Savvy Thinker » Emotions http://savvythinker.com thinking about life, playing with makeup Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:10:41 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Who or what is (on) your support team? http://savvythinker.com/who-or-what-is-on-your-support-team/ http://savvythinker.com/who-or-what-is-on-your-support-team/#comments Sun, 22 Jan 2012 12:28:48 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/09/02/who-or-what-is-on-your-support-team/

I've been thinking about Owen Wilson lately with sadness, as I imagine many of us have been.

I think at one time or another in our life most of us have secret sorrows, where our public persona is different than/from our private persona. And our thoughts may be far different than most people observing us from outside would expect.

It's so important to have a support team!

Sometimes it is not the folks we thought might help us who are the ones who actually do. That's an interesting observation too.

Is there someone you can confide in? someone who is in your corner? who will keep your confidences? someone (maybe a different someone) for whom you are their support team or on it? is there someone you can encourage to have a support team (and maybe you are that someone -- maybe you need to remind yourself that you are the one who is in need of a support team and that you should not delay?)

It's hard to let down the mask sometimes, to let someone in, or find an activity that supports you, whether it is church or temple, Weight Watchers, Curves, the Internet, the gym, an exercise buddy, a book club, art lessons, a knitting shop, or etc.

What is it that stands in the way of reaching out? depression? feeling (wrongly) unworthy or unloved? feeling, at least for the moment, that it is hopeless, that there is no help, or that no one would or does understand?

Do you know what gives you comfort if you feel down? a cup of tea? convo with a friend? window shopping? having more quiet time? pacing your tasks at home better? getting help? realizing you can't do it all and figuring out a better way to do it? doing something to lessen anxiety, stress or tension? getting out in nature? making sure you or your life doesn't get out of balance with too much running around and not enough thought?

If you are a caregiver, it's important to let others share some of the tasks. Do you have a someone? or several someones? are you able to let them do it their way, to give them the space to help, even if it is different than the way you might do it? (who cares, if it shares the burden?) do you feel people would judge you if you didn't do it all?

Do you have someone who counsels you in some manner -- and do you listen? (Not all counselors are equal -- some we would do well not to listen to.) A pastor? a therapist? a peer? a coach? a spiritual adviser? someone who's BTDT and is farther along the road than you are?

Do you have a book -- or several books -- that you turn to consistently for solace and support? (Would you share here?)

Do you notice if things don't seem right around you? are you open to intuitively knowing if someone is hurting? how do you know when to speak up or just to support silently? at what point would you feel it is imperative to 'interfere' or even do an intervention? are you deepening your level of friendships (and your compassion) so that someone might confide in you if they were in need?

Do you have a support team? do you need one? (we all do)...are you ready if you suddenly had a need you weren't expecting? is it already in place? could you strengthen it in some way?

Do you have a support team? have you ever had to call in your cards and use it?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-09-02 12:53:37.

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A friend sent me a card with these words on it. I've seen it attributed to either Emerson or ee cummings.

The earth laughs in flowers.

Now the card is front and center to my computer screen where I see it daily.

I wish I knew why it seems like negatives grab consciousness quicker and stay longer than happiness, which seems so fleeting. I try to reverse the emphasis by being conscious (and keeping lists) of unexpected happy moments. They feel especially like serendipitous gifts, if I'm having a low moment.

This is a reminder to me that joy is found in places and moments that we might not recognize if we don't consciously let it register. It reminds me to be childlike -- to notice the interesting bug or the flowers in someone's garden or the wildflowers that are profuse along certain roadways. These are moments of happiness mitigating the adult issues that we all face in some form or other. Nature is a gift, freely given.

It just tickles my fancy to think of the earth, laughing, in flowers. A kind of celestial hiccup. And there's another one. And another one. Just like happiness.

I tell a friend that we need to string together moments of healing and happiness, as if the moments were pearls. No one focuses on the knots in a strand of pearls, just the pearls. So too, the knotty issues of life should fade into the background of our happier moments.

I made a bracelet with small sized alphabet beads and crystals using this quote so that it would be before my consciousness as I go about my day. There are even little crystal flowers on it and a butterfly.

img_2106

I can always use more conscious happiness. How about you!

Karin

Originally posted 2009-06-01 12:10:17.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/finding-happiness-in-the-moments/feed/ 2 Most inspirational, Free hug campaign first YTAwards http://savvythinker.com/most-inspirational-free-hug-campaign-first-ytawards/ http://savvythinker.com/most-inspirational-free-hug-campaign-first-ytawards/#comments Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:47:29 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/03/27/most-inspirational-free-hug-campaign-first-ytawards/

A video calling for a free hugs campaign won for most inspirational in youtubes first winners.

I have a friend who is known for her bear hugs. If you need a hug, all you have to do is be in her presence.

Karin

Here's the youtube video that made it a sensation:

Here's Juan Mann's thank you:

Originally posted 2007-03-27 19:59:14.

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To say, my fate is not tied to your fate, is like saying, your end of the boat is sinking. Hugh Downs

Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life. It is a required course, and the exams are always tough to pass.
Charles Swindoll

These two quotes happened to be side by side in my miscellaneous quote file. I thought, I think they look like they could go together. So I've been thinking of them that way. I'm not sure how to tie them in so it would make sense if your thoughts weren't following the same path. It's easier for me to see it, than to write it.

Maybe it's just the syncretism I see in tying them together. If all parts are necessary for the whole, then it stands to some sort of reason that we need all parts, that we are not as separate as we think.

I think we all learn forgiveness, but I'm not sure all-forgiveness is possible in this life (or maybe even a goal.) We do what we can with what we have, and throw some grace in that makes things possible that are not ordinarily possible, and that's about all I can say about that. And somehow our fates are tied together, forgiveness or not. The required course is tough, but a passing grade is all that is required, not perfection. I think passing can be a sliding scale depending on what we are dealing with, do you? Mercy and grace cover a multitude of falling short of the goal, when we are still doing our best to see our way through.

And somehow, it makes me think, today, of the last HP book in the series. Maybe not the forgiveness part, but the entwined fates part. And how much friendship can make our path easier, even if it is hard.

And it made me laugh to think of only one end of a boat sinking. As if!

Karin

Originally posted 2007-07-20 16:55:20.

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When this song is cleaned up, as for Glee, it is "Forget you" -- but this is the unretouched version. And she makes me smile through it.

I hope this makes your day, especially if a break up has been part of your experience.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/f-you-asl/feed/ 0 Happily ever after…and then some! http://savvythinker.com/happily-ever-afterand-then-some/ http://savvythinker.com/happily-ever-afterand-then-some/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:27:24 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/05/17/happily-ever-afterand-then-some/

What do you think about happily ever after? does it exist? does it exist only in fairy tales? do we make a lot of our happiness by at least looking for it, if it seems elusive? Often we don't have to look out from where we are to find happy moments.

Shrek 3 is coming out soon and many of us are looking forward to it. I read an article about the concept behind this series a couple of days ago. I suppose we'd call it a fairy tale for adults that can also be enjoyed by children. Clever concept anyway, and perhaps more empowering than thinking a white knight will sweep into our lives. Do men ever expect this -- a Cinderella to appear and sweep them off their feet -- or is this strictly a female genre?

It's what happens after the ever after that makes life interesting and human. That particular mix that each life holds of happiness and sorrow, excitement and ennui, work and play...the day to day stuff that makes up a life, none of which is mundane when seen as a thread of moments strung together that makes a life.

How is your ever after and then some?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-05-17 20:57:57.

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This is from a guest writer today, Keira of Love Romance Passion.

Grace, Generosity, and Gratitude for Christmas -- the 3 Gs

The meaning of Christmas is ever growing and yet still incredibly timeless and practical. This year for me three words stood out above the rest. They are grace, generosity, and gratitude.

Grace – Everyone should want to experience a growth in grace this Christmas.

What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds. - Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, page 4, lines 3-5.

This is the time to be the most gracious, express even more goodwill, and to forgive unconditionally. Give up anger, animosity, and annoyance. Let grace run your day and you will be happier for it.

Generosity
This is the season of giving, and there should be a readiness to give and be generous on your part. What’s the use of giving, if there’s a bitterness or smallness about it? The Grinch started Christmas with a meanness of heart, described as a heart "two sizes too small," but ended with a largeness of heart (it expands three sizes). If you’re feeling pinched this holiday, work daily on expanding your heart with an overflowing of generosity. And remember, generosity comes in many forms and can be expressed in many ways. Don’t let preconceived notions of generosity stunt you.

Gratitude
As I was examining this word, I ran across another version of the word… overgratitude. Can you really communicate or convey gratitude over and above what is needed? I think not, because if there were a cap on gratitude, then there would be a cap on how much you appreciate something or someone, which implies there’s a time you wouldn’t be grateful for it or to the person. Ingratitude is easier to express, because you simply have to do nothing, but if you do nothing, you’re limiting yourself spiritually and emotionally. The best gift this year you could give anyone is the gift of gratitude. What are you grateful for, or to whom are you grateful? Share thankfulness, appreciation, and warmth of love. Be overabundant with it, and you will feel it in return. There is no shortage of loving gratitude.

How will you articulate grace, generosity, and gratitude this Christmas?

Keira

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Someone once said that grief is self-centered.

Having been there, done that, I have to disagree. For me, if it was self-centered, it wasn't self-imposed. I don't ever want to grieve again as deeply as I did ever ever, if I have a choice.

How do you get through? in my own words in no particular order (and you may have other ways):
- don't listen to ones who say really strange things to you in the name of trying to help
- be good to yourself every day
- hang onto the lifeline of spirituality and God
- make choices for happiness -- choose small things that make you happy
- look for any good that you can find
- recognize the smallest happiness/good and multiply it, if you can
- do this day by day, without fail, and somehow you get down the road a piece...
- don't fault yourself for grieving (you have two problems if you lay guilt on yourself)
- honor your feelings, they are valuable, even to God
- don't listen to others who tell you that their way is better/you are at fault
- use your life experiences to help others, if possible
- do something to take your mind off yourself -- visit with a friend, read a book, get out into nature, volunteer your services...

How are you getting through or how did you make your way through?
or how have you seen others make it through?
To some extent, each has to find and do what it takes to get through. Know you are not alone. And somehow, we do get through, as hard or as impossible as it seems.

Here's a book that sounds interesting:

In the book The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times Stephen G. Post tells how he got through a relocation crisis and how others can get through hardships or disappointments.

Be bold if life throws you a curve ball or you are forced to make changes in your life.

Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the journey...with a full heart...ready to give of yourself with compassion and forgiveness, never seeking the hidden gifts but finding them just the same. Stephen G. Post

Buy: The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times

Buy: (Kindle Edition) The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times

Karin
www.savvythinker.com



Originally posted 2011-02-08 07:14:18.

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College Girl, a bunch of her guy friends and I went to see this when it first came out. It was hilarious and skewers everything from adoption (I didn't know this) (only for a few minutes, but tastelessly, involving being adopted only for his skating prowess, then disinherited as an adult and left at the side of the road) to incest and figure skating, with the obligatory bathroom scene(s) along the way.

It stays just this side of being too much.

It kept you wondering how they filmed it to look so real. (unseen wires)...

It did us all good to laugh so hard. It's a gift to be able to do this without crossing the line into raunch humor.

It might be something to enjoy on DVD.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com

Originally posted 2007-04-14 07:05:09.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/blades-of-glory/feed/ 0 Mystery cat takes regular bus to the shops http://savvythinker.com/mystery-cat-takes-regular-bus-to-the-shops/ http://savvythinker.com/mystery-cat-takes-regular-bus-to-the-shops/#comments Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:55:00 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/04/11/mystery-cat-takes-regular-bus-to-the-shops/

This is a cute story and just makes my day, plus the cat is one gorgeous cat! To see pictures of the cat, go here.

Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it has started using the No 331 several mornings a week.

The feline, which has a purple collar, gets onto the busy Walsall to Wolverhampton bus at the same stop most mornings - he then jumps off at the next stop 400m down the road, near a fish and chip shop.

The cat was nicknamed Macavity after the mystery cat in T.S Elliot's poem. He gets on the bus in front of a row of 1950s semi-detached houses and jumps off at a row of shops down the road which include a fish and chip shop.

Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, who first saw the cat jumping from the bus in January, said: "It is really odd, the first time I saw the cat jumping off the bus with a group of passengers. I hadn't seen it get on which was a bit confusing.

"The next day I pulled up on Churchill Road to let a couple of passengers on. As soon as I opened the doors the cat ran towards the bus, jumped on and ran under one of the seats, I don't think any of the passengers noticed.

"Because I had seen it jump off the day before I carried on driving and sure enough when I stopped just down the road he jumped off - I don't know why he would catch the bus but he seems to like it. I told some of the other drivers on this route and they have seen him too."

Since January, when the cat first caught the bus he has done it two or three times a week and always gets on and off at the same stops.

Passenger, Paul Brennan, 19, who catches the 331 to work, said: "I first noticed the cat a few weeks ago. At first I thought it had been accompanied by its owner but after the first stop it became quite clear he was on his own.

"He sat at the front of the bus, waited patiently for the next stop and then got off. It was was quite strange at first but now it just seems normal. I suppose he is the perfect passenger really - he sits quietly, minds his own business and then gets off."

Originally posted 2007-04-11 07:31:23.

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