Entwined fate(s) and forgiveness To say, my fate is not tied to your fate, is like saying, your end of the boat is sinking. Hugh Downs Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life. It is a...
Learning styles How do you learn best? How do your children learn best, if you have children? When I think of learning, some part of me remembers Elle Woods in the movie Legally Blonde. She has a...
2008 Retrospective This has been a good year for me for fragrances and especially good this past week. Knowing I was going to be where (Las Vegas) I could smell all the Guerlain and Chanel fragrances that...
Who is the keeper of your memories? Reading Kinsella's book has got me thinking. Who is the keeper of my memories? Is there any one person who would know enough about my life to help me put it back together again? I...
Living with ambiguities in adoption [ ] ...these are the words that were recorded the day she dropped me off. they echo off blank walls, colored by my imagination - changing, drifting in multi-faceted hopes and dreams at 5, 15,...
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Life isn't fair, but it's still good This was an internet forward. I do not know if the attribution is correct. Enough of them hit the spot to pass them on. Karin Lessons for Life By Regina Brett The Plain Dealer, Cleveland...
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Speaking of interesting older women I just heard about the oldest woman blogger, Olive Riley, aged 107 in 2007. [Unfortunately, she has now died. 2009] Her blog The Life of Riley is being typed by a younger friend who believes...
A woman to admire I only recently heard of Irena Sendler, a Polish Catholic 97 year old woman who rescued 2500 children in the Warsaw Ghetto from the gas chambers in 1942-3. After getting the children out, she arranged...
How do I find my wife? I mean, how do I find the right one for me? I am so confused? I am 22 years old I am a male in...
Oak Valley Golf Course, Beaumont, CA Oak Valley Golf Course is located in: Beaumont, CA Phone: (951) 769-7200 Website: http://www.oakvalleygolf.com/pages.asp?pid=33 Course History: This gorgeous golf course is home to several PGA...
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Nicholas Winton, now 100 years old, was a 29 year old London stockbroker who traveled to Czechoslovakia in 1938, where he rescued hundreds of Jewish children from likely or certain death. Winton’s parents were of German Jewish descent.
Even his wife didn’t know about it until 40 years after they were married, he remarked in 1999.
Everything that happened before the war actually didn’t feel important in the light of the war itself.
Winton, alarmed at the time — and rightly — that Czechoslovakia would be invaded by the Nazis and Jewish residents sent to concentration camps, persuaded British officials to accept the children as long as foster homes were found and a 50 pound guarantee was paid for each child. He set about raising funds and organizing passage.
Eight trains carried the children to Britain in the months before the war. A few went to Sweden. Many never saw their parents again, because of the Holocaust.
To celebrate the 70th anniversary of the rescue, a vintage train carrying about two dozen survivors and their families pulled into London’s Liverpool Street Station this past Friday after three days journey by rail and ferry from Prague. They greeted Nicholas, frail though he was.
It’s wonderful to see you all after 70 years. Don’t leave it quite so long until we meet here again. Nicholas Winton
I never heard about him until today when the story of the kindertransports was retold in our paper.
It’s quite remarkable that someone in the heat of confusing times would be led to act decisively in a timely fashion without regard to himself to save others and give them life. It looks easy in retrospect, but I bet we don’t know the half of it or the persuading that needed to take place. And I don’t suppose that 50 pounds each was a small sum in those days, not to mention the cost of passage.
To me, he is a righteous man. The world would have been poorer without him. He’s another man I’d like to know. I was glad he lived long enough to be recognized for his part. And not to forget the part of all those who aided in giving funds, some of whom might have been their own families. May their memories be for a blessing.
Had you heard of him before?
Don’t be prepared in your life only to do no wrong; Be prepared every day to try to do some good. Sir Nicholas Winton
Karin
www.savvythinker.com
don’t steal my posts — you know who you are!
E. Coudray Nohiba E. Coudray Nohiba is one of the most interesting fragrances I own. I bought it a year or so ago, unsniffed, on the strength of recommendations at POL, judging from the sounds of it, knowing...
A woman to admire I only recently heard of Irena Sendler, a Polish Catholic 97 year old woman who rescued 2500 children in the Warsaw Ghetto from the gas chambers in 1942-3. After getting the children out, she arranged...
Trafficked children in Nepal Conor Grennan, another hero, backed by a small NGO that he started Next Generation Nepal is walking back roads in Nepal trying to reconnect families with their trafficked children. Here's part of one of his...
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Who is the keeper of my memories? Is there any one person who would know enough about my life to help me put it back together again?
I tend to be a reticent person, picking and choosing what and when to share, while at the same time being out-going. Some aspects of my life I haven’t shared with anyone, and some things I might yet share at the right time with the right persons under the right circumstances. I suppose that says that I don’t trust easily.
It used to be in pre-writing societies that the Keeper of Memories was a revered person, one who kept memories alive of the families and their history. It was important that it be remembered exactly and told in the same manner.
I’d have to get together with several of my friends and family in order to piece together the fabric of my life. And I suspect that some memories would clash with each other. Not all views of me would be the same.
It’s quite a heady subject. One that hopefully I’ll never have to test.
Forced to be family I appreciated the title and subtitle of this book for its cleverness: Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws. The author has also written a number...
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Your Money or Your Life Review Your Money or Your Life is not your average personal finance book. Weighing in at nearly 400 pages (including the prologue and epilogue), this selection...
This was a really interesting book. Imagine if you wake up in the hospital after a car accident and your most current memory is three years before when you were out with your friends for the evening. You slipped and fell getting into a taxi. In the hospital, you think this is what has brought you to the hospital. But it is three years later and every vestige of those three years is lost to you.
No one is sure how long your memory will be gone or if any parts of it will resurface.
But ‘you’ as you are now are not the ‘you’ that you remember. The old you had the nickname Snaggletooth. Now you have perfect pearly whites. And that’s just the beginning. All your friends have changed. You are now a high powered executive (or you are told you are one…and you weren’t particularly likeable.)
And how are you to figure out the truth when there are lies in abundance around you?
Oh! and don’t forget you are married — and you have the wedding album to prove it — but not a single memory. Never mind that he is handsome and wealthy and perfect — or not.
That is the premise of this book and Kinsella keeps it up through 389 pages.
Is there any three year portion of your memories that you’d be willing to give up? Not likely, not when every single memory is wiped out.
And who is Lexi to trust? her husband who is more than a little creepy? the colleague in her office who covets her job? the man who says they were lovers and she was going to leave her husband?
And those who knew her during these years are not so quick to fill in the blanks, or they revise history if it would show themselves better, so whose ‘memories’ can she trust?
Her life is perfect — or is it?
She is a heroine you root for, with spunk, courage and joy, and you are not disappointed. She manages to get the best of those who want the worst for her, while finding herself, and the memories she makes are worth having.
This book is a delight to read. Nearly every page has some humor in it. It’s told in Lexi’s voice and takes place in London. I think it might be good to listen to this book read, if the reader is British.
Kinsella has also written the Shopaholic books, which I intend to read in the near future.
Have you read this book or any of her books? I give it a 4. Whose memories of your life would you trust? I suspect there are some parts of my life that would be lost to me as I’d have a hard time believing it all!
If you like to read... Peer to peer book reviews sounds like an interesting website. I like reading online reviews anyway. The computer makes possible in an instant what would have been laborious or impossible before. At the same time,...
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This is fascinating stuff! It’s amazing to me that the book survived, much less is readable (after 9 years!)
This is about an ancient book called The Archimedes Codex, bought for $2.2 million in October, 1998, at an auction in New York City by an anonymous collector who sent it to the Walters Art Museum, here to be restored, conserved, and probed for its content. It was thought to contain mathematical theses conceived by the genius of Syracuse (287-212 BC), whose name it bears, ideas not found anywhere else in the world.
The Walters faced a daunting task: what arrived was a clump of folios, crushed, torn, punctured by worm holes, in the inflexible grip of old carpenter’s glue, charred at its edges, and covered with mold and water stains.
It’s a miracle it still exists.
It took four years just to remove the glue, and open the book sufficiently to allow experts on ancient Greek texts to access much of its content and, with the help of ultra sophisticated imaging systems, to read it.
Modern technology is opening its information to us.
Imagine being the man who is in charge of this (for nine years).
The Archimedes texts were copied in the 10th century by an unknown scribe in Constantinople, then a major center of the Christian world eventually to become a center of the Islamic world. Three centuries later, another scribe washed, scraped, and otherwise tried to remove the text from the book’s parchment. This person undid the book, rebound it in the opposite direction, then, on the imperfectly cleared pages, wrote his Christian prayers in Greek over the original text, which was also in Greek, and still discernible in a faint rust-colored thread running beneath. This procedure was common in medieval times: Parchment was scarce. Thus, the Archimedes Codex became a palimpsest, a twice-used book.
The findings gleaned from it have raised Archimedes’s status as a thinker higher than anyone might have expected. Noel describes him as “the most important scientist who ever lived.”
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Maybe, I put blinkers on, but I can’t remember any miserable times in my life. I see the present moment as a sacrament. It’s all about sacrament — eating, conversing, being with friends, telling a good joke and making people laugh. Sister Immaculata Knox
Seeing the human and divine coincidence in the particular, individual, mundane, even normal moments of our lives is a way of recognizing and appreciating the sacred in our days. Maybe if we connect the dots of these moments it is a help when we are going through rough waters.
Because you will forget your misery and remember it as waters that pass away [water under the bridge.] KJV Job 11:16 and commentary on NKJV
It is certainly something to hold onto and claim when things are tough. And when they are easy, it multiples the good in it to recognize it and to see God as the source of it.
Sometimes we go in the strength of our reserves. It’s a truism then that we better have some. Every time we see the present moment as a sacrament, I think we are adding to our reserves, then we have something to draw upon when needed. Other things that build reserves are getting enough rest; taking care of ourselves, not putting ourselves last; making sure we eat at regular times; being with those we love and who love us; laughter; growing spiritually; a little inspiration; reading a good book; listening to a mentor…
One pathway to hope is to choose your memories very carefully….put a frame around them. So many hopeful things happen day in and day out, but we lose them if we don’t stop for a moment, think about them, and consciously frame them. Arthur P Ciaramicoli
How do you build your reserves? Make it a priority.
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I know anger is a universal emotion. But the juxtaposition of my short remark yesterday about dealing with my own angry anger was followed by receiving this message into my email box. I had to laugh. Again, I think this reaches way beyond the bounds of divorce, into universals.
Defining Anger
Day 59
Dr. Les Carter says that having anger means standing up for your own worth, needs, and convictions.
“You don’t get angry when folks are kind, pleasant, or understanding. Anger shows up when someone has rejected you or is being uncooperative, or when a person is being critical, harsh, or difficult to get along with. When anger appears on the scene, it arouses your sense of self-preservation.
“You want to preserve one of three things. You want to preserve your worth as a human being; your anger can be your way of wishing to say, ‘Please, show me some respect, will you?’ Anger can be your way of preserving your basic needs: ‘Recognize that I have needs, and acknowledge them, please.’ Or anger can be a way that you stand up for your deepest convictions. It is your way of saying, ‘I believe in things, and I don’t want to back away from them.’”
You will feel anger at some point in your divorce. [You fill in the blank for whatever is making you angry. Karin] Do not try to deny or suppress this emotion. God does not condemn you for your anger when it is justified. God Himself is described as “slow to anger”–not “never angry.”
“And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, ‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness’” (Exodus 34:6).
Lord God, sometimes my anger is justifiable; sometimes it’s not. Help me to be slow to anger, like You. Amen.
For more information about DivorceCare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please visit.
I can’t figure out if I have very little anger (because I hardly ever feel or express it) or if it is so sublimated and running so deep that I’d better get a handle on it. Who knows. I’m not going to waste any time over it. I imagine it’s a bit of both. The Serenity Prayer comes in handy at times:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr
It’s a truism that progress happens because of discontent, even anger. Otherwise, we’d still be living in caves.
A Bible verse I especially love is:
Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. KJV
Karin
I do not know about the workbook that is presented below as I have never seen it.
Suggested reading from the DivorceCare HelpCenter
The Anger Workbook
Les Carter
A 13-step interactive plan that explains how emotions and unmet needs can feed anger–and tells how readers can find healthy ways to express and control it. This unique workbook offers answers for anyone who struggles with destructive anger and wants to develop healthy alternatives for dealing with it. The only anger management program on the market that offers interactive exercises to help the readers understand and modify behavior.
Go to the following link to order this or other resources from the DivorceCare HelpCenter:
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February 22, 2007
The Past In Light Of The Present
Knowing Better Now
When we look back at the past, knowing what we know now, we often find it difficult to understand how we made the mistakes we made. This is because once we learn new information, it is nearly impossible to reenter the headspace we were in before we learned that information. And so we look back at parents who spanked their kids, for example, and wonder how they could have thought that was a good idea. Similarly, our personal pasts are full of mistakes we can’t believe we made. We did things then that we would never do now, and this is precisely because we have information now that we didn’t have, or weren’t able to access, then.
From ideas about how to raise children to how to treat the environment, our collective human past sometimes reads like a document on what not to do. In many ways, this is exactly as it should be. We learn from living and having experiences. It is from these past actions that we garnered the information that guides us to live differently now. Just so, in our personal lives, we probably had to have a few unsuccessful relationships or jobs, learning about our negative tendencies through them, in order to gain the wisdom we have now.
In order to live more peacefully with the past, it helps to remember that once we know better, we tend to do better. Prior to knowing, we generally do our best, and while it’s true that from the perspective of the present, our best doesn’t always seem good enough, we can at least give our past selves the benefit of the doubt. We did our best with what knowledge we had. Beyond this, we serve the greater good most effectively by not dwelling on the past, instead reigning our energy and knowledge into our present actions. It is here, in this moment, that we create our reality and ourselves anew, with our current knowledge and information. Daily OM, see link at front page
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My friend Lee wrote this about fragrances that he used to wear, but I thought it fit just thinking of life as well. I asked him to share it here. It’s a truism that we can’t go back — we have to go forward. But to realize that we have changed too, well, that’s a significant insight.
Karin
It’s JNM now because it was exactly me back then, and I’ve changed. Attempting to recapture the past seems like a trap to me, and I’d rather enjoy the nostalgia than pretend I’m still the person I once was. So I’ll sniff it, experience the pleasant melancholia that comes with that peculiar personal engagement with the passing of time, but not try to be it ever again. Lee, with permission
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Mind - It's Not All in Your Head A scientific and philosophical rent that has existed for nearly 400 years is now being resewn. The idea that the body and the mind are...
Banana Bread Recipe I love banana bread! I like to use bananas that are very ripe with lots of brown splotches; they give a sweeter flavor. However, the...
Twisting of Instinct Envy creeps into our daily thinking, but no situation more so than intimacy. Close friendships, family, romantic relationships. Envy denies intimacy, and if you need...
It’s only fair to present the other side, after Valentine’s Day. I always thought this song was clever.
It might add a little humor to life if we thought of another word for lover — perhaps job or resentment or anger or…we aren’t stuck in unhappiness in life if we look for a way out. Sometimes that might even mean staying under new circumstances.
Stranger than Fiction (movie) College Girl brought this 2006 moviehome from the library today. It is a romantic comedy of a different sort. Somehow it had passed completely below my radar. She said she liked it the first time...
A woman with substance Our paper chronicles today a woman who is 105. She looks good! They say she has a spark. Here's some highlights: She began playing the drums at 12. A neighbor says of her: She's an...
Discussing hope by Joan Borysenko I'm currently reading Fire in the Soul: A New Psychology of Spiritual optimism. Again, I got this from the library until I knew if I would like to own it. (I'm currently reading several of...
Le Baiser du Dragon by Cartier Today's posting is a joint effort by Ida (Chaya), Elena (Helg), and me. Thanks to both perfumistas for writing! I asked them to speak to the perfume version of this, as I have not tried...
Pain and suffering Sometimes it doesn't do to think too much about pain and suffering. The adage Into a life a little rain must fall is a truism none of us want to meet. Seriously. And the painful...
Simple - What does it mean to me? What do we mean by simple as in simple lifestyle or simple living? In fact there are many ways to define simple that attract different...
Welcome to Nutrition Fitness Life Hello and welcome to Nutrition Fitness Life! I’m glad you’re here. This website will cover information pertaining to health, fitness, and nutrition. I hope you...
Give Place To Dark We created our Spiritual Darkness discussion group in Second Life to give place to the darker feelings and phases of the spiritual life. Their expression...
Learning is about more than simply acquiring new knowledge and insights; it is also crucial to unlearn old knowledge that has outlived its relevance. Thus, forgetting is probably at least as important as learning. Gary Ryan Blair
This quote spoke to me today, big time! With change happening not every 7 years but every 6 mos, I think it is on average, then I’ve got to be ready to move with the times.
I heard once that we need to be careful not to forget what we should remember and remember what we should forget.
This quote does make me feel better when I have blonde moments (how is that possible when it is from a bottle) and forget where I set something down. I just have to hone the skill.
The things of this world The things of this world Always, there is far more beauty in this world than we are aware of. But enter the prodigious talents of someone like Jarbus Agnelli who transcribed the notes represented by...
The elusive nature of happiness, part 2 I think it's possible to have a certain level of happiness underlie all of our experiences, the good, the bad or the ugly, if we are aware of them. That's possibly what is meant by...
LOTD MAC lippie with Beauté technique Everybody loves MAC lippies. Me too! So, to show a different technique that you can actually use, I thought I'd show it with the Beauté technique. To see more about this technique. In the order...
Beading I enjoy beading now, better than any of the other crafts I've done or am doing. I sort of rotate with some knitting at the moment, but beading is my fun-creative-thing. Like any craft (except...
Chinese adoptive child finds her family in China I was watching one about a young boy. But the one that finds her Chinese family is a 10 yr old girl. The video is in Dutch. Scroll down the left side to: spoorloos. The...
Save Time, Money and Space in Over 80 Ways If you're looking for handy gadgets, tools and various items that can save you time, money or space (or all three!) this list of more...
4 Stages of Learning [/caption] Get the Competitive Edge with Ken DeHart Learning a new skill can be quite challenging. There are 4 basic stages we often encounter to...
Start Recycling In Your Community. I am in the Chicago area visiting my wifeâs family and I have just discovered something horrible - this area does not have a recycling...
Acoustic Guitar Learning Mistakes Online If you decide you want to learn to play guitar by taking lessons online, be sure that the lessons being given will be ones you...
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Entwined fate(s) and forgiveness To say, my fate is not tied to your fate, is like saying, your end of the boat is sinking. Hugh Downs Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life. It is a... 
2008 Retrospective This has been a good year for me for fragrances and especially good this past week. Knowing I was going to be where (Las Vegas) I could smell all the Guerlain and Chanel fragrances that... 
