How adoption becomes part of the self, even into adulthood

…these issues are issues I deal with as an adult adoptee…issues do not stop with childhood/adolescence, no matter what researchers or adoptive parents might think. Because part of opening myself to this list [IAT] is helping adoptive parents to see the ways that adoption shapes/touches/influences even those parts of our lives that seem separate…and to say that the hurt inside of me created first when I was abandoned and continued during my entire life no matter how much I mature… that hurt is part of my identity. For good and for bad. It gives me empathy, it gives me a need to love, and it gives me tenderness…but it also gives me a terrible vulnerability.

I open up that vulnerability to be of service to others because it is the only way for me to make meaning of this terrible loss, this unresolvable grief.

It is who I am. boamseng at IAT, Korean Adoptee (KAD) with permission

She would be willing to talk with parents who would like to know what she means more concretely. For now, email me and I will forward the messages to her.

Karin

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Adoption, Guest writer



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