Savvy Thinker » Forgiveness http://savvythinker.com thinking about life, playing with makeup Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:15:26 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Entwined fate(s) and forgiveness http://savvythinker.com/entwined-fates-and-forgiveness/ http://savvythinker.com/entwined-fates-and-forgiveness/#comments Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:20:51 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/07/20/entwined-fates-and-forgiveness/

To say, my fate is not tied to your fate, is like saying, your end of the boat is sinking. Hugh Downs

Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life. It is a required course, and the exams are always tough to pass.
Charles Swindoll

These two quotes happened to be side by side in my miscellaneous quote file. I thought, I think they look like they could go together. So I've been thinking of them that way. I'm not sure how to tie them in so it would make sense if your thoughts weren't following the same path. It's easier for me to see it, than to write it.

Maybe it's just the syncretism I see in tying them together. If all parts are necessary for the whole, then it stands to some sort of reason that we need all parts, that we are not as separate as we think.

I think we all learn forgiveness, but I'm not sure all-forgiveness is possible in this life (or maybe even a goal.) We do what we can with what we have, and throw some grace in that makes things possible that are not ordinarily possible, and that's about all I can say about that. And somehow our fates are tied together, forgiveness or not. The required course is tough, but a passing grade is all that is required, not perfection. I think passing can be a sliding scale depending on what we are dealing with, do you? Mercy and grace cover a multitude of falling short of the goal, when we are still doing our best to see our way through.

And somehow, it makes me think, today, of the last HP book in the series. Maybe not the forgiveness part, but the entwined fates part. And how much friendship can make our path easier, even if it is hard.

And it made me laugh to think of only one end of a boat sinking. As if!

Karin

Originally posted 2007-07-20 16:55:20.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/entwined-fates-and-forgiveness/feed/ 2 Nicholas Winton, an admirable man http://savvythinker.com/nicholas-winton-an-admirable-man/ http://savvythinker.com/nicholas-winton-an-admirable-man/#comments Thu, 11 Aug 2011 03:38:05 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=4681

In the presence of good

Nicholas Winton, now 100 years old, was a 29 year old London stockbroker who traveled to Czechoslovakia in 1938, where he rescued hundreds of Jewish children from likely or certain death. Winton's parents were of German Jewish descent.

Even his wife didn't know about it until 40 years after they were married, he remarked in 1999.

Everything that happened before the war actually didn't feel important in the light of the war itself.

Winton, alarmed at the time -- and rightly -- that Czechoslovakia would be invaded by the Nazis and Jewish residents sent to concentration camps, persuaded British officials to accept the children as long as foster homes were found and a 50 pound guarantee was paid for each child. He set about raising funds and organizing passage.

Eight trains carried the children to Britain in the months before the war. A few went to Sweden. Many never saw their parents again, because of the Holocaust.

To celebrate the 70th anniversary of the rescue, a vintage train carrying about two dozen survivors and their families pulled into London's Liverpool Street Station this past Friday after three days journey by rail and ferry from Prague. They greeted Nicholas, frail though he was.

It's wonderful to see you all after 70 years. Don't leave it quite so long until we meet here again. Nicholas Winton

I never heard about him until today when the story of the kindertransports was retold in our paper.

It's quite remarkable that someone in the heat of confusing times would be led to act decisively in a timely fashion without regard to himself to save others and give them life. It looks easy in retrospect, but I bet we don't know the half of it or the persuading that needed to take place. And I don't suppose that 50 pounds each was a small sum in those days, not to mention the cost of passage.

To me, he is a righteous man. The world would have been poorer without him. He's another man I'd like to know. I was glad he lived long enough to be recognized for his part. And not to forget the part of all those who aided in giving funds, some of whom might have been their own families. May their memories be for a blessing.

Had you heard of him before?

Don't be prepared in your life only to do no wrong; Be prepared every day to try to do some good. Sir Nicholas Winton

Karin
www.savvythinker.com
don't steal my posts -- you know who you are!

Originally posted 2009-09-05 11:23:59.

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I thoroughly enjoyed have a little faith ... a true story. A friend loaned me her copy yesterday, saying I would love it. She was right.

Albom also wrote Tuesdays with Morrie and other books.

Albom was raised in the Jewish faith. But he had drifted away, making more and more time for work and less and less for any sense of religion, except he would go back home and sit with his parents in his seat in the synagogue for High Holy days. He never joined a temple where he lived.

During one of his visits, the only rabbi he ever knew as his rabbi, the one from his childhood, asks him if he would write the eulogy for his funeral, not that he is dying, but he is in his 80s.

And so begins the true story of a return to faith.

Albom feels he must get to know the rabbi better, so he begins to fly in on weekends and ask him questions, the large questions of faith, interviewing him. Do you believe? Why do you believe? How did you survive the loss of your 5 year old daughter? How did you reconcile it to your faith? Do you believe in heaven? What about forgiveness? What comes after this life? Will we meet again?

And about the same time he meets a Detroit pastor, ministering to the poorest of the poor, who himself had been a convict, drug user and who-knows-what-all-else. For a long time Albom doesn't trust that the man is real. His before-story seems so beyond belief, to come from that into this.

The book is written not quite in alternating chapters, but close. One chapter will be the story of the rabbi (Albert Lewis) as it unfolds. Then a chapter will be of Henry Covington. And occasionally there will be excerpts from Lewis' sermons.

I felt it was a privilege to walk the path of faith with these three men. After all, each of our faith walks is different, but all of value to God.

Have you read this book?
I give it 4 stars out of 4 stars.

It is also available for Kindle:

Karin

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Originally posted 2010-08-25 15:24:56.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/review-have-a-little-faith-by-mitch-albom/feed/ 0 Finding a way out of disappointment, discouragement, despair http://savvythinker.com/finding-a-way-out-of-disappointment-discouragement-despair/ http://savvythinker.com/finding-a-way-out-of-disappointment-discouragement-despair/#comments Sun, 17 Jul 2011 18:39:57 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=7191

Life can be tough at times, that's for sure.

The adage: Into every life a little rain must fall holds little comfort, and I'd prefer real rain, thank you very much. Or the adage: When life gets tough, the tough get going, may be a whole lot easier said than done, when it comes to battling it out in your own life.

This quote came across my computer, and it started me thinking:

In every life there is some disappointment, but discouragement is a choice. In every life there is some disappointment. To become discouraged means it’s the way we think about disappointment that keeps us discouraged or encouraged. Mary Morrissey

Anybody who's ever fought a battle with discouragement, knows how difficult it can be. But it's the only way up and out of that black hole.

As I thought about this quote, it seemed to me that discouragement settles in when disappointments stick around for the long haul. Momentary disappointments are small blips on consciousness, but if they pile up, or if we see that there will be no changes, discouragement slides in the door and takes up residence.

And if discouragement settles in for very long, its companion despair shows up to sit alongside and whisper into consciousness. Also, serious grief skips the disappointment stage altogether and moves right into discouragement and despair.

I find it easier to catch at the disappointment stage than I do at the discouragement or despair stages.

Sometimes if I feel I could have done better than I did, I find myself disappointed in myself. That gives me two things to handle! And if I don't catch myself, I spiral downward.

Here are some things that work at times for me:

*It sometimes helps to have someone you can truly share with.
*I try to be good to myself, to be as accepting of my own humanness as I am of others'.
*I try to build up some strength in the easy moments.
*I try not to think about things, when I am overtired or need to eat or if life is crazy-busy (which I try to keep to a minimum.) (I'm laughing a bit at that right now, since I have to check my hall calendar to see what each day requires of me for the family.)
*I choose an activity that makes me happy: see a movie, read a book, do something with a friend or loved one, have some tea, take a walk, admire things that are beautiful, have a quiet time to myself...
*I try to make changes or ask for changes, if at all possible, not that they always happen. In fact, if I'm honest, they rarely do. The only change I can affect is within myself -- and that's not too easy all the time either.
*I try not to keep a tally of disappointments, but rather of the good things that occur.
*I look for hope and express some gratitude.
*I pray for the ability to accept the things that just are and for a way out of the hole, if I am in it.

This prayer is a good reminder to me:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

Knowing the difference can be a huge key.

What works for you?
If it's not raining in your life right now, you can be happy about that!

Karin
www.savvythinker.com

Originally posted 2010-09-21 14:12:26.

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Years ago I read a book by Christian author Joyce Landorf Irregular People . She posits that everyone has one...and if you don't, thank God.

As I remember it, at the time it didn't offer me a lot of new insights, but I loved the title of the book, as it gave me a kind of humorous handle on thinking about difficult people or situations.

A recent New York Times article delves into the same topic: Help, I'm surrounded by jerks and the plethora of books that deal with the subject now.

But in an age when no problem goes unacknowledged or unaddressed, living with such people is no longer the only choice. Stephanie Rosenbloom

Having somebody who is really difficult can actually be good for the workplace.If everyone really hates this one person, it becomes the basis of social bonding for the rest of the group. Jo-Ellen Pozner, a researcher in the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern.

Are there more jerks today or are we only more sensitive to them? Are we simply less willing to put up with them? Those are the $64,000 questions.

Is it possible they might be us, LOL.

Hmmm, does a jerk ever recognize they are one? or do they know and they are just being intentional about it, because they can get away with it or are bullies and no one has stood up to them, or whatever?

Karin

Originally posted 2007-01-25 09:18:26.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/dealing-with-irregular-people/feed/ 4 What grows in the garden of your heart? http://savvythinker.com/what-grows-in-the-garden-of-your-heart/ http://savvythinker.com/what-grows-in-the-garden-of-your-heart/#comments Mon, 20 Jun 2011 07:39:38 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/2007/06/25/what-grows-in-the-garden-of-your-heart/

I liked the progression of this quotation. Often one quality in thought leads to another, and it's difficult to get off the treadmill. So it is important what qualities are in our progression of thought, or our progressive steps might be blocked by qualities that don't allow a forward flow.

I'm not always as quick as I'd like to be in stopping a thought, but I work at it daily. I don't think we have to think every thought that presents itself to our consciousness. We have a choice.

I was taught as a child to stand porter at the door of thought and only allow those thoughts in that are helpful. It was the natural way for me to think, but I have a friend who had never heard of the concept and didn't know she had a choice in her thoughts, but of course, she knew she didn't have to act on everything she thinks.

How about you? do you turn away thoughts or do you feel you have to think every thought that comes?

Karin

Hope is the seed of belief.
Belief is the seedling of faith.
Faith is the stem of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the flower of love.
Love is the blossom of life.
Author unknown but you can buy it at signals.com

It reminded me of the progression in this quote:

Phil4: 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV

Originally posted 2007-06-25 08:23:50.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/what-grows-in-the-garden-of-your-heart/feed/ 2 Review Thor (no spoiler) http://savvythinker.com/review-thor-no-spoiler/ http://savvythinker.com/review-thor-no-spoiler/#comments Sun, 29 May 2011 23:35:33 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=7818

I thoroughly enjoyed Thor when I went to see it. It is a guy's movie that gals will appreciate too. (Chris Hemsworth!) (actually the storyline too.) It got a good review in our paper, but I wasn't sure if I would necessarily like it or not.

It pretty much had a winning combo with Kenneth Branagh directing Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman, not to mention Chris Hemsworth playing Thor (whoo hooo.) I was pleasantly surprised that Hemsworth's acting was not one-dimensional like so many comic characters might be and have been. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, Thor's brother. I loved Idris Elba as Heimdall, the keeper of the pathway.

The story
Thor and his hammer can win most any war, but war is not always the wisest course of action. He feels he is invincible and leads his friends into a situation that could have tipped the balance of power against his father and his reign. Thor is set to be crowned the next king, but his father realizes he is not ready. Surprise! (for Thor.)

In the background is a traitor whose identity will be revealed and his motivation and his background which isn't as it seems. If you've read the comic book, you probably know who this is. Otherwise, no spoiler.

As a result of the near fiasco, Thor's father, played by Hopkins, banishes him to earth along with his hammer, which has been separated from him. Only the person worthy of the hammer will be able to use it.

Of course, then the hammer is investigated (and protected) by certain US agents. And Thor must find his way back to it and be able to use it.

How this is accomplished, which you know it will be, is the essence of the movie. Portman helps him in this endeavor, as does her colleague (Stellan Skarsgård) (I always like him.) And his friends stick with him, against the traitor, even as he sticks with them. Through the process, Thor learns to lead and to protect.

There is a good moral, or more than one, in the story. It is a kind of parable. Among them: Watch your back! Protect yourself. Don't go into situations unwisely.

Do not leave before the end of the credits!
If you do, you will miss an important scene/preview -- and the credits roll and roll and roll, but do not give up! It is worth it.

Have you seen it?
I give it 3*** out of 4****, as did our paper.

In Norse mythology, Thor (from Old Norse Þórr) is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder, lightning, storms, oak trees, strength, destruction, fertility, healing, and the protection of mankind. wikipedia

I love the Trollbead Thor's Hammer bead -- there may be a link to it lower on the page.

Karin
www.savvythinker.com


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I know anger is a universal emotion. But the juxtaposition of my short remark yesterday about dealing with my own angry anger was followed by receiving this message into my email box. I had to laugh. Again, I think this reaches way beyond the bounds of divorce, into universals.

Defining Anger
Day 59

Dr. Les Carter says that having anger means standing up for your own worth, needs, and convictions.

"You don't get angry when folks are kind, pleasant, or understanding. Anger shows up when someone has rejected you or is being uncooperative, or when a person is being critical, harsh, or difficult to get along with. When anger appears on the scene, it arouses your sense of self-preservation.

"You want to preserve one of three things. You want to preserve your worth as a human being; your anger can be your way of wishing to say, 'Please, show me some respect, will you?' Anger can be your way of preserving your basic needs: 'Recognize that I have needs, and acknowledge them, please.' Or anger can be a way that you stand up for your deepest convictions. It is your way of saying, 'I believe in things, and I don't want to back away from them.'"

You will feel anger at some point in your divorce. [You fill in the blank for whatever is making you angry. Karin] Do not try to deny or suppress this emotion. God does not condemn you for your anger when it is justified. God Himself is described as "slow to anger"--not "never angry."

"And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, 'The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness'" (Exodus 34:6).

Lord God, sometimes my anger is justifiable; sometimes it's not. Help me to be slow to anger, like You. Amen.

For more information about DivorceCare, including how to sign up for these daily emails, please visit.

I can't figure out if I have very little anger (because I hardly ever feel or express it) or if it is so sublimated and running so deep that I'd better get a handle on it. Who knows. I'm not going to waste any time over it. I imagine it's a bit of both. The Serenity Prayer comes in handy at times:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr

It's a truism that progress happens because of discontent, even anger. Otherwise, we'd still be living in caves.

A Bible verse I especially love is:

Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. KJV

Karin

I do not know about the workbook that is presented below as I have never seen it.

Suggested reading from the DivorceCare HelpCenter

The Anger Workbook
Les Carter

A 13-step interactive plan that explains how emotions and unmet needs can feed anger--and tells how readers can find healthy ways to express and control it. This unique workbook offers answers for anyone who struggles with destructive anger and wants to develop healthy alternatives for dealing with it. The only anger management program on the market that offers interactive exercises to help the readers understand and modify behavior.

Go to the following link to order this or other resources from the DivorceCare HelpCenter:

Originally posted 2007-03-02 07:59:20.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/universal-emotions/feed/ 0 Hey Good Looking by Fern Michaels http://savvythinker.com/hey-good-looking-by-fern-michaels/ http://savvythinker.com/hey-good-looking-by-fern-michaels/#comments Mon, 21 Mar 2011 22:34:56 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=1083

I enjoyed this book by Fern Michaels. It is only the second one I've read by her.

Central to the story are three sisters ranging in age upwards from 69. They were so funny to me, especially when they instigate a 'kidnapping' of sorts, which is really a rescue. I suppose what I like about them is that I want to be like them when I get to that point in life -- feisty, involved, loving, fun to be around, engaged in what is going on around them, taking care of their families. I wasn't enamored of the amount of drinking they did. And there is a brief mention of a child born and left to be raised in Japan.

Alongside their stories (and two brief forays into romance for two of them) is the story of their grown niece, interwoven with the stories of the historical nature of where they live, as well as those who live in their neighborhood.

Also central to the story is the subject of organ donation (which was done against the will of well-beloved character.) It ultimates in finding those who received the donations (by computer hacking) -- and ultimately redemption.

It is a story of love, affirmation and good will, with a tidy ending, perhaps tidier than real life would be, but evidencing forgiveness.

I think I enjoyed it as much for the older women and their relationship to each other as anything. In some ways they reminded me of a beloved grandmother. While there are difficult subjects tackled, they are tackled in a light way. Sort of like the substance of whipped cream. Not real satisfying, but an attempt to be deeper than the average romance novel.

I give it a 2.5.
Karin


Originally posted 2008-08-13 14:53:12.

Online Stores ]]> http://savvythinker.com/hey-good-looking-by-fern-michaels/feed/ 1 Review: Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore http://savvythinker.com/review-same-kind-of-different-as-me-by-ron-hall-and-denver-moore/ http://savvythinker.com/review-same-kind-of-different-as-me-by-ron-hall-and-denver-moore/#comments Thu, 24 Feb 2011 13:46:39 +0000 Karin http://savvythinker.com/?p=7614

I forget now where I heard of this book in the last few days, but it sounded intriguing to me, and the library had it, so I picked it up. The book is written with Lynn Vincent.

Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together I expected the slavery to be in other countries, not my own, the USA, until I read the description.

A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together
Denver Moore was a sharecropper in Louisiana, picking cotton for the Man. No education, couldn't read or write. One day walks off, jumps a train into his new life, which wasn't a whole lot better than his old one. Prison time -- 10 years -- homeless; scary persona so he would be left alone. Sometimes not speaking to anyone for months, purposefully. No animosity to the Man.

But Denver is a man who is quietly, without fanfare, already ministering to another homeless man, curmudgeonly, full of hate for Christians, who calls him a nigger.

Enter Debbie Hall, a woman in a relationship with God, devout, but not a do-gooder. For various reasons she is led to begin volunteering at the local Mission for the homeless. She brings along her husband who has become a very wealthy man through selling art internationally. He isn't too sure about it all.

What starts out as a Tuesday, ends up being more complex. She sees the area ultimately with flowers and picket fences and in a dream she sees the face of a poor man who will save the city. When she spots his face at the Mission, she encourages her husband to become friends with Denver.

Now Denver, he is a man with caution -- for a lot of good reasons, including losses of his own -- and he says he will think over the offer of friendship, as he thinks over everything.

And the next day he asks Ron a profound question: will he catch and release? Will he catch Denver as a friend, then release him? (And this is sort of what Ron had been thinking, that it was a friendship for a time, not for a lifetime. That he would be a kind of Henry Higgins to Denver, not thinking that Denver had anything to offer him, only that he could do a lot for Denver.) (Ron does not skirt over his own faults, including being unfaithful to his wife. But they are seen through the lens of love and forgiveness and the power of a changed life.)

If you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever.

And it is sum kinda friendship, let me tell you. If you want to know what real friendship is, this book is for you. And don't underestimate the power of faith, in belief in God, even if it isn't your particular brand.

This book is the story of their unlikely friendship and of how it changes them both. You will have tears of joy for the sweetness of this book, told in pretty much alternating chapters. The homespun (and Christian and godly) wisdom of Denver -- and his faithfulness in praying for Debbie when she is dying -- will touch your heart. Everyone should have such a friend.

This book will likely increase your faith, even if you feel you haven't any.

I rate it 5***** out of 5. It is easy to read, full of gentle wisdom. One real lesson: learn to see the inward man.

Here's one quote I liked:

And I told [God] I didn't like it. That's the good thing 'bout God. Since He can see right through your heart anyway, you can go on and tell him what you really think.

Yes, you can.

The book deals honestly and realistically with Debbie's illness and dying, something that was completely unexpected. But it is shown filled with prayer, questions, answers, spirituality, visions and angels, which tempers the grief and pain.

Have you read this book? Will you read it?
I believe it will change and deepen your own faith.

If you'd like to see Denver speak (the last few minutes are well worth listening to):

All of the net profits (at least of Ron Hall's, I don't know about Denver) of the book go to help fund the mission.

Buy: Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together

Buy: Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together (Kindle Edition)

There are also

Buy Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall | Summary & Study Guide (Kindle Edition) | BookRags.com

Buy: Faith Lessons From Same Kind of Different As Me: A DVD-Based Study, Participant's Guide

Buy: What Difference Do It Make?: Stories of Hope and Healing

Buy: What Difference Do It Make?: Stories of Hope and Healing (Kindle Edition)

Karin
www.savvythinker.com





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