Deborah Rodriguez has written a must-read book for those interested in other cultures and the fate of women world-wide. She has changed the names and stories, but the stories are true.
I’ve wanted to read this book ever since I heard of it, but never got around to having the time to do so.
My questions would be how endangered are any of the women she helped as a result of her book? and how accurate is the telling? I don’t think identities could be withheld that thoroughly, and the stories are enough similar than any abusive husband could suspect it is his wife they are talking about.
Rodriguez has led an interesting life by anyone’s standards. In 2002 she traveled to Afghanistan with a humanitarian group. Not only did it given her the opportunity to flee her second husband who was abusive and she later divorced, but she found her niche. A hairdresser by trade, she doesn’t realize how much her skills would be welcomed.
She contacts Paul Mitchell who donates truckloads of product. Then she has to figure out how to get them, not only in her garage and away from her husband, but to Afghanistan. Another western woman in situ has also been moving in this direction and the two of them work together to establish a beauty school in Kabul.
Meantime, Rodriguez learns of the daily tragedies of Afghan women who are subjugated in many ways, including being beaten by their fathers or their husbands with impunity, groped on streets, made to serve in prostitution or worse, in a society that has generations of patriarchy behind it and no male incentive or desire to change.
Marriages are arranged to men often double digit older than their wives-to-be, men who go back to the lives they led in Europe who then divorce this wife, leaving her to her fate, or bring her to the foreign country where she disappears from her family. (The preparation for a wedding is interesting, including such things as waxing all body hair from both the bride and groom.)
Women are little more than chattel. They must prove their virginity, even after marriage to another; be subjugated to their husbands and their in laws; and etc.
Rodriguez finds herself loving the country and the women in a unique time when many men are unable to find work so they are willing, albeit with pressure, to allow their wives to learn the skills in order to support the family.
It is not a pretty picture, but it is one we would do well to heed. Unless we want the fate of women to deteriorate to such a state, we must hold the line with laws and regulations in countries outside of this culture where these women are brought to live — even with second or third wives in the home country. (Men will visit every couple of years so these women become pregnant again.)
Rodriguez manages to open the school, standing up to officials and husbands. She finds a way to bridge the cultural gap to explain the logistics of hair coloring, by finally describing the underlying color as Satan that must be obliterated in order for the color to take effect. Then she allows the woman who grasps this concept to teach it to the other women.
Along the way she gathers a third husband, Afghan, in an arranged marriage, that she allows herself to be swept into, while at the same time realizing she needs the protection of a man in order to resolve some of the issues. The story of this marriage is woven into the book. She also knows she is the second wife. His is still married to his first wife who lives in another country with their children — and has another child while Rodriguez is married to the same man.
She touches on the various ethnicities that are represented in Afghanistan; the compounds in which people live; the difficulties of having a beauty school when electricity and water are issues; and much more.
I understand the school is now closed and she may be living outside the country. I don’t know details, but would be happy if someone could provide them.
Have you read it? I give it a 3.
Karin
If you liked this article, vote for it on del.icio.us and stumbleupon.Categories:
Books, Non-fiction
Related Articles Related Stores
1 comment so far ↓
[...] recorded first by henx on 2008-10-06→ Kabul Beauty School: An American Woman Goes Behind the Veil [...]
Leave a Comment