Wonderland this morning. Neither of us particularly wanted to go, but we went anyway. We chose to see the non-3D version. I might go back and...
Mistakes! Mistakes? I was laughing with a friend today, and I said, make the most of your mistakes everyday. You only go this way once, make sure you make all the mistakes you can! Well, I was...
Discuss: Hair styles that make you look older Allure talks about hairstyles that are aging. Let's discuss! A good hair stylist is hard to find One of the hardest things to find is a good hair stylist, one who understands your hair, how...
A life that is well lived This comes from a friend of mine who helped another friend celebrate her 102nd birthday! I asked her to tell me something about her friend. I think we tend to hear more of decrepitude than...
Inner peace for busy people I'm enjoying the book Inner Peace for Busy People by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. It is divided into 52 topics "simple strategies for transforming your life." One reviewer wrote that he reads with a pen, and...
A desert riding story Tracey St. John and Kim Jacobs love to ride quads at the desert and wanted a product they could ride in and still feel and...
Why I Read and Review Romance by Lynn Spencer, guest blogger and contributor to All About Romance. Follow her on Twitter @LynnAAR. So, why romance? Unless you've been living in very...
6-Word Memoir I've been tagged by Cindy from Go Workout Mom to write my memoir, but with only 6 words! Cindy had a very good one: "Ask,...
Review: Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie The cover on this book describes Bet Me to be “wickedly witty, deliciously sexy.” More than that, Jennifer Crusie’s story is tender and full of...
To say, my fate is not tied to your fate, is like saying, your end of the boat is sinking. Hugh Downs
Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life. It is a required course, and the exams are always tough to pass.
Charles Swindoll
These two quotes happened to be side by side in my miscellaneous quote file. I thought, I think they look like they could go together. So I’ve been thinking of them that way. I’m not sure how to tie them in so it would make sense if your thoughts weren’t following the same path. It’s easier for me to see it, than to write it.
Maybe it’s just the syncretism I see in tying them together. If all parts are necessary for the whole, then it stands to some sort of reason that we need all parts, that we are not as separate as we think.
I think we all learn forgiveness, but I’m not sure all-forgiveness is possible in this life (or maybe even a goal.) We do what we can with what we have, and throw some grace in that makes things possible that are not ordinarily possible, and that’s about all I can say about that. And somehow our fates are tied together, forgiveness or not. The required course is tough, but a passing grade is all that is required, not perfection. I think passing can be a sliding scale depending on what we are dealing with, do you? Mercy and grace cover a multitude of falling short of the goal, when we are still doing our best to see our way through.
And somehow, it makes me think, today, of the last HP book in the series. Maybe not the forgiveness part, but the entwined fates part. And how much friendship can make our path easier, even if it is hard.
And it made me laugh to think of only one end of a boat sinking. As if!
Happiness and intelligence One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if it were possible, speak a few reasonable words. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet, dramatist,...
Tools of the trade: Brushes There are a number of brushes you need in your arsenal in order to apply your colors in the best possible and easiest way. In general, I like real hair brushes, except for ones that...
When friendship comes around again Have you ever had an experience where friendship goes cold, or at least seems to, then comes around again? I think it shows the power of love or the grace of friendship where (and when)...
Tamping down prejudices I don't think there is a single soul walking around who doesn't have some prejudices. Maybe our prejudices serve to keep us safe -- or maybe we think they do anyway. Or maybe they come...
The things of this world The things of this world Always, there is far more beauty in this world than we are aware of. But enter the prodigious talents of someone like Jarbus Agnelli who transcribed the notes represented by...
Quarterly goal update I like to check in on my goals regularly to be sure that I'm making progress. (And also to make sure I haven't forgotten any...
Ground Strokes Guide pt 2 Continued from part one. 3 - Standing Sideways Whenever it is possible to do so, you should play your ground strokes from a hitting position...
I liked the progression of this quotation. Often one quality in thought leads to another, and it’s difficult to get off the treadmill. So it is important what qualities are in our progression of thought, or our progressive steps might be blocked by qualities that don’t allow a forward flow.
I’m not always as quick as I’d like to be in stopping a thought, but I work at it daily. I don’t think we have to think every thought that presents itself to our consciousness. We have a choice.
I was taught as a child to stand porter at the door of thought and only allow those thoughts in that are helpful. It was the natural way for me to think, but I have a friend who had never heard of the concept and didn’t know she had a choice in her thoughts, but of course, she knew she didn’t have to act on everything she thinks.
How about you? do you turn away thoughts or do you feel you have to think every thought that comes?
Karin
Hope is the seed of belief.
Belief is the seedling of faith.
Faith is the stem of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the flower of love.
Love is the blossom of life.
Author unknown but you can buy it at signals.com
It reminded me of the progression in this quote:
Phil4: 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV
The simple blessings of Christmas (short movie) This video came across my computer this morning, and it reminds us of what is important during this time. It's not the flutter or the flurries (snow or otherwise), it is the joy and love...
Ah, sweet licorice in tea and chocolate and perfumes I'm not one to eat a lot of black licorice, but I do like it. When our son was five, we had one of our most beloved exchange students from Finland. He came when he...
Jane Porter speaking about life I'm happy to share this online interview with Jane Porter. She was gracious to spend some time with us. I think you'll agree that she is a voice we'd like to hear more of. Jane,...
I saw the Spring 2010 Trollbeads I finally got a chance to see the new Trollbeads. I had been wanting to for a while. I was a very good girl. I did not buy any of them. I just looked and...
Thinking about friendships What is said in the chair, stays in the chair. My hair stylist. To have a friend, you have to be one. Karin Yesterday I found myself thinking about what constitutes friendship. Why are we...
Destruction in Hate Hate destroys by depletion. It shows itself in war with hate as the idea of conquest, and taking by force. But in fighting and destroying...
Florida Gators Watch With a Florida Gators watch, you will always know when it's Gators Football time! But with a high quality Florida Gators watch, you will also...
3 Reasons Why Couples Break Up Men and women are different, that is a given. We cannot live with each other and we cannot live without each other, creating the balance...
Comfort Wishes Fall is the time to let what is done be done, to let go of what no longer serves you. Sift through the bits and...
I’ve been thinking that some experiences take patience to the nth degree. Current estimates for new Chinese adoptions are running into the 2 yrs to 36 mos range. I thought our wait of 18 mos was a long wait. And, of course, I didn’t know it would be 18 mos when I began.
I told myself during that time (over and over) that patience is a virtue…and by definition, patience means you have to wait. (But I didn’t have to like it.) And so I waited and waited and waited. Some folks dropped out of the China program or pulled their dossiers, even as is happening today. I felt I’d leave my paperwork in. That was the only way it could possibly happen. (Which isn’t strictly true, as I know of at least two families who adopted their Chinese daughters in the US, not in China.) We never really know our path until it opens. My path was only to go to China, because nothing else opened up during that time.
If something is not changeable, try to see it as not broken. Try to find a little faith in the process and the unfolding of things. Despite our belief that things need our assistance, most of the amazing things in the world occur without our help, interference or assistance. We don’t have to tell the cells in our body to divide, we don’t have to tell a cut to heal. There is a power in the world. Trust that all things are moving toward the good, even when we don’t recognize it or see it. That is faith. Having patience is having faith.
In faith, you remember that no experience is wasted…You can afford to relax and let life unfold….
And remember that God and the universe are not ultimately just working on the situation: they’re working on you… The universe is concerned with who you are, and it will bring into your life, in whatever the situations, in whatever time, what you need to become the person you are supposed to be. p 179-181
I made a conscious choice not to join list servs for adoption at that time, because they were rife with rumors. All that did was give me two things to handle. Some folks can be so negative and bitter, filled with anger and resentment, that I wonder(ed) how that will affect them when they receive(d) their child. Would any child be good enough to take away all their negative feelings during the wait? No child deserves to have that kind of onus put on them.
Each person has to find their own way through a circumstance that requires patience. Try to take it a day at a time. Do something good for yourself.
The book also has chapters on Authenticity, Love, Relationships, Loss, Power, Guilt, Time, Fear, Anger, Play, Surrender, Forgiveness and Happiness.
We must unlearn the negative ways of thinking. We must practice unlearning. By practice I don’t mean practice being happy while walking in nature on a pleasantly cool, clear day. Practice being happy all the time, especially the next time circumstances are not terribly conducive to joy…practice not letting it interfere with your state of mind. p 217
Good advice. Maybe not so easy to follow, at least at times. And, on the other hand, if you know you enjoy walking in the cool of the evening, make a point of doing it and bringing happiness into the wait.
Making our lives a prayer Norris Burkes had another thought provoking column this week. Andi Bowsher, author of Praying the Pattern ...says , "Paul [when he said to pray without ceasing] was suggesting making life into prayer rather than making...
The Good Samaritan and the things we must do Norris Burkes has written a wonderful column again. Sometimes, we must do things. He tells of a time when he was asked to baptize a newborn who was not expected to live. His answer, at...
Defining a life Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself. Harvey Fierstein The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates. Thomas Szasz (1920-) American Psychiatrist Other people's opinion of...
50 ways to leave your lover, Paul Simon It's only fair to present the other side, after Valentine's Day. I always thought this song was clever. It might add a little humor to life if we thought of another word for lover --...
Life holds surprises History is a vast early warning system. Norman Cousins, 1915-1990 Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. Ralph Waldo Emerson I think these two quotations need to...
wait until tomorrow to change I entered accounting for a simple reason. Having spent time in Germany during high school as an exchange student, I was itching to get back. ...
Ten Martin Luther King Jr. quotes [/caption] On MLK Day, Let's remembers 12 Martin Luther King Jr. quotes and his 'I have a dream' speech. Martin Luther King Jr. quotes on...
Practice Of Reverence Some people proudly declare that they have no heroes, and that they worship nothing. This isn’t necessarily a negative statement, but it tends to be...
Lobster Elite Model 3 Tennis Ball Machine One of the best ways to practice tennis is to use a ball machine, but these can be expensive. If you have your own home...
Install The Fireplace For Your Comfort. Traditionally, it was and is considered that the fireplace is a symbol of warmth, coziness, elegance and comfort. Many people think that the design and...
It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined. Henry James
We lay the groundwork every day for the life we wish to live. There’s no better time to start than now.
What do you want to see in your life? where do you see your life heading?
I always say, think about what you want for the future, then take the steps today to get there. If I don’t want to wake up a bitter, old woman, the caricature of women, then I’d better handle it today. I don’t think you wake up embittered without going through a lot of days prior to that with some degree of bitterness.
Same with any other quality.
I think about this especially as it relates to the relationship I want to have with my children when they are grown. I know what I was like as I was separating into my adulthood. If I want a good relationship with my grown children, then I need a good relationship all along the way, at least insofar as it is possible. (Of course, being the mom is not always popular, because teaching and correcting along the way is the only way to be a good one.)
We have 2 kids plus College girl and a friend home today. CG is arranging her room so it is new and that there might be room to incorporate all the things from college. Littles have either spent the night or had friends spending the nights this weekend. It’s a full house, and we’re having fun. The stuff a life is made up of. There was even some couple time. How about that.
Life ain't always beautiful Gary Allan This is a beautiful song, with beautiful lyrics. I hope it touches you as it touches me. It fit in with the larger discussion of happiness. Karin Life ain't always beautiful Sometimes it's just plain...
Review The Children Of Huang Shi a.k.a. Escape From Huang Shi The Children Of Huang Shi a.k.a. Escape From Huang Shi starring Rhys Meyers, Chow Yun-Fat, Radha Mitchell and Michelle Yeoh, jumped out at me from the library shelves. I had not heard of it. My...
Blessed by a safety patrol kiddo Nearly every day I take my youngest to her elementary school. I enjoy spending this time spent with her, as I enjoyed spending it with her siblings. Some days it gives us the only real...
Space for recuperation Give yourself space for recuperation Give yourself a season of time to recuperate. Deliberately build into each week something that feels generally replenishing--it might be going to a museum once a week or having coffee...
The power of music Music defines the emotion of the heart. Healings take place. Chris Finlayson I've gone for long periods of time with very little music and long periods of time with a whole lot of music. Going...
American Gladiators Back on NBC! It was a great show, back in the day. There's little better than watching guys and girls struggle against some fierce competition in contests of...
A Mother's Struggle Between Work And Kids The following was written by Mrs FFB. As you may remember, before the school year started we made the decision that my wife wouldn't return...
2 Ways to Learn Acoustic Guitar When people are first learning to play the guitar, the acoustic type is generally recommended over the electric type. The main reason for this is...
What Are Your Kids Gift Expectations? I hear some people complain that they have to buy expensive things for their kids because it's what they expect. Some don't know what they...
I know anger is a universal emotion. But the juxtaposition of my short remark yesterday about dealing with my own angry anger was followed by receiving this message into my email box. I had to laugh. Again, I think this reaches way beyond the bounds of divorce, into universals.
Defining Anger
Day 59
Dr. Les Carter says that having anger means standing up for your own worth, needs, and convictions.
“You don’t get angry when folks are kind, pleasant, or understanding. Anger shows up when someone has rejected you or is being uncooperative, or when a person is being critical, harsh, or difficult to get along with. When anger appears on the scene, it arouses your sense of self-preservation.
“You want to preserve one of three things. You want to preserve your worth as a human being; your anger can be your way of wishing to say, ‘Please, show me some respect, will you?’ Anger can be your way of preserving your basic needs: ‘Recognize that I have needs, and acknowledge them, please.’ Or anger can be a way that you stand up for your deepest convictions. It is your way of saying, ‘I believe in things, and I don’t want to back away from them.’”
You will feel anger at some point in your divorce. [You fill in the blank for whatever is making you angry. Karin] Do not try to deny or suppress this emotion. God does not condemn you for your anger when it is justified. God Himself is described as “slow to anger”–not “never angry.”
“And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, ‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness’” (Exodus 34:6).
Lord God, sometimes my anger is justifiable; sometimes it’s not. Help me to be slow to anger, like You. Amen.
For more information about DivorceCare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please visit.
I can’t figure out if I have very little anger (because I hardly ever feel or express it) or if it is so sublimated and running so deep that I’d better get a handle on it. Who knows. I’m not going to waste any time over it. I imagine it’s a bit of both. The Serenity Prayer comes in handy at times:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr
It’s a truism that progress happens because of discontent, even anger. Otherwise, we’d still be living in caves.
A Bible verse I especially love is:
Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. KJV
Karin
I do not know about the workbook that is presented below as I have never seen it.
Suggested reading from the DivorceCare HelpCenter
The Anger Workbook
Les Carter
A 13-step interactive plan that explains how emotions and unmet needs can feed anger–and tells how readers can find healthy ways to express and control it. This unique workbook offers answers for anyone who struggles with destructive anger and wants to develop healthy alternatives for dealing with it. The only anger management program on the market that offers interactive exercises to help the readers understand and modify behavior.
Go to the following link to order this or other resources from the DivorceCare HelpCenter:
Hand feeding hummingbirds (and finances) Just when it seems like a bit of good news would be exceedingly welcomed, comes this true story (I've checked it with Snopes) about a woman hand feeding hummingbirds. Isn't it great that with the...
Glitter, glitter everywhere Do you like glitter in your beauty products? I remember the first time I saw glitter on someone. The girl was about age 10. I thought it was a new and fun look and one...
Running at the back of the pack Do you ever feel that the harder you run, the behinder you get? That running at the back of the pack is a metaphor for your life? A friend who began running some 10 or...
Neil Morris Fragrances, Part 2 his bespoke fragrances I could tell how much Neil loves creating perfumes by his gentle enthusiasm when he spoke with me. He is knowledgeable and enjoys sharing his gift with others. He speaks plainly but in layman's terms,...
Discussing hope by Joan Borysenko I'm currently reading Fire in the Soul: A New Psychology of Spiritual optimism. Again, I got this from the library until I knew if I would like to own it. (I'm currently reading several of...
The Beginning of the Call? Just save it ? read it ? The Beginning of the Call -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This chapter will present a brief account of the life of the Messenger of Allah (Allah's blessings and peace...
When 6 people all get along and count themselves friends, the angels are singing!
I am blessed to have a group of friends like this. The women are all friends, as are the men. It’s a nice mix of people. We have fun together; we commiserate together; we include each other’s kids, grown or not, as the occasion arises; we laugh a lot; we simply care about each other.
I count myself blessed.
It all began when one of the women who worked for my husband wanted to meet me. So she and a good friend who also worked for my husband brought their husbands, and we met for dinner on a Friday night. The rest is history. From that small beginning multiplied over many Friday nights, we are friends.
Some things that make me smile Sometimes I have to be awake enough to what's going on around me, like Peaceful Warrior, to realize the simple things that make me happy. >>>>> I love the various flowering bushes or trees, not...
Chinese villagers riot over stricter population-control When I entered into adopting from China, I wondered if my Chinese children would ever resent the time frame in which they were born. I figured that the door to China would close, likely sooner...
Twilight (the movie) We got to the theater about 10:45 last night, and they were letting us get our seats. They had sold out 4 theaters, which was probably par for the course, because one of the other...
Remind someone Today, remind someone how vital it is that they are at home with you. If they live away, tell them how important it is that they have a home in your heart. Helen Ramsey There...
Having a good support system Having a good support system is pretty much a necessity. It helps if you have grandparents (we don't). Lacking that, friends; sibs; people who become like -- or better than -- relatives, lacking relatives; a...
"Women Make Better Managers" is Bull$#!+ I'll be half of you that clicked through on that headline did so because you thought I was going to talk about how women make...
Men, Women, Housework and Sex! Housework has generally always been known as a woman's job. There have been umpteen arguments between the sexes over this subject and it seems almost...
Breast Cancer Diagnosis and Cause Understanding a breast cancer diagnosis often begins with understanding the causes of the cancer. This article is dealing with some of the causes that are...
My Life as a Volunteer Tax Preparer - Ch. 2.5 Another week in the volunteer office, another five taxpayers helped, and once again all women. Lucky me - they were all in relatively good moods...
Make me sweet again, Fragrant and fresh and wild, And thankful for any small event. Rumi
Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone. -Gladys Browyn Stern, writer (1890-1973)
It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad. Jimmy Buffet
God cannot fill our glass if we cover it up. Author unknown
Gratitude for the sweetness in life wherever it is found, while it may only be expressed in our thought, is never really silent. The angels hear. And it does ourselves good, because it focuses our thought on what is good in life. It helps us see a half-full glass in place of the half-empty one. I have to think that this spreads out to our dealings with others.
I find it helpful to train myself to think along these lines. It doesn’t always come easy. But I bring my thought up short, back into the alignment of noticing good around me.
I think of a time recently when it was all I could do to move past anger. What helped me that day was listening to music until I could participate again.
I refuse to become the caricature of a bitter old woman. There are too many good things in life to experience. I don’t think a person wakes up bitter or angry one day. I think it happens little by little, as bitterness takes over more territory, as it becomes a habit in many, many occurrences over time. I don’t intend to let it get a foot hold, if I have any say in the matter.
The power of music Music defines the emotion of the heart. Healings take place. Chris Finlayson I've gone for long periods of time with very little music and long periods of time with a whole lot of music. Going...
The art of reinvention ...reinvention...what can happen when circumstances permit you to evolve. Or, perhaps, force you to evolve. By 'reinvention' we mean specifically taking something that already exists and seeing what it can become. The creative process is...
A quote from Christopher Reeve "I've just decided I won't listen to the rules. How many people are walking around who have been told by a doctor, "Oh, I'm sorry, you've got six months to live"? It's just a hell...
All through the night (book) Suzanne Brockmann writes interesting books, and this is no exception. I stumbled across one of her books a few years ago. She writes military fiction (Navy Seals) with characters you enjoy, rolled up with passion...
Life isn't fair, but it's still good This was an internet forward. I do not know if the attribution is correct. Enough of them hit the spot to pass them on. Karin Lessons for Life By Regina Brett The Plain Dealer, Cleveland...
linklings, back on the chain gang edition I've alluded to it a few times, but after more than half a year staying away from corporate consulting I've decided to hop back on...
Our Bodies How are you today? Still Breathing. Breathing is good. I rather like it. Breathing and moving. So, we are all alive today? And kicking. Oh,...
It’s only fair to present the other side, after Valentine’s Day. I always thought this song was clever.
It might add a little humor to life if we thought of another word for lover — perhaps job or resentment or anger or…we aren’t stuck in unhappiness in life if we look for a way out. Sometimes that might even mean staying under new circumstances.
10 reasons to love cosmetics 10. Cosmetics enhance you -- you become the best you you can be. why not look your best ...: natural, fun, but enhanced. We’re not going to lie, that’s what cosmetics do, they enhance your...
The Frog Prince by Jane Porter The Frog Prince is a modern day fairy tale. Because I liked Flirting with Forty so well, I had high expectations for this one. In a mere 371 pages Holly goes from being a devastated,...
Find happiness within It seems like everyone and their brother is jumping on the bandwagon with inspirational sayings. I was surprised this morning to see the words on the side of one of my girl's Marble Slab ice...
Habit(s) Habit is God's way of making good automatic in your life. Robert Russell in You Try It We tend to think of habits as mostly negative or merely negative. What a lovely take on it,...
A woman with substance Our paper chronicles today a woman who is 105. She looks good! They say she has a spark. Here's some highlights: She began playing the drums at 12. A neighbor says of her: She's an...
Character-Building Thought Power – Part 2 Shall we notice another concrete case? A trite case, perhaps, but one in which we can see how habit is formed, and also how the...
Welcome to Nutrition Fitness Life Hello and welcome to Nutrition Fitness Life! I’m glad you’re here. This website will cover information pertaining to health, fitness, and nutrition. I hope you...
So What Does A Man Want In A Woman... by Tessa Radley, guest blogger and author of Millionaire Under the Mistletoe. I’ve been thinking a lot about heroines lately. About the careers they have,...
Give Place To Dark We created our Spiritual Darkness discussion group in Second Life to give place to the darker feelings and phases of the spiritual life. Their expression...
I woke the other morning thinking about forgiveness and asking/praying/thinking about how to give up any resentments that were lurking around…and trying to get a handle on it.
I’ve heard it said that forgiveness is being willing to give up your own idea of retribution and leave it to God.
I was thinking of a section in the popular book by Joel Osteen Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential. He speaks about a man whose hands were crippled with arthritis. Then the next time they saw him, his hands were perfect. The man told Joel’s father that he had taken to heart a sermon by Joel’s father about forgiveness. He began to eliminate resentment from his life, and one by one his fingers straightened out.
That was such a dramatic healing to me!
It’s fairly easy sometimes to see the need for it other people’s lives, and also to see wonderful examples of it in life, such as with the Amish community’s handling of the shootings that took place there. It is not so easy to root it out in my own life or even to recognize when it is hanging on, especially since I’m not the kind of person to hold onto vengeful thinking. I generally do let go of it, but I suppose memories hang on, at the least, though I don’t call them up very often.
I must have been still thinking about this quote:
Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy. Milton Erickson, M.D.
because I put the two things together with a Bible quote:
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. KJV
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. The Message
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. New Living Translation
Matt 6: 34
What I thought in a brief moment was that some of the painful things in life are those things that cause us resentment…and our responsibility is to give it up as best we can, to take the side of joy. There’s enough evil in a day not to bring in yesterday’s too. Or, to put it another way, today may have little evil per se, but we are re-living some bad times if we hang onto them with resentments. To have the most joy, we have to give up thinking about or reliving the painful moments.
Ah, but it ain’t easy.
Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace. – Buddha
Thinking about friendships What is said in the chair, stays in the chair. My hair stylist. To have a friend, you have to be one. Karin Yesterday I found myself thinking about what constitutes friendship. Why are we...
A little bit about patience I've been thinking that some experiences take patience to the nth degree. Current estimates for new Chinese adoptions are running into the 2 yrs to 36 mos range. I thought our wait of 18 mos...
Creative thinking part 1 again Finding a market for an idea -- and not taking no for an answer. I recently read an article about David Rowland and his 40/4 stackable chairs. (40 chairs stack in a 4 foot high...
50 ways to leave your lover, Paul Simon It's only fair to present the other side, after Valentine's Day. I always thought this song was clever. It might add a little humor to life if we thought of another word for lover --...
Review Go for No! by Richard Fenton & Andrea Waltz Go for No! by Richard Fenton & Andrea Waltz is a lovely little inspirational book on a par with Jonathan Livingston Seagull. While it is marketed towards business and increasing one's sales, it is applicable...
Generosity to Ourselves We begin with generosity to ourselves. Generosity is forgiving. Forgiving is powerful generosity, but it’s also in a sense greed. Because when you allow yourself...
Post 4th of July Roundup How was everybody's 4th of July? Did you enjoy your fireworks, BBQs, and family time? Better still did you all keep on your diets and...
Understanding Avocation If your calling is the philosopher, you function on meaning and principles, and if a situation seems to have no principle you feel lost. Me,...
Related Posts 
Pink Panther 2 We had a lot of fun seeing this movie yesterday. Of course, you know it's going to be silly, and it was. And some of the visuals were especially funny, how they ever thought of... 
has an interesting chapter on patience. Some of it reads like platitudes or something that wouldn’t be much help until you’d forged it out in your own life, but I liked the following.
. He speaks about a man whose hands were crippled with arthritis. Then the next time they saw him, his hands were perfect. The man told Joel’s father that he had taken to heart a sermon by Joel’s father about forgiveness. He began to eliminate resentment from his life, and one by one his fingers straightened out.
