Savvy Thinker » Prayer http://savvythinker.com thinking about life, playing with makeup Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:15:26 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Baby selling in China http://savvythinker.com/baby-selling-in-china/ http://savvythinker.com/baby-selling-in-china/#comments Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:18:36 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=2049

What a tragedy for all the babies and their birth families. While I was aware of baby selling in parts of the world when I adopted from China, 10 and 12 years ago, I didn't believe it happened in China at the time I adopted. Who knows how much of it went on in those days.

Where there is money to be made illicitly, there always seems to be some degree of greed/need. But there is no thought given to the innocents in this, to the babies. Will they reunite them with their families? will any families come forward?

Tragic that families feel the need to sell their children or are swindled into doing so.

Every child deserves a loving family, but in this world it doesn't always happen. Let us work and pray for a more equitable world, for the safety and health of children everywhere, so that no child is separated from their family, from necessity or neglect or scandal, and can grow into their selfhood unencumbered and in joy. So let it be.

Karin

Henan police break up alleged baby-trafficking ring

By Chen Qian | 2009-1-8 | ONLINE EDITION

HENAN Province railway police caught 11 suspects of an alleged baby-trafficking ring after finding seven infants less than one month old taken onto a train.

The seven infants were girls. They were saved by police at Zhengzhou Railway Station in Henan. The girls are now at a social welfare home in the city, Xinhua news agency reported today. Two more suspects are still at large, police said.

Police were suspicious of eight women with infants at the railway station on October 21, Xinhua said. Police couldn't understand their dialect so they stopped them for questioning.

They soon confessed the infants were not their babies and they were taking them to Shandong Province for sale. Four of the suspects are Guizhou Province natives and four are from Yunnan Province, the report said.

The alleged leader Long Fang confessed to police that she asked her in-law Liu Yongqiong to buy babies in October. Liu later contacted a man surnamed Huang and three other suspects to purchase infants in Yunnan.

Liu and Huang remain at large.

Long purchased five infants for 14,600 yuan (US$2,147) in mid October and organized five women to transport them to Shandong, where her accomplice Zhang Li was waiting for the babies, the report said.

Six suspects took a train from Guiyang in Guizhou Province and met two other accomplices half way. The pair had two babies they purchased for 8,000 yuan in Guizhou. They arrived at Zhengzhou Railway Station on October 21 and planned to take a bus to Shandong with the others, the report said.

After catching eight women in Zhengzhou, police caught five more suspects in Shandong, Yunnan and Guizhou in the following three weeks. Among them, 11 have been detained and two are still being investigated, according to the report.

Originally posted 2009-03-20 19:11:15.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/baby-selling-in-china/feed/ 0 Making our lives a prayer http://savvythinker.com/making-your-life-a-prayer/ http://savvythinker.com/making-your-life-a-prayer/#comments Thu, 02 Feb 2012 06:14:58 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/10/24/making-your-life-a-prayer/

Norris Burkes had another thought provoking column this week.

Andi Bowsher, author of Praying the Pattern ...says , "Paul [when he said to pray without ceasing] was suggesting making life into prayer rather than making prayer into a life."...I can spend all week praying for fresh inspiration and still get nothing but a frustrated editor muttering some pretty unspiritual words about my column being past deadline. But when I seek to make my life a prayer, when I seek to serve and to become the answer to the prayers prayed by others, I get real inspiration...I pray to become the prayer... Norris Burkes (to see the full article go to his website.

I keep coming back to the idea that our lives are really the answer to someone else's prayer when we live our life as a prayer or are conscious of it. I think I've been aware of that on occasion, but not as a guiding principle. (Elsewhere in the article Burkes talks of 'living the principle that Bowsher describes.')

Can you think of a time when you were the answer to someone's prayer? Perhaps you didn't recognize it at the time.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-10-24 07:35:12.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/making-your-life-a-prayer/feed/ 0 Respite care http://savvythinker.com/respite-care/ http://savvythinker.com/respite-care/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:42:05 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/07/02/respite-care/

I think respite care begins with ourselves. We have to know (or seek to know) what we need, then take some steps, even baby steps, to find space in our lives for respite. We need to ask and let others know, if we need it.

Respite care is talked about in the adoption community, for some children have needs (or problems) greater than one or two parents could fulfill or even handle. It can be very tricky finding any kind of care, and it sometimes involves residential care for the child/teen.

Respite care is likely also talked about in other communities of folks dealing with specific health issues or other.

Of course, there are other kinds of caregiving and caregivers, but the bulk of caregiving still falls on a woman's shoulders, whether she is caring for her or her spouse's parents, for a child, a house, or for her husband.

The need to call 911 can be life defining whether it involves something as 'simple' as lift support or as complex as emergency care or transport.

A friend writes:

I guess we don't really understand how much we need people until there's a crisis. Without the health issues [that some face with their husbands], I'm having the same feelings about my husband. I don't think I've ever been so solicitous or considerate of him as I've been these last two months since he took this new job.

Meanwhile, I think that we get caught up in the non-reality of a situation and don't really grok what exactly is going on. That was true on the street in NYC when I almost lost our son while my husband went to get the wheelchair. We didn't seem to have much of a clue. I think that could be said for another friend and her son, that the surreal-ness of the experience at the end there had so overwhelmed them, created a disbelief and an inability to actually SEE what was going on. I think calling 911, for the average person, is an act of huge significance. We are taught to be so polite and to ask for little, not to take up too much space.

I'm currently reading Inner Peace for Busy Women by Joan Borysenko. I'm a little put off by the cutsy green ink, but I like what she writes about, and it is another book that I will own.

I was surprised to find a chapter on caregiving. Again, I borrowed this book from the library, as I'm reading several of her books having just 'found' her as an author.

She writes:

On a trip to India in the 1980s, I spent a few weeks in a small village, where a schizophrenic woman, talking to herself continually with great agitation, lived under a large banyan tree. Different villagers visited her every few hours, brought food, and cared for all her needs. But most of us no longer live in extended families of close-knit communities where such care is common. We live neither in the welcoming shelter of a banyan tree, nor in the warm embrace of one another. Those who do reap significant benefits as far as health and peace of mind are concerned. p 141

I think especially this phrase stood out to me: warm embrace of one another. I suspect many of our homeless have been left to fend for themselves now that they have been de-institutionalized, but there wasn't another embrace for them, nor a way to be sure they were sound enough to care for themselves wisely.

Contrast the scene in the Indian village with a trip my then 11 year old daughter and I took to Paris about 10 years ago. We were surprised to find in the heat of summer, in a new hotel, there was no air conditioning. Our first room was in the back among sheltering trees and whether it was hot or not, the trees made the heat bearable. Through the night there was a woman who yelled continually, but there was no traffic noise. It was impossible to sleep. At some point, a man yelled out the French equivalent of SHUT UP! The next day we moved to the front of the hotel, no trees, with tremendous road noise right up until about 3 am when it quieted down until about 5 am, and not a breath of air, but the sounds of the traffic muffled any noises she was making. I saw her on the street at one point later in the day. I think I prayed for her just about the whole night.

We could learn a lot from societies such as India. How many of us would long for a banyan tree, for the warm embrace of another to help us get through?

Take the time to figure out, if you can, what would nurture you, if you are care giving. Often it comes in unexpected ways, if we are open to it.

Karin

The Lord is my care-giver
written for all those in need of care and for all those who are giving it
Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.
Psalm 23 and Luke 10:25-37

The Lord is my caregiver; I will not fear.
How precious is this thought: that He cares for me!

I love the parable of the Good Samaritan --
its gentle message stands forever,
as the epitome of God's own care:
the wounded left for dead by thieves in certain dread
the passersby who left him for their own chagrin
the neighbor true who bound the wounds, though not a Jew
the hotelier who offered place in which to find embrace
the simple ease with which the wounded had release
the money found to deal with every round
the needs all met by tender ministration in this vignette.

The mercy of the Lord is shown in ever-sweet accord:
whether I am care-giver or care-receiver,
I will not fear that I am alone, or that I will be uncared for.
The presence of the Lord ensures my care.
He enables care to be given that is not a burden.
He brings the care I need so I have intercede.
Both care-giver and care-receiver are in His plan.

O Lord, I give this care to You, for I know
that You are both my care-taker and my care-giver.
With You, I know that my burden is easy, for You are there.
Help me to appreciate my neighbor: each one to know as he is known.
Help me to see myself as You are seeing: forever in the care that You have shown.

Surely care-giving and care-receiving have followed me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in His mercy, well-cared for everyday, forever. (c)

Originally posted 2007-07-02 13:51:20.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/respite-care/feed/ 0 Getting through the day if you are dealing with hard times http://savvythinker.com/getting-through-the-day-if-you-are-dealing-with-hard-times/ http://savvythinker.com/getting-through-the-day-if-you-are-dealing-with-hard-times/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2011 21:56:08 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=7540

Someone once said that grief is self-centered.

Having been there, done that, I have to disagree. For me, if it was self-centered, it wasn't self-imposed. I don't ever want to grieve again as deeply as I did ever ever, if I have a choice.

How do you get through? in my own words in no particular order (and you may have other ways):
- don't listen to ones who say really strange things to you in the name of trying to help
- be good to yourself every day
- hang onto the lifeline of spirituality and God
- make choices for happiness -- choose small things that make you happy
- look for any good that you can find
- recognize the smallest happiness/good and multiply it, if you can
- do this day by day, without fail, and somehow you get down the road a piece...
- don't fault yourself for grieving (you have two problems if you lay guilt on yourself)
- honor your feelings, they are valuable, even to God
- don't listen to others who tell you that their way is better/you are at fault
- use your life experiences to help others, if possible
- do something to take your mind off yourself -- visit with a friend, read a book, get out into nature, volunteer your services...

How are you getting through or how did you make your way through?
or how have you seen others make it through?
To some extent, each has to find and do what it takes to get through. Know you are not alone. And somehow, we do get through, as hard or as impossible as it seems.

Here's a book that sounds interesting:

In the book The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times Stephen G. Post tells how he got through a relocation crisis and how others can get through hardships or disappointments.

Be bold if life throws you a curve ball or you are forced to make changes in your life.

Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the journey...with a full heart...ready to give of yourself with compassion and forgiveness, never seeking the hidden gifts but finding them just the same. Stephen G. Post

Buy: The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times

Buy: (Kindle Edition) The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times

Karin
www.savvythinker.com



Originally posted 2011-02-08 07:14:18.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/getting-through-the-day-if-you-are-dealing-with-hard-times/feed/ 0 A story of remission/healing http://savvythinker.com/a-story-of-remissionhealing/ http://savvythinker.com/a-story-of-remissionhealing/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:40:00 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/04/30/a-story-of-remissionhealing/

I was telling a friend about another's diagnosis and how it is known to sometimes go into remission, even permanently. Here's what she wrote in reply:

It really struck me what you said on the phone - when they said [ ] could go into remission and that you considered "remission" a "healing" --- I never thought of that until recalling that about 30 years ago, I suddenly came down with some "spinal" thing - extreme pain constantly up to my neck. For three months I was nearly a total invalid. Couldn't even lift a can of tomato soup, let alone open it. Even had to move in with my parents, as I could not even feed myself. The family doctor diagnosed it as ankylosing spondylitis, an incurable spinal disease, and sent me out to U of Michigan. The first day consisted of 5-1/2 hours of doctors all over me. They confirmed the diagnosis, said it was incurable
and that I would have to be fitted with a steel back brace for the rest of my life, whereby, I could never bend over, etc.

Out of the blue, a woman at work whom I barely knew, called me with her story....bottom line: see Dr. Luke Sheng in Brighton, Michigan. (I could write volumes about his family and that clinic.) He was an M.D. He and his wife (also an M.D.) were both born in China, as were their two sons. They were what we would call those super-devout Christians. When Mao took over in '49, he was arrested and jailed, escaped to Hong Kong, made it to Pennsylvania, then Brighton.

I had, for the first time, called [someone] who agreed to continue to pray/work with me while I was having acupuncture from Dr. Sheng. Was driven to Brighton for 14 treatments and a few more trips to U-M. It was obvious to me I was healed. I was well! When I told the U-M doctors, they scoffed, said it was impossible because this was incurable and I was only in a short "remission" and that it would return within weeks. That was 30 years ago. It has never returned.

Thank you Karin, that you even said you consider "remission" a "healing." I had never even equated that.

And please feel free to show this to [ ] or post it on your blog. No secrets here ... just a bunch of gratitude and awe.

Love,
Diane

Originally posted 2007-04-30 00:43:21.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/a-story-of-remissionhealing/feed/ 1 Mixed Blessings http://savvythinker.com/mixed-blessings/ http://savvythinker.com/mixed-blessings/#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2011 11:37:40 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=4686

Somehow when I think of the phrase mixed blessings, I think of what I can remember from the movie Tender Mercies. Even the expressions seem to go together.

Perhaps mixed blessings are evidence of tender mercies.

Or perhaps it is that blessings come in the midst of life, where the whole package deal is not necessarily only blessings. We can have blessings in the midst of difficult times or difficult circumstances. When that happens, I always feel a sort of angel's wing on my shoulder, an encouragement to keep on going.

Recently I heard an older man speak about the importance of doing something or doing something good, even if we can't do it perfectly. Because, presumably, if we wait until we can do it perfectly, it would never be done. Even doing something half way or partially completed may be better than doing nothing.

It reminds me of doing errands. They are never finished.

John Updike's stories of a troubled marriage are gathered for the first time in hardback, The Maples Stories. I doubt I will read them.

I have a hard time getting into Updike's writing style. I also found them difficult to read for their, I think, negativity, and I suppose when they first came out, I was too young to appreciate them. I found them dated and misogynistic even them. But:

They are as true today as when they were written. Heller McAlpin 8-23-09 Christian Science Monitor p 43

The moral of these stories is that all blessings are mixed. Also, that people are incorrigibly themselves. John Updike

That last sentence made me laugh -- people are incorrigibly themselves. Best not to try to change them, that is a place only for the divine, unless you are moved by an angel.

Here's a quote I like about angel's doing our errands:

And how is man, seen through the lens of Spirit, enlarged, and how counterpoised his origin from dust, and how he presses to his original, never severed from Spirit! ...Then will angels administer grace, do thy errands, and be thy dearest allies. The divine law gives to man health and life everlasting — gives a soul to Soul, a present harmony wherein the good man's heart takes hold on heaven, and whose feet can never be moved. These are His green pastures beside still waters, where faith mounts upward, expatiates, strengthens, and exults. Mary Baker Eddy

Do you like Updike's works?
If so, what should I try to read?

And how about blessings?
Do you make them count? Do you gather them up in a journal perhaps so you don't forget them? Try to find a few blessings every day in your days -- and make them count! Don't forget some of these blessings are how you bless someone else.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com
don't steal my posts -- you know who you are!

Originally posted 2009-09-05 15:12:54.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/mixed-blessings/feed/ 0 “There Is A Reason You Are There” http://savvythinker.com/there-is-a-reason-you-are-there/ http://savvythinker.com/there-is-a-reason-you-are-there/#comments Fri, 04 Nov 2011 21:03:21 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/05/18/there-is-a-reason-you-are-there/

"There Is A Reason You Are There"

Wherever you are, you are there for a reason. There are times when the reason will be patently evident. At other times you will need to be patient to understand why. From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights By Zelig Pliskin

Have you ever felt you were in exactly the right place at the right time? Life feels serendipitous in those moments. I always offer up a prayer of thanks.

It reminds me of what Paul said:

I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Phil 4:11

There is a sense of being content when we feel we are in the right place at the right time, even if that place is uncomfortable. There is a purpose to it. Not every right place is easy.

An opportunity is not necessarily God's open door. Kathy Miller

Sometimes the open door is right where we are.

Karin

Originally posted 2007-05-18 21:08:27.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/there-is-a-reason-you-are-there/feed/ 1 The Third/or Fourth Man Factor http://savvythinker.com/the-thirdor-fourth-man-factor/ http://savvythinker.com/the-thirdor-fourth-man-factor/#comments Mon, 17 Oct 2011 02:20:29 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=5178

The Third Man Factor is an interesting concept. Evidently it should be The Fourth Man Factor, but

It was [Sir Ernest] Shackleton’s experience that inspired the term “Third Man factor” (although for his group it was actually a “fourth man” — T.S. Eliot misremembered the number when he wrote his poem The Waste Land, which popularized the idea). Geiger

The new book out by John Geiger sounds like a fascinating read.

Plus you can get this book for your Kindle.

The Third Man Factor is an extraordinary account of how people at the very edge of death experience the sense of an unseen presence beside them who encourages them to make one final effort to survive. This incorporeal being offered them a feeling of hope, protection, and guidance, and left the person convinced he or she was not alone. There is a name for this phenomenon: It's called the Third Man Factor.

If only a handful of people had ever encountered the Third Man, it might be dismissed as an unusual delusion shared by a few overstressed minds. But over the years, the experience has occurred again and again, to 9/11 survivors, mountaineers, divers, polar explorers, prisoners of war, sailors, shipwreck survivors, aviators, and astronauts. All have escaped traumatic events only to tell strikingly similar stories of having sensed the close presence of a helper or guardian. The force has been explained as everything from hallucination to divine intervention. Recent neurological research suggests something else. Amazon

You can read a long excerpt from his book here. One of the stories he relates is of Ron DiFrancesco who was the last person to make it out of the South Tower alive. He felt such a presence. It came to him as a voice, telling him what to do, encouraging him to survive, changing the direction in which he headed.

One of the interesting things to me was to learn this phenomena has existed in many places. I suppose I would prefer to think of the man as an angel or of Christ. It reminds me of the Biblical story of the three men thrown in the fiery furnace, but witnesses saw a fourth man walking.

He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God. Dan 3:25

Do you find this interesting?
Do you find it as interesting as I do to have a kind of substantiation of the Bible story by modern day experiences? I take things on faith, but it is good to have proofs of a sort anyway, not that all the proofs in the world would change someone's mind that is already made up.

I can't say I've ever felt a presence per se, but I have had words come to me as thoughts. I have never been in any extreme survival situation.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com

Originally posted 2009-10-19 21:31:14.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/the-thirdor-fourth-man-factor/feed/ 2 There’s never a dull moment with kids around… http://savvythinker.com/theres-never-a-dull-moment-with-kids-around/ http://savvythinker.com/theres-never-a-dull-moment-with-kids-around/#comments Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:35:19 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/03/20/theres-never-a-dull-moment-with-kids-around/

Raising a family is a meditation. Joseph Campbell

I could have used a few meditations yesterday, LOL.

My kids got into the car after school continuing the negativity that started in the car loop. It only takes us 5 minutes to get home, but it was clear to me that home we must go, not on any errands, even fun ones.

This is unusual for them now ... a combination of being too tired (the time change and college girl being home, hence more late nights) and being hungry (always) ...and little one needed a lot of love before she got out of the car. (I say one or all of these three things are behind most melt downs.) (So if you can feed them quick and love them before they need it, you can head some of this off at the pass.)

'course we talked about it...and this morning I suggested that perhaps I'd have to alternate who I drove home or they could both walk (and I'd pick them up somewhere along the route)...

When one of our (adopted) girls was little, she would whine before we hit the end of the driveway. Occasionally she does this now. Partly she couldn't stand being confined in a car seat. Partly, it bothered her on visceral levels...so we simply didn't do a whole lot that required driving. Funnily, she did really well on long trips. She'd settle in and be a regular little traveler.

But don't ask about flying. After the last flight I took her on, I promised her I'd never take her on a plane again. She'd have to be grown and take me. (She'd probably be OK now.)

I think as parents we need to be one step ahead of our kids, if possible. And one way to do this is to be in constant meditation/prayer.

Of course, that kind of drowns out the sounds from the back seat too.

Well, this is humorous, but it is also serious. I'm not sure you can ever be truly prepared. That's where the meditation comes in.

What tactics work for you? (I sometimes had one or both girls walk home from our corner because I tell them they aren't allowed to ride in my car if they are having major bickering.)

Karin

Originally posted 2007-03-20 07:16:06.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/theres-never-a-dull-moment-with-kids-around/feed/ 0 How irritable are you on any given day? http://savvythinker.com/how-irritable-are-you-on-any-given-day/ http://savvythinker.com/how-irritable-are-you-on-any-given-day/#comments Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:19:09 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/11/06/how-irritable-are-you-on-any-given-day/

What's your irritation quotient? Do you find yourself with a constant underlying sense of irritation about the little things in life that should only be annoyances? Or does your irritation quotient go up only for select instances? Do you feel this is a function of not voicing some of the things that maybe should have been voiced along the way or do you see that you could have taken better care of yourself with more rest and more regular food? Maybe all of the above, since speaking up for ourselves can also constitute taking care of ourselves, unless it becomes a regular habit of speaking up over everything, which possibly we should break.

I can be irritable with the best of them, but it doesn't necessarily make me feel better. I try to pray my way out of it before it settles in, so it doesn't come out in ways I would prefer it not to. And sometimes I pray my way not to rehearse it in thought when it is something that isn't immediately fixable.

What do you do with irritation? There are opportunities every day to overcome it or to be overcome by it. No life is free of it completely. Do you suppose some people have higher thresholds of irritation?

I find it helpful not to let a little river of irritation run in me that can go up with the slightest spark. Of course, that is, if I catch it in time. It would be saying too much to say that I always do.

Karin

The subhead on the story said, "Little acts of revenge can feel so good." [the person refused to call the sizes of drinks at Starbucks by their Starbuck names]

This notion is potentially useful in plotting a novel or TV show, but in the real world it fails on two levels. First of all, disputing the terminology of a cup size or other marketing detail just makes life harder for the clerk, who has no power over company policy. Why expend time and energy hassling an innocent bystander who's just doing a job?

Second, and perhaps more important, if minor annoyances create enough agitation within you that seeking little acts of revenge becomes a priority, where do you draw the line? Can you even tell the difference between getting pushed around and just feeling bothered? And what if your "I'm fighting back" gambit causes someone else to want revenge on you?

To me, it wouldn't matter if a company wanted to call its cup sizes "glork," "koopa," and "zeralack." I could work with that. Some people might say this proves I'm just a big talking marshmallow. Not true. It's just that I've set a high threshold for annoyance, and I keep issues in perspective.

It wasn't too many decades ago that business owners in America could offer selective service to patrons based on skin color. Knowing this, making a fuss about cup sizes or a long line, or berating the clerk because you got incorrect change, is pretty lame.

If revenge is on your personal agenda for today, consider erasing it. Everyday life is full of bumps. Most of them are not the little hills you want to die on. They aren't even worth a small skirmish. Jeffrey Shaffer To read the whole article go here Don't take revenge, be happy .

Originally posted 2007-11-06 07:17:18.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/how-irritable-are-you-on-any-given-day/feed/ 0