A valuable principle to keep in mind is: Leave people feeling better about themselves as a result of having met you.

Some people take pleasure in putting others down. It makes them feel more powerful to make others feel lower. In reality, the perpetration of such a crime lowers and demeans the perpetrator rather than the victim.

The person who leaves others feeling better about themselves elevates himself. The question to ask yourself is, “What can I say to this person that will give him a positive feeling?”

Be sincere in what you say. The goal is not to flatter or to give people a false sense of having a positive quality or attribute that they are missing. Rather the goal is to keep on developing your own “good eye” to see the positive in each person. When you develop positive feelings about other people, not only what you say will make them feel good but also how you say it. And not only your words will accomplish this, also the look on your face and your smile.

Use enthusiastic expressions. Instead of saying, “Not bad,” you can say, “That was really good.” Instead of saying, “That was o.k.,” you can say, “You’Â’re doing great.” Instead of saying, “That seems right,” you can say, “That was very insightful.”

Here are some other possibilities:

* “I admire your kindness.”
* “I respect the way you handled that.”
* “You have a lot of courage to do that.”
* “That was magnificent of you.”
* “I find you an inspiration.”
* “There is a lot that I can learn from you.”
* “You are so kind to have said that to me.”
* “Your goodness is so much a part of you that you take it for granted.”
* “Every time I see you I feel happier.”
* “Whenever I meet you, I remember the kindness you have done for me.” From Kindness: Making a Difference in People’s Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights By Zelig Pliskin

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Guest writer, Quotations, Relationships

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