My thoughts are with all who lost loved ones on this day.
May we always remember.
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresEntries Tagged 'Grief' ↓
A moment of silence for 9/11
September 11th, 2008 — Grief, Memory and forgetting
House Bunny (movie) (no spoilers)
August 25th, 2008 — Beauty, Cosmetics, Fashion, Grief, Humorous, Movies, Opportunity, Romance
I saw this movie today, and it was surprisingly funny. I hadn’t particularly wanted to go, but I was glad I did.
The entire audience laughed a lot. There were only a few really dumb things, and one character I could have written out, but the main character is so delightful and watchable and innocently kind that she is a pleasure to watch. And she holds many lessons.
There are a couple of questionable things for very young children and some bad language, but not a lot. My girls would love it, at 10 and 12. I think they can handle it.
Shelley (Anna Farris is charming in the part and makes the movie) is living the life of her dreams at the Playboy Mansion. She feels the mansion has given her the home she never had before. (The movie begins with a short montage of her early childhood spent in an orphanage, until she finally found acceptance and a sense of family. This is not dwelt upon, but you might need to be aware of it.)
Hugh Hefner plays himself in several cameos in the movie. It’s good to see his health has improved. I hadn’t realized he was in it.
When Hugh goes off for a time, immediately after Shelley’s 27th birthday party, she is presented with a letter from him giving her 2 hours to leave the premises as she is now ‘too old.’ 27 is now evidently 59 in Bunny years.
How she finds herself the housemother of what likely began as Zeta (Zeta Tau Alpha) but morphed into a close cousin in name, is part of the poignancy and fun. The girls in the house need to pledge 30 girls in order not to lose their charter. How she turns them into a viable sorority is a delight.
There is a typical sorority bitch that has shown up in several movies. (And there is a Bunny bitch too.) In a way this movie is like a female version of Sydney White, but we liked it better. (The theater rated it 3 out of 5.)
It’s easy to imagine Elle Woods living this life. (Colin Hanks plays her love interest.)
She’s definitely a likeable bimbo, and you can’t help but root for her. Many scenes touched my heart.
We went out happy.
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresThe Frog Prince by Jane Porter
August 20th, 2008 — Books, Friendship, Grief, Hope, Opportunity, Romance
The Frog Prince is a modern day fairy tale. Because I liked Flirting with Forty so well, I had high expectations for this one.
In a mere 371 pages Holly goes from being a devastated, whiny, soon-to-be divorcee to a sense of personal empowerment. Shortly after Holly marries, she finds her husband evidently never loved her, but felt railroaded into marriage. And he chooses the venue of desire (or lack of) to make his point in a harsh way. Holly is unable to accept what a complete jerk he is. She calls him when she is low and demeans herself more than once, until he basically tells her not to get in touch with him again.
And she thought he was in love with her? I wondered if she was only a field for his homosexuality. She never considers that seriously. I would under the circumstances. Even though he ends up in another heterosexual relationship, I’m not convinced, and I think he would do something similar again with another woman. Not a good bet, for sure. OTOH, Holly was particularly needy. This would be an issue, except the new woman is even ‘needier’ and he is even more railroaded into marriage, though he is the one making the choice, evidently. Give me a break. He’s adult enough to say what he means without a sham marriage.
Meantime, Holly is challenged at work by her boss who ends up sabotaging her. But along the way Holly proves her meddle, makes modest friends, and determines that friendship might be better than having a lover.
In the end, she finds herself and gives a new definition to good girl. She’s good, but she’s no pushover. When she comes out on top, you think, ‘It’s about time!”
I’m not entirely sure that someone who is so far from being empowered could be empowered in a short period of time. Maybe. But in RL, it’s probably harder to move out beyond old habits.
It’s hard for me to relate to her, because I can’t imagine myself this whiny, though I have been devastated more than once in my life in other sorrows. Well, perhaps one person’s whine or rant is another’s deep sorrow. Maybe I was whiny too, but I doubt it. I was grieving, but so is she.
I give it a 2.5. It’s only fair to say there are a lot of positive comments about this book, but it seemed less adult to me than Flirting with Forty, not that I don’t like a good romp with the best of them. This tries to be serious, to have serious subjects, but the connecting points aren’t as well connected.
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresHey Good Looking by Fern Michaels
August 13th, 2008 — Books, Forgiveness, Grief, Humor, Humorous, Relationships, Resentment, Romance
I enjoyed this book by Fern Michaels. It is only the second one I’ve read by her.
Central to the story are three sisters ranging in age upwards from 69. They were so funny to me, especially when they instigate a ‘kidnapping’ of sorts, which is really a rescue. I suppose what I like about them is that I want to be like them when I get to that point in life — feisty, involved, loving, fun to be around, engaged in what is going on around them, taking care of their families. I wasn’t enamored of the amount of drinking they did. And there is a brief mention of a child born and left to be raised in Japan.
Alongside their stories (and two brief forays into romance for two of them) is the story of their grown niece, interwoven with the stories of the historical nature of where they live, as well as those who live in their neighborhood.
Also central to the story is the subject of organ donation (which was done against the will of well-beloved character.) It ultimates in finding those who received the donations (by computer hacking) — and ultimately redemption.
It is a story of love, affirmation and good will, with a tidy ending, perhaps tidier than real life would be, but evidencing forgiveness.
I think I enjoyed it as much for the older women and their relationship to each other as anything. In some ways they reminded me of a beloved grandmother. While there are difficult subjects tackled, they are tackled in a light way. Sort of like the substance of whipped cream. Not real satisfying, but an attempt to be deeper than the average romance novel.
I give it a 2.5.
Karin
Flirting with Forty by Jane Porter
August 4th, 2008 — Books, Grief, Inspirational, Joy and happiness, Romance
This book is a coming of age book for the forty- or fifty- or sixty- year olds. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not only was it entertaining, it was affirming and real — or as real as it could be if you were in these circumstances.
Jackie Laurens is the divorced mother of two young children. She and her husband had grown apart in their twelve years of marriage, as people do, but the deciding factor was his affair. It’s hard to know if he did or didn’t, but he isn’t very nice at the moment, and she found out through emails.
Jackie finds her life turned upside down. It is lonely in many ways as she figures her way out after the divorce. Her long time friends don’t understand where she’s coming from. Their husbands are friends with her ex-. They all feel in some way she should have settled for what she had, not taken steps to correct it. But her husband is showing his true stripes in his dealings with her, so I figure she did the right thing. And they’d like her to date again. Basically, her friends would like it to be as it had been — that way they don’t have to think too hard about their own lives.
Complicating it all, is that in the midst of her heartache, her kids are being typical bratty kids with their sibling arguments, as well as repeating what they have obviously heard from their dad.
One of her group of friends, Anne, decides to treat the two of them to a few days in Hawaii. We know Anne’s husband isn’t enamored of the idea — and he gets sick moments before Anne is supposed to show up at the airport. And he gets well, just as quickly when she calls Jackie to say she won’t be showing, but Jackie should go on her own.
Jackie’s already at the airport, and her kids are at their dad’s. So she bites the bullet, gets upgraded to first class, and heads to Hawaii on her own. Somewhere in the last 12 years of marriage she has lost herself. The woman who used to have a spirit of adventure, who used to travel on her own with no qualms, fights against her better judgment in order to go ahead with the trip.
I loved her stream of consciousness as she finds out who she is again. Many women could identify with this and have found themselves at similar crossroads.
In some ways it reminds me of the book (and movie) that is similar to this whose name I have mercifully forgotten. The one where the author had a similar experience in RL.
Anyway, in Hawaii she finds Kai, the surf instructor who is significantly younger than she is, but at 30 to her turning 40, it is a doable age difference. She should count herself lucky! The alternatives were the older, paunchy guys, multiple married, rich, but creepy.
Of course, her friends and ex- are dead set against this match, never mind that her ex- is with a younger woman. But she travels back to Hawaii more than once to see him, finding happiness along the way. And she deserves it.
She talks about past miscarriages and experiences one in this book, for those who would find that hard.
I give it a 3.5. I think I’d like to read it again now that I know where it is heading. While it is chick lit, it is not typical. It has more thought in it, as well as being life encouraging and affirming for those of us who could use some.
You might like to know that Heather Locklear has been cast as Jackie in the Lifetime original movie of Flirting with Forty set to premiere December 2008.
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresWho or what is (on) your support team?
September 2nd, 2007 — Friendship, Grief, Just thinking, Opportunity
I’ve been thinking about Owen Wilson lately with sadness, as I imagine many of us have been.
I think at one time or another in our life most of us have secret sorrows, where our public persona is different than/from our private persona. And our thoughts may be far different than most people observing us from outside would expect.
It’s so important to have a support team!
Sometimes it is not the folks we thought might help us who are the ones who actually do. That’s an interesting observation too.
Is there someone you can confide in? someone who is in your corner? who will keep your confidences? someone (maybe a different someone) for whom you are their support team or on it? is there someone you can encourage to have a support team (and maybe you are that someone — maybe you need to remind yourself that you are the one who is in need of a support team and that you should not delay?)
It’s hard to let down the mask sometimes, to let someone in, or find an activity that supports you, whether it is church or temple, Weight Watchers, Curves, the Internet, the gym, an exercise buddy, a book club, art lessons, a knitting shop, or etc.
What is it that stands in the way of reaching out? depression? feeling (wrongly) unworthy or unloved? feeling, at least for the moment, that it is hopeless, that there is no help, or that no one would or does understand?
Do you know what gives you comfort if you feel down? a cup of tea? convo with a friend? window shopping? having more quiet time? pacing your tasks at home better? getting help? realizing you can’t do it all and figuring out a better way to do it? doing something to lessen anxiety, stress or tension? getting out in nature? making sure you or your life doesn’t get out of balance with too much running around and not enough thought?
If you are a caregiver, it’s important to let others share some of the tasks. Do you have a someone? or several someones? are you able to let them do it their way, to give them the space to help, even if it is different than the way you might do it? (who cares, if it shares the burden?) do you feel people would judge you if you didn’t do it all?
Do you have someone who counsels you in some manner — and do you listen? (Not all counselors are equal — some we would do well not to listen to.) A pastor? a therapist? a peer? a coach? a spiritual adviser? someone who’s BTDT and is farther along the road than you are?
Do you have a book — or several books — that you turn to consistently for solace and support? (Would you share here?)
Do you notice if things don’t seem right around you? are you open to intuitively knowing if someone is hurting? how do you know when to speak up or just to support silently? at what point would you feel it is imperative to ‘interfere’ or even do an intervention? are you deepening your level of friendships (and your compassion) so that someone might confide in you if they were in need?
Do you have a support team? do you need one? (we all do)…are you ready if you suddenly had a need you weren’t expecting? is it already in place? could you strengthen it in some way?
Do you have a support team? have you ever had to call in your cards and use it?
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresSeasons of Love - Rent
June 3rd, 2007 — Friendship, Grief, Music, Relationships, Spirituality and God
How do you measure love?
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresAll:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?
In Daylights - In Sunsets In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles In Laughter - In StrifeIn - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In LoveSeasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.Joanne:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Journeys To PlanFive Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A ManCollins:
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She DiedAll:
It’s Time Now - To Sing Out
Though The Story Never Ends
Let’s Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of FriendsRemember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure In LoveJoanne:
Oh you got to you got to remember the love,
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.ALL
Seasons Of Love(2x)Joanne:
Measure your life, measure your life in love
Engaging your whole heart in life
June 2nd, 2007 — Grief, Just thinking, Relationships, Spirituality and God
Thinking about grief here and one who is grieving…grief can be so deep, we haven’t any idea how to climb out. Passage of time isn’t always an answer. But being there for someone, can shorten the journey that we all make. The need for comfort calls forth the best in us as we walk alongside one who is grieving.
Believing that life is eternal still needs to be worked out in the nitty gritty of living. God values our hearts, both our joys and laughter and our sorrows and tears.
There are as many ways of getting through grief each day, as there are individuals who have the need to. Whatever works for you, is your answer. Honor yourself and your feelings. Try to find something that makes you happy each day, even as simple as appreciating a flower.
I haven’t anything profound to say about grief, except that the love we express to each other goes a long way to healing the heart. Love helps in place of words, and words without love are platitudes.
I would rather engage in life with my whole heart, even if that means there are times that are painful.
Here are some favorite quotes of mine that helped me along the way. Some I took as a promise; others as a confirmation that where I was in my journey was OK.
Please share any thoughts you have that would help someone who is grieving.
Karin
Related Articles Related StoresThose who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either. Golda Meir
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. -Eileen Mayhew
Grieving is the last act of love we perform for our loved ones. Father Tobin
When you believe you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of others. Andrew Solomon
… put … my tears into your bottle: are they not in your book? Ps 56: 8
…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Ps 30:5
God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give him all the pieces. Unknown author
He will turn your mourning into dancing… Ps 30:11
In the wake of my son, Khabar magazine
March 23rd, 2007 — Grief, Parenting, Quotations
I’ve mentioned before how much I like this magazine. An article that touched my heart came from the January issue, In the wake of my son, where the writer speaks of his son in the context of his sudden death at age 22. It offers some of his insights into his grief process. I think it is helpful for anyone who has grieved or is grieving.
Every day brought a different clutter of emotions that came from a kaleidoscope of broken feelings. I traveled through a jungle of changing emotions — bitterness, grief, anger, guilt, and a myriad of others …Jayant Kamicheril
And he tells some sweet stories that he remembers of his son who was quite astute as our kids often are. He said he struggled to explain the rationale behind his decision to divorce after a quarter century, and his son helped him with a quirky observation:
Getting married is mostly an irrational decision, but getting divorced is always a rational one. Anand Kamicheril
The article is worth reading.
Karin
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