A manageable struggle

March 25th, 2007 | Just thinking

Perhaps I should have titled this: Living by questions (in light of my post a month or so ago about living with verbs…)

Someone said to me not too long ago that her struggle was manageable.

I thought that was a great phrase. Manageable is good, as I told her. No one wants unmanageable.

As for struggle, none of us likes to, but it goes along with this life, at least at times. Darn it!

Another friend recently told me about a woman who spoke about being in a 12 step program. The woman said that she was later encouraged to take it to the 13th step, which was healing.

That made an impression on me too, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I put it together with my friend’s statement that her struggle was manageable.

Rhetorical questions have been running through my mind. They have no answers, and I’m not even really looking for any, just thinking outblog (I think I coined that phrase), which is why I subtitled this Living by questions.

*How many things am I content to have at a manageable level vs. taking them a step farther?
*Once something is manageable do I even think there might be a step farther?

That’s the kicker. It’s so easy to just stay at a manageable plateau.

Well, I laugh, if we are talking about my house, I’m happy to have the illusion of perfection. Really, about all you can do is manage it, because trying to have it be perfect is an exercise in frustration. Everyone has to be able to live in their home with a certain level of comfort and not perfectionism. Kids make you lower your standards in some ways and raise them in others.

I’m not really talking about that, though it can be mighty frustrating.

I’m talking about all the other various things that are manageable or that we need to find a way to manage in our lives. With those, I’m living with questions as we all do.

*Is there a better solution?
*is there any solution?
*is there a 13th step?
*is this all there is?
*do I just have to reach a point of acceptance?

Sometimes the only way we know is by living it and gettin’ further on down the road.

If you are struggling right now, find some ways to make it manageable, if possible. Surround yourself with people who love you and ideas that lift you up. Be good to yourself every day and honor your feelings. Be gentle to yourself in your struggle. And maybe realize some questions don’t have answers in this life.

And if you are managing OK, or just OK, or maybe even better, what have you found that makes a struggle manageable for you?

Having a friend who cares, is one thing for me that goes a long ways. Having someone who can listen objectively without judgment and with love or compassion is also a big help.

Sometimes with the former you can’t say too much, but you know they care; and with the latter, you can bounce ideas off whether they are a friend, an acquaintance, a minister, or a therapist or have some other link to you. They aren’t always the same person.

Having someone who understands is even better.

Karin

If you liked this article, vote for it on del.icio.us and stumbleupon.

Categories: