I’ve mentioned before how much I like this magazine. An article that touched my heart came from the January issue, In the wake of my son, where the writer speaks of his son in the context of his sudden death at age 22. It offers some of his insights into his grief process. I think it is helpful for anyone who has grieved or is grieving.
Every day brought a different clutter of emotions that came from a kaleidoscope of broken feelings. I traveled through a jungle of changing emotions — bitterness, grief, anger, guilt, and a myriad of others …Jayant Kamicheril
And he tells some sweet stories that he remembers of his son who was quite astute as our kids often are. He said he struggled to explain the rationale behind his decision to divorce after a quarter century, and his son helped him with a quirky observation:
Getting married is mostly an irrational decision, but getting divorced is always a rational one. Anand Kamicheril
Raising women to be leaders Raising women to be leaders, an article by Carol Hymowitz, in the Jan 12, 2007 WSJ, features the four Sullivan sisters: Denise Sullivan, president of Campbell, USA; Maggie Sullivan Wildrotter, CEO of Citizens Communication; Colleen...
Review Percy Jackson movie If you loved Harry Potter, be sure not to miss Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. Book Girl and I went to the midnight showing last night, crazy people that we are. The...
Review Vitus (movie) Vitus is a charming movie, full of love, and I highly recommend it, if you have not seen it already. It is a slice of life I'd like to return to more than once. Beautifully...
100 Thing challenge What do you think, could you do it? I have to admit I've pared down some this week -- as have my kids without even being asked! -- and I've given away clothes and other...
Chinese adoptive child finds her family in China I was watching one about a young boy. But the one that finds her Chinese family is a 10 yr old girl. The video is in Dutch. Scroll down the left side to: spoorloos. The...
Great low cost Father's day gift ideas Photo by: Olaf Father's day is this weekend. Us Dad's are pretty easy to please and finding great gifts at a low price is pretty...
How $100 Could Save Your Child's Life Regular readers know that I have an affinity for professional football. Sometimes I take it much too seriously. I'm not proud of it, but that's...
Player Profile for Jack William Nicklaus Jack Nicklaus was born on January 21 in 1940, and is widely regarded as one of the greatest professional golfers of all time, known as...
Get Inspired Into Action I was reading this article @ CNN.com and I was inspired. The article is about Pastor Keith Troy and the New Salem Missionary Baptist Church....
I saw this movie today, and it was surprisingly funny. I hadn’t particularly wanted to go, but I was glad I did.
The entire audience laughed a lot. There were only a few really dumb things, and one character I could have written out, but the main character is so delightful and watchable and innocently kind that she is a pleasure to watch. And she holds many lessons.
There are a couple of questionable things for very young children and some bad language, but not a lot. My girls would love it, at 10 and 12. I think they can handle it.
Shelley (Anna Farris is charming in the part and makes the movie) is living the life of her dreams at the Playboy Mansion. She feels the mansion has given her the home she never had before. (The movie begins with a short montage of her early childhood spent in an orphanage, until she finally found acceptance and a sense of family. This is not dwelt upon, but you might need to be aware of it.)
Hugh Hefner plays himself in several cameos in the movie. It’s good to see his health has improved. I hadn’t realized he was in it.
When Hugh goes off for a time, immediately after Shelley’s 27th birthday party, she is presented with a letter from him giving her 2 hours to leave the premises as she is now ‘too old.’ 27 is now evidently 59 in Bunny years.
How she finds herself the housemother of what likely began as Zeta (Zeta Tau Alpha) but morphed into a close cousin in name, is part of the poignancy and fun. The girls in the house need to pledge 30 girls in order not to lose their charter. How she turns them into a viable sorority is a delight.
There is a typical sorority bitch that has shown up in several movies. (And there is a Bunny bitch too.) In a way this movie is like a female version of Sydney White, but we liked it better. (The theater rated it 3 out of 5.)
It’s easy to imagine Elle Woods living this life. (Colin Hanks plays her love interest.)
She’s definitely a likeable bimbo, and you can’t help but root for her. Many scenes touched my heart.
Review Vitus (movie) Vitus is a charming movie, full of love, and I highly recommend it, if you have not seen it already. It is a slice of life I'd like to return to more than once. Beautifully...
Review: Whip It Whip It is about girls' Roller Derby, directed by Drew Barrymore. She is also the executive producer and plays the part of Smashley Simpson. Whip It refers to a move whereby one of the teammates...
Peaceful Warrior, movie A friend and I went to see this movie tonight using our free tickets. You don't get deals like that very often! The theatre was quite crowded. I don't know how many were using free...
Building a life It's time to start living the life you've imagined. Henry James We lay the groundwork every day for the life we wish to live. There's no better time to start than now. What do you...
Remind someone Today, remind someone how vital it is that they are at home with you. If they live away, tell them how important it is that they have a home in your heart. Helen Ramsey There...
Fun Family Evenings in Los Altos If ever you are looking for a fun way to spend a lovely summer night out, check out the outdoor movie nights in Downtown Los...
less than three weeks to live photo credit: thengineer Today's post is a guest post from my wife, Bubelah. Last night we watched a movie - "Last Holiday" - and it...
Love of Movies: Edition #3 Welcome to the third edition of love of movies. There are some great reviews and fun links below on a variety of movies. I hope...
All:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure – Measure A Year?
In Daylights – In Sunsets In Midnights – In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches – In Miles In Laughter – In Strife
In – Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?
How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love
Seasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.
Joanne:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A Man
Collins:
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died
All:
It’s Time Now – To Sing Out
Though The Story Never Ends Let’s Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure In Love
Joanne:
Oh you got to you got to remember the love, You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.
ALL
Seasons Of Love(2x)
Joanne: Measure your life, measure your life in love
A life that is well lived This comes from a friend of mine who helped another friend celebrate her 102nd birthday! I asked her to tell me something about her friend. I think we tend to hear more of decrepitude than...
Sensuous by Estee Lauder Over the past few weeks I've sampled small bits of Sensuous because one of the local store's SAs was sharing her own small purse size with customers. I liked it well enough to try a...
Speaking of interesting older women I just heard about the oldest woman blogger, Olive Riley, aged 107 in 2007. [Unfortunately, she has now died. 2009] Her blog The Life of Riley is being typed by a younger friend who believes...
Mascara print ads Don't you think it is funny that every single mascara brand features a model with false eye lashes, while they are touting how great their mascara is? I don't doubt their mascara is good. For...
Bringing in the New Year We had a lovely New Year's Eve. We spent it with friends, as we've done for a number of years. I only know about 5 people there. Everybody brings their kids, if they have them,...
New Melones Lake New Melones Lake New Melones Lake is located in: Sonora, CA Phone: (209) 536-9094 About the Lake: New Melones Lake is a stunning...
Lake Amador Lake Amador is located in: Ione, CA Phone: (209) 274-4739 About the Lake: With 14 miles of shoreline and approximately 425 surface acres, Lake Amador...
Thinking about grief here and one who is grieving…grief can be so deep, we haven’t any idea how to climb out. Passage of time isn’t always an answer. But being there for someone, can shorten the journey that we all make. The need for comfort calls forth the best in us as we walk alongside one who is grieving.
Believing that life is eternal still needs to be worked out in the nitty gritty of living. God values our hearts, both our joys and laughter and our sorrows and tears.
There are as many ways of getting through grief each day, as there are individuals who have the need to. Whatever works for you, is your answer. Honor yourself and your feelings. Try to find something that makes you happy each day, even as simple as appreciating a flower.
I haven’t anything profound to say about grief, except that the love we express to each other goes a long way to healing the heart. Love helps in place of words, and words without love are platitudes.
I would rather engage in life with my whole heart, even if that means there are times that are painful.
Here are some favorite quotes of mine that helped me along the way. Some I took as a promise; others as a confirmation that where I was in my journey was OK.
Please share any thoughts you have that would help someone who is grieving.
Karin
Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either. Golda Meir
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. -Eileen Mayhew
Grieving is the last act of love we perform for our loved ones. Father Tobin
When you believe you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of others. Andrew Solomon
… put … my tears into your bottle: are they not in your book? Ps 56: 8
…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Ps 30:5
God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give him all the pieces. Unknown author
Another Elizabeth Buchan book: The good wife strikes back Elizabeth Buchan has the ability to get into your head, if you are lucky enough to be the subject of her novel(s.) Maybe unlucky enough. Who knows where self-knowledge or self-revelation would take you. In...
The Good Samaritan and the things we must do Norris Burkes has written a wonderful column again. Sometimes, we must do things. He tells of a time when he was asked to baptize a newborn who was not expected to live. His answer, at...
On prayer As a physician, I have seen men, after all other therapy has failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the serene effort of prayer. It is the only power in the world that seems...
1 Corinthians 13 for parents If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper -- not a homemaker. If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative...
Ayala Moriel Parfums, part 1 Ayala Moriel offers a lovely array of natural fragrances. Each one sounds tempting, if you love fragrance. She encourages you to try her samples so you will know what you really like before you buy...
Some Thoughts on Why I Homeschool My Children If you homeschool your children, you've probably heard comments from others like, "I really admire you," or "I could never do that!" For those of...
DKNY Be Delicious Perfume Review This is a review of the DKNY Be Delicious perfume by DKNY: Donna Karen New York. The DKNY Be Delicious perfume by DKNY is a...
Weakend: The Plutus Awards, Don't Vote For Me Someone who reads this blog on a semi-regular basis thought it would be cute to nominate this little cancer of the internet called Weakonomics for...
We Are The Actor To perform an act of hypnosis, you don’t have to understand my words. You don’t even have to be the same species as me. This...
Sometimes it doesn’t do to think too much about pain and suffering. The adage Into a life a little rain must fall is a truism none of us want to meet. Seriously.
And the painful world and individual events we see can overwhelm us to the point where, until we get our head above water, solutions seem illusive at best and more often impossible.
This isn’t a post about whose pain is greater or what constitutes pain. Pain is pain. If someone is in pain, whether it is something we think is painful is practically irrelevant.
If you are going through tough times, be kind to yourself.
The other day while surfing the Net I came to an interesting anonymous comment on a blog. It set me to thinking. I think you could interchange the words pain and suffering. And I’m not sure I’d agree with easily endured, maybe possibly more easily endured. Sometimes ya gotta endure it, easy or not. There isn’t any other life choice. But you don’t have to like it!
Pain is often easily endured if it has a noble purpose. Suffering is pain that is lacking in purpose. When we care for others, even if it may cause us difficulty, it is our calling, and has purpose.
On the flip side, if we are suffering, we can search for the purpose. What do we need to learn? How can we grow? How can we become stronger through the pain (analogy- weight lifting)? Often suffering can be transformed into healing when the purpose is revealed and aligned to God’s light of truth and love. Anonymous
I liked the idea of searching for a purpose in pain, even a noble one, not that we always see a purpose, especially in the moment. That is too simplistic. But in the analogy given, if we are caring for a loved one and it is difficult, there is a transcendent purpose in it, even if we can’t see it, or if we have to fight to see it.
When I think of people who have gone through some difficult circumstance, some terrible grief or tragedy, then go on to use that circumstance to help others, I see that a purpose is found, sometimes changing life directions. Out of that difficult circumstance meaning is forged.
It might not take away grief, but it gives an energy to life’s endeavors. It is more than taking life’s lemons to make lemonade. That hardly defines it. It is wresting it out of the rock.
I was touched by this modern day example:
Fighting to change adoption laws in Korea, Jane Trenka, a Korean adoptee, when asked why she is devoting herself to this cause says:
“For my mother. My mother died but if I don’t try to change things, my suffering has no meaning.” Jane Trenka
Have you found times in your life when your life changed directions or your energies were directed when finding meaning in life’s difficulties?
Opinions that differ An open mind is a prerequisite to an open heart. -Robert M. Sapolsky, neuroscientist and author (1957- ) It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history...
Alphabet for life I like each of these. It's a toss up which one is more appropriate for any given day. Nurture hope, pack lightly, quell rumors... all speak to Chinese adoption at the moment, and to other...
Inner peace for busy people I'm enjoying the book Inner Peace for Busy People by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. It is divided into 52 topics "simple strategies for transforming your life." One reviewer wrote that he reads with a pen, and...
To show how birthmother thoughts come in the midst of life The Grocery List Grocery List: Butter Eggs Milk Pasta Sitting, looking at this list things I need but can do without One more thing needs to be added thing I need but can't do without...
Living a passionate life What is the purpose of this life? Do you keep living until you have had all the best experiences? When is life complete? How many years would you want to keep living? Or do you...
Does Your Paycheck Have an Expiration Date? [/caption] Meet Carl Clay, a former medical director for a pharmaceutical communications firm. He lost his job in December of 2008 and it took him...
Love Yourself and Other People Will Love You, Too! The key to successful interpersonal relationships is having a good relationship with yourself. For many people though, possessing the right amount of self-love is an extremely...
Comparing Life Insurance Policies pt 4 Speaking of Variable Universal Life Insurance… What are the disadvantages of this type of insurance? As we said before, if you experience a significant drop...
A friend loaned me her copy of the book eat, pray, love, because she liked it so well and felt I would too. I knew by the first few pages that I wanted a copy of my own.
It took me quite a while to work my way through the book, but in that way I could savor it. It’s a rare book that is so enjoyable.
Gilbert has a wonderful way with words.
And the good news is that it is being made into a movie with Julia Roberts starring. That should be interesting!
The book is her chronicle of searching across Italy (where she eats her way, while learning Italian), India (where she is in an Ashram searching for God, finding herself in silent devotion and in words and communion with others), and Bali (where she finds love and helps a woman buy a home.)
Along the way we see her work through the angst of her difficult divorce. She moves from a sense of no belief to profundity. It is by turns funny, touching, endearing, sad…
If you’ve read it, how did you like it? And if you haven’t, treat yourself.
How do you read a book? Do you read a book from the first page to the last? Do you read the ending first? Do you skip around and reread sections when you come to them again? Do you read books...
LOTD NYX Rhea alone and + MAC Popster + Beauté Allure What a difference a little tweaking makes! I love to tweak lipstick colors and looks. I'd never seen it done so consistently as the DVD on Arbonne Impact Your Image by Krista Embry. She never...
Review: Update: Kindle 2 ebook reader UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE NEWS FLASH Amazon is keeping up with the competition This arrived in my mailbox this morning: Dear Kindle Customers, A new Kindle software update is now available and will be automatically delivered...
Reading and movies What is reading, but silent conversation. Walter Savage Landor, writer (1775-1864) I love the idea that reading is silent conversation. The books that touch us most fall into that category. Right now I am especially...
Baby selling in China What a tragedy for all the babies and their birth families. While I was aware of baby selling in parts of the world when I adopted from China, 10 and 12 years ago, I didn't...
Bikini Bootcamp With summer coming, many of us are focusing on how we're going to look at the beach or the pool. There is a lot of...
Books: Get Your Motivation Back! With January over, many people will be either be well on the way to making their new years resolutions or have already ditched them. If...
Recognizing the signs of a family facing foreclosure Free Money Finance recently had an acquaintance of his go into foreclosure, and the signs of trouble were clear in retrospect. People don't advertise that...
FOTD Arbonne Smoky eyes + lips The Smoky Eye look is one of two eye sets that Arbonne has put together. Judging from how beautiful it looks on the model and how beautiful the Audrey Eye look is in the travel...
Hand feeding hummingbirds (and finances) Just when it seems like a bit of good news would be exceedingly welcomed, comes this true story (I've checked it with Snopes) about a woman hand feeding hummingbirds. Isn't it great that with the...
50 hugs or kisses or love pats or... I'm always on the lookout for fun things to do with my kids. One of my friends had a 50th birthday not too long ago and among the decorations were a number of (black, haha)...
OK, be honest now, who's going to see Indy? Count us in. We are going. I'm not sure if we will take the 12 and 10 year olds, but the other three of us will go. We had an Indy marathon the other night...
Chinese villagers riot over stricter population-control When I entered into adopting from China, I wondered if my Chinese children would ever resent the time frame in which they were born. I figured that the door to China would close, likely sooner...
Player Profile: Fred Couples Fred Couples may not have the star power of some of today’s younger players, but for many, his path to becoming one of the most...
Palladium Coins Coins and Paper Money -> Bullion -> Platinum and Palladium Palladium coins are extremely rare and they are one of the most valuable types of...
Bad Memory Pill? Bad memories may be a thing of the past thanks to a new pill that may help you forget all about them. The beta-blocker drugs...
9/11 2008 I apologize for going off topic today. I went back and forth trying to decide whether I should write a 9/11 post. On the one...
Ways Can Help Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If your girlfriend broke up with you and you need to get your ex girlfriend back, keep reading. Guess what? 9 times out of every...
The Frog Prince is a modern day fairy tale. Because I liked Flirting with Forty so well, I had high expectations for this one.
In a mere 371 pages Holly goes from being a devastated, whiny, soon-to-be divorcee to a sense of personal empowerment. Shortly after Holly marries, she finds her husband evidently never loved her, but felt railroaded into marriage. And he chooses the venue of desire (or lack of) to make his point in a harsh way. Holly is unable to accept what a complete jerk he is. She calls him when she is low and demeans herself more than once, until he basically tells her not to get in touch with him again.
And she thought he was in love with her? I wondered if she was only a field for his homosexuality. She never considers that seriously. I would under the circumstances. Even though he ends up in another heterosexual relationship, I’m not convinced, and I think he would do something similar again with another woman. Not a good bet, for sure. OTOH, Holly was particularly needy. This would be an issue, except the new woman is even ‘needier’ and he is even more railroaded into marriage, though he is the one making the choice, evidently. Give me a break. He’s adult enough to say what he means without a sham marriage.
Meantime, Holly is challenged at work by her boss who ends up sabotaging her. But along the way Holly proves her meddle, makes modest friends, and determines that friendship might be better than having a lover.
In the end, she finds herself and gives a new definition to good girl. She’s good, but she’s no pushover. When she comes out on top, you think, ‘It’s about time!”
I’m not entirely sure that someone who is so far from being empowered could be empowered in a short period of time. Maybe. But in RL, it’s probably harder to move out beyond old habits.
It’s hard for me to relate to her, because I can’t imagine myself this whiny, though I have been devastated more than once in my life in other sorrows. Well, perhaps one person’s whine or rant is another’s deep sorrow. Maybe I was whiny too, but I doubt it. I was grieving, but so is she.
I give it a 2.5. It’s only fair to say there are a lot of positive comments about this book, but it seemed less adult to me than Flirting with Forty, not that I don’t like a good romp with the best of them. This tries to be serious, to have serious subjects, but the connecting points aren’t as well connected.
Ayala Moriel parfums, Part 4 Down to my last two to review. I've been wearing these for the past few days. Film Noir and Razala. Ayala chose Razala for me based on what I emailed were the notes I liked...
Review The Children Of Huang Shi a.k.a. Escape From Huang Shi The Children Of Huang Shi a.k.a. Escape From Huang Shi starring Rhys Meyers, Chow Yun-Fat, Radha Mitchell and Michelle Yeoh, jumped out at me from the library shelves. I had not heard of it. My...
In praise of books In Praise of Books A book is a garden you can hold in your hand, An orchard you can take on your lap. A book is a companion who sleeps Only when you are asleep,...
Thinking about friendships What is said in the chair, stays in the chair. My hair stylist. To have a friend, you have to be one. Karin Yesterday I found myself thinking about what constitutes friendship. Why are we...
Life is precious Children are precious, no matter what route they take to come into our families. Whatever emotional, physical or other work we do to create a family is more than worth it in the end. Laura,...
Marriage Encounters : Leaving vs Celibacy Over a sparkling glass, or two, of champagne together with a few of my favorite girlfriends, the subject jokingly turned to our Top 10 Annoying...
Save Time, Money and Space in Over 80 Ways If you're looking for handy gadgets, tools and various items that can save you time, money or space (or all three!) this list of more...
Fishing Report: September 18, 2009 Let's see where the fishing action is at this week. Bay Fishing Where are plenty of White Sea bass to be had in the bay...
I enjoyed this book by Fern Michaels. It is only the second one I’ve read by her.
Central to the story are three sisters ranging in age upwards from 69. They were so funny to me, especially when they instigate a ‘kidnapping’ of sorts, which is really a rescue. I suppose what I like about them is that I want to be like them when I get to that point in life — feisty, involved, loving, fun to be around, engaged in what is going on around them, taking care of their families. I wasn’t enamored of the amount of drinking they did. And there is a brief mention of a child born and left to be raised in Japan.
Alongside their stories (and two brief forays into romance for two of them) is the story of their grown niece, interwoven with the stories of the historical nature of where they live, as well as those who live in their neighborhood.
Also central to the story is the subject of organ donation (which was done against the will of well-beloved character.) It ultimates in finding those who received the donations (by computer hacking) — and ultimately redemption.
It is a story of love, affirmation and good will, with a tidy ending, perhaps tidier than real life would be, but evidencing forgiveness.
I think I enjoyed it as much for the older women and their relationship to each other as anything. In some ways they reminded me of a beloved grandmother. While there are difficult subjects tackled, they are tackled in a light way. Sort of like the substance of whipped cream. Not real satisfying, but an attempt to be deeper than the average romance novel.
Review: Can you keep a secret? by Sophie Kinsella Recently a friend gave me this book for Kindle. I have to say it was a delight. 522 people have rated this book 4 1/2 stars at Amazon, so I am in good company. The...
Discuss: Hair styles that make you look older Allure talks about hairstyles that are aging. Let's discuss! A good hair stylist is hard to find One of the hardest things to find is a good hair stylist, one who understands your hair, how...
How not to look or be old Recently I've been thinking about the subject of youth and age and what constitutes beauty. Is beauty cookie cutter, the way some plastic surgeons make their patients? Does everyone have to look the same? Is...
Living life in delightful anticipation I loved the idea of living by delight vs. worry. A good reminder. Karin My friend's daughter wanted an "A" in algebra. And because her teacher had a schoolwide reputation for being tough, she knew...
Inner peace for busy people I'm enjoying the book Inner Peace for Busy People by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. It is divided into 52 topics "simple strategies for transforming your life." One reviewer wrote that he reads with a pen, and...
Real Stories of Law of Attraction Success [/caption] The Law of Attraction is a high sounding theory until you see how it works for real people. That's when you find these principles...
Grace Groner -Model Millionaire A 'secret millionaire' Grace Groner on passing has donated SEVEN MILLION dollars to here alma mater, Lake Forest College. And no one had a clue...
This book is a coming of age book for the forty- or fifty- or sixty- year olds. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not only was it entertaining, it was affirming and real — or as real as it could be if you were in these circumstances.
Jackie Laurens is the divorced mother of two young children. She and her husband had grown apart in their twelve years of marriage, as people do, but the deciding factor was his affair. It’s hard to know if he did or didn’t, but he isn’t very nice at the moment, and she found out through emails.
Jackie finds her life turned upside down. It is lonely in many ways as she figures her way out after the divorce. Her long time friends don’t understand where she’s coming from. Their husbands are friends with her ex-. They all feel in some way she should have settled for what she had, not taken steps to correct it. But her husband is showing his true stripes in his dealings with her, so I figure she did the right thing. And they’d like her to date again. Basically, her friends would like it to be as it had been — that way they don’t have to think too hard about their own lives.
Complicating it all, is that in the midst of her heartache, her kids are being typical bratty kids with their sibling arguments, as well as repeating what they have obviously heard from their dad.
One of her group of friends, Anne, decides to treat the two of them to a few days in Hawaii. We know Anne’s husband isn’t enamored of the idea — and he gets sick moments before Anne is supposed to show up at the airport. And he gets well, just as quickly when she calls Jackie to say she won’t be showing, but Jackie should go on her own.
Jackie’s already at the airport, and her kids are at their dad’s. So she bites the bullet, gets upgraded to first class, and heads to Hawaii on her own. Somewhere in the last 12 years of marriage she has lost herself. The woman who used to have a spirit of adventure, who used to travel on her own with no qualms, fights against her better judgment in order to go ahead with the trip.
I loved her stream of consciousness as she finds out who she is again. Many women could identify with this and have found themselves at similar crossroads.
In some ways it reminds me of the book (and movie) that is similar to this whose name I have mercifully forgotten. The one where the author had a similar experience in RL.
Anyway, in Hawaii she finds Kai, the surf instructor who is significantly younger than she is, but at 30 to her turning 40, it is a doable age difference. She should count herself lucky! The alternatives were the older, paunchy guys, multiple married, rich, but creepy.
Of course, her friends and ex- are dead set against this match, never mind that her ex- is with a younger woman. But she travels back to Hawaii more than once to see him, finding happiness along the way. And she deserves it.
She talks about past miscarriages and experiences one in this book, for those who would find that hard.
I give it a 3.5. I think I’d like to read it again now that I know where it is heading. While it is chick lit, it is not typical. It has more thought in it, as well as being life encouraging and affirming for those of us who could use some.
You might like to know that Heather Locklear has been cast as Jackie in the Lifetime original movie of Flirting with Forty set to premiere December 2008.
Review Arranged Arranged is one of those sweet movies that I just can't say enough good about. A friend recommended this movie to me, and she had it Tivo'ed, so we were able to watch it. She...
Respite care I think respite care begins with ourselves. We have to know (or seek to know) what we need, then take some steps, even baby steps, to find space in our lives for respite. We need...
Review Love Happens Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in the film Love Happens. It is not a romantic comedy, but a romantic drama. There are moments of humor breaking the seriousness. And a really cute bird. The...
Mystery cat takes regular bus to the shops This is a cute story and just makes my day, plus the cat is one gorgeous cat! To see pictures of the cat, go here. Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it...
Finding happiness One thing I know, I'm not happy here, but would I be happy anywhere else? ...Having been blown sideways by life, or shoved by my parents, we've never had the time or privilege to think...
A Mother's Struggle Between Work And Kids The following was written by Mrs FFB. As you may remember, before the school year started we made the decision that my wife wouldn't return...
Review of Millionaire By Thirty Douglas Andrew’s book reads like a rejected first draft of Rich Dad, Poor Dad and right off the bat, it’s kitschy premise (ripped right from...
I’ve been thinking about Owen Wilson lately with sadness, as I imagine many of us have been.
I think at one time or another in our life most of us have secret sorrows, where our public persona is different than/from our private persona. And our thoughts may be far different than most people observing us from outside would expect.
It’s so important to have a support team!
Sometimes it is not the folks we thought might help us who are the ones who actually do. That’s an interesting observation too.
Is there someone you can confide in? someone who is in your corner? who will keep your confidences? someone (maybe a different someone) for whom you are their support team or on it? is there someone you can encourage to have a support team (and maybe you are that someone — maybe you need to remind yourself that you are the one who is in need of a support team and that you should not delay?)
It’s hard to let down the mask sometimes, to let someone in, or find an activity that supports you, whether it is church or temple, Weight Watchers, Curves, the Internet, the gym, an exercise buddy, a book club, art lessons, a knitting shop, or etc.
What is it that stands in the way of reaching out? depression? feeling (wrongly) unworthy or unloved? feeling, at least for the moment, that it is hopeless, that there is no help, or that no one would or does understand?
Do you know what gives you comfort if you feel down? a cup of tea? convo with a friend? window shopping? having more quiet time? pacing your tasks at home better? getting help? realizing you can’t do it all and figuring out a better way to do it? doing something to lessen anxiety, stress or tension? getting out in nature? making sure you or your life doesn’t get out of balance with too much running around and not enough thought?
If you are a caregiver, it’s important to let others share some of the tasks. Do you have a someone? or several someones? are you able to let them do it their way, to give them the space to help, even if it is different than the way you might do it? (who cares, if it shares the burden?) do you feel people would judge you if you didn’t do it all?
Do you have someone who counsels you in some manner — and do you listen? (Not all counselors are equal — some we would do well not to listen to.) A pastor? a therapist? a peer? a coach? a spiritual adviser? someone who’s BTDT and is farther along the road than you are?
Do you have a book — or several books — that you turn to consistently for solace and support? (Would you share here?)
Do you notice if things don’t seem right around you? are you open to intuitively knowing if someone is hurting? how do you know when to speak up or just to support silently? at what point would you feel it is imperative to ‘interfere’ or even do an intervention? are you deepening your level of friendships (and your compassion) so that someone might confide in you if they were in need?
Do you have a support team? do you need one? (we all do)…are you ready if you suddenly had a need you weren’t expecting? is it already in place? could you strengthen it in some way?
Do you have a support team? have you ever had to call in your cards and use it?
The Thank You Campaign A friend sent me this youtube video today. It seems appropriate to post at this time of year, Thanksgiving in America where I live, and while it is directed at thanking the military men and...
The simple blessings of Christmas (short movie) This video came across my computer this morning, and it reminds us of what is important during this time. It's not the flutter or the flurries (snow or otherwise), it is the joy and love...
When you are burnt out -- toast! I don't know about you, but while generally I feel balanced about my life because I have learned to pace myself, every once in a while the proverbial s(tuff) (ha!) hits the fan, and I...
Can someone explain why... I've been surprised lately by the number of times I've been around people who dismiss out of hand experiences and ideas that might be of interest or a help to them. Maybe I notice it...
When do you know a friendship is over? The loss of some friendships hits at a visceral level. On the other hand some friendships just kind of drift away from lack of contact or interest(s.) When growing up, I had serial best friends....
We Are All In This Together; Let's Start Acting Like It. Some days it feels like the world is coming apart, doesn't it? Hurricanes, tsunamis, the economy collapsing, the health care crisis, an increasingly bitter election...
The Perfect Support Hosting Support An IntroductionImagine yourself as a person running a small-medium sized online store that concentrates on affordably prized gift items, and say, it's Christmas...
How to Freshen Up Your Bathroom Most of us go to the bathroom to freshen up, but there are a few easy tips you can use to freshen up the entire...
Florida Gators Helmet If you're looking for a unique piece of memorabilia that can help you cherish the great times that the Florida Gators team has had through...
Related Posts 
Raising women to be leaders Raising women to be leaders, an article by Carol Hymowitz, in the Jan 12, 2007 WSJ, features the four Sullivan sisters: Denise Sullivan, president of Campbell, USA; Maggie Sullivan Wildrotter, CEO of Citizens Communication; Colleen... 
