A Mom Without a Baby

by Karin on June 28, 2007 · 0 comments

in Adoption, Guest writer

I loved this new mom's description of desiring her new Chinese daughter. It's good when you are waiting to have a new story.

Karin

For so long I've been a mom without a baby, my arms always felt empty, my life was missing a primary occupation, I longed for cheeks to kiss and hands to hold.

Not any more! My baby is here in my arms and I am overwhelmed with love for her. Holding her is more wonderful than I imagined. My arms ache from carrying her, my back and my hips too for that matter - but it is very hard for me to let go of her.

She's sleeping now, and I'm exhausted - but I don't care, I can't wait for her to wake up so I can see her and she can see me. She cries when she wakes up, but as soon as I call her name she stops because she has already learned that I am coming.

Her cries make me jump to her in an instant even from a deep sleep. I can't let her cry without me for a minute. This goes against my theories of parenting in general, but she has different needs than a bayb who has been with her mama her whole life.

I learned yesterday that she was in a foster home for the first five months, then the orphanage for the next three. So I am the third person she has been asked to trust to love her and meet her needs in a very short little life so far. She has already lost 2 people. Her cries are very gentle and soft and it makes me wonder how many times she was not responded to before, did she almost give up on crying since it didn't work?

No more Abigail, you will never be left to cry again honey. Cry loudly, cry madly, cry impatiently, for whatever reason honey, you tell me and I'm there. You are loved more than I knew someone can love. You are protected as much as I can possibly protect. You will have what you need and you will have someone who is for you your always and forever.

Thanks for being my baby and for filling my arms at long last. I love you Abigail.

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